Stupid pregnancy!??! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?

PrncssShan03

Excuse my french. I'm literally about to SCREAM right now.

I haven't been on this board in a while. I lost my first baby between 6-8 weeks on March 21st, 2010. My due date was Thanksgiving.

 Anyway, I'm going through a divorce now and moved to a new city. I think I met this amazing new friend who also lost her son at birth. It's rare you find someone in my age group, similar interests, and lost a child and is openly discussing it. I was so thankful for this new friend.

 So, as I mentioned she lost her son at birth. She wasn't married to the babies father, which I'm not saying is a huge deal...it just plays into the whole story. He was a total dirtbag, cheated on her, and abandoned her during the PG. TERRIBLE! Then to lose her baby boy on top of that...I mean...just awful.

Flash forward two years and she meets a guy who just ended a long term relationship. She's rebound chick. Sleeps with him right away and what do you know...she's pregnant now. Guys a jerk, wants nothing to do with her, etc. etc. They've known each other for a grand total of two months.

She was beating around the bush with me the past few days and saying everything BUT "I'm pregnant." How about you either say it or say nothing? Ridiculous! I finally called her out on it and she admitted it. She wrote me an email tonight and wanted to know why I don't feel I can be friends with her. She called it a "Stupid Pregnancy" and said she was probably just going to miscarry anyway. EXCUSE ME!?!?! EXCUSE ME!?!??! WTF!?!?!?!? YOU...someone who lost their son telling ME someone who lost their child that you are now in a STUPID PREGNANCY? Perhaps you should have thought of that when you slept with dude.

I'm totally enraged. I'm angry. I've decided to no longer be friends with this girl anymore. I've only known her for about 2 months and while I thought we'd end up being close friends for a really long time, I can't be friends with someone who makes such horrid decisions and is so non-chalant about it. We all make mistakes but twice in a row? I just have ZERO PATIENCE for someone with an oopsie pregnancy right now. I was diagnosed with infertility at 19 and lost my baby this year. I don't think I'll ever be okay with people who claim they don't want their babies, want sympathy for being pregnant, or call their own pregnancies stupid.

I can't believe it. 

7/04Bride

That's really frustrating.  I also have no patience for anyone in a situation like hers.

PrncssShan03

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. Some of my other friends who don't know her or don't really know the entire SPECTRUM of the situation think I'm being harsh. I think it's ridiculous and like you said, I have no patience for that. 

yeliza h

From someone who has been through a miscarriage before this loss, I can SOME WHAT understand where she is coming from. This could just be part of her grief. Remember people deal with grief differently. She could be scared out of her mind that this pregnancy will result in another pregnancy loss. And when you asked her about it all that could come out her mouth was "STUPID PREGNANCY" I would talk to her about how you both really feel about her pregnancy and be open about it. It is rare to meet someone with so much in common (especially something as tramatic as a loss) that you connect it.

Even though you have only known each other for two months, it may be worth it to talk to her. But trust me I know how frustrating this can be and how you may want to poke a pregnant woman who doesn't appreciate what she has.