Are Christmas lists tacky??

norman25

We aren't a big 'Christmas list' family, we just spread the word amongst the my parents and siblings on what we know/think that everyone wants. So I was a little put off when we got an email from my SO's brother containing three separate lists: one for baby, one for the wife, and one for the brother. In their defense, they requested one back which we provided (a much smaller list because I found it awkward). Isn't a part of Christmas buying something that you think someone will enjoy, not buying something off a predetermined list so they can act surprised? Are christmas lists the norm and I am just set in my ways?

Oh, and I already bought some of their gifts, so I return them in favor of buying off the list?

goldenleaves

We sometimes do lists, but just my immediate family (parents and sisters). Sometimes we don't. Sometimes the lists are full of joke items (new car, wife that can cook, etc.). Usually we'll just ask each other.

DH's family is easy. His mom always gets the same thing (Swarovski ornament) and his dad always gets candy.

DH and I usually only get each other small things, we're cheap and hate to spend money. If we need something we usually just buy it.

amandopolis

I only send out a Christmas list if I'm asked for one.  My MIL likes to get one because she likes to know she's getting us things that will be used.

If someone sent me a list that I didn't ask for, I'd probably be a little miffed at first.  I'd try to at least get him something from the list, since your goal should be to give him something he'll appreciate and enjoy.

curlychic

Our family has always been pretty big on lists. I consider it more of a suggestion than something that you have to stick to. For example, if I know that there is something new and different that I use on a day-to-day basis, then I might get that for a couple of the girls. For me, it helps when I have to buy for the guys in the family, because I never know what to get them.

I wouldn't return what you have already bought. It is the thought that counts.

starryeyeddreamer

mommy2BinMD:

Our family has always been pretty big on lists. I consider it more of a suggestion than something that you have to stick to. For example, if I know that there is something new and different that I use on a day-to-day basis, then I might get that for a couple of the girls. For me, it helps when I have to buy for the guys in the family, because I never know what to get them.

I wouldn't return what you have already bought. It is the thought that counts.

This. We did send one out to our parents - mainly for the ILs. We had mentioned we were going to make one, and they kept bugging us for it. When he is this little - we wanted to get age appropriate things, so it was more steered towards the ILs towards this. Not all of the 3+ years toys / books they keep buying. I am currently unemployed so we sent the list of stuff we need for Bryce - CDs and toys we have been wanting to buy him. MIL is big on buying books since she is a literacy specialist so we put a ton of books on their too that we have been wanting to buy him. They always ask us what we want anyway - so they were excited to get a list for him too.

Jen&Louie

They are only tacky if they are sent out without being requested - i.e. "Please buy me gifts..."

My family is big on lists and we gets demands for them starting a few weeks before Thanksgiving.

cchill01

Lists are an absolute requirement in my family.  You are expected to provide item #, size and color.  Links are also appreciated. If you don't make a list, you will probably get a gift card or something you don't want.

What I hate about lists is that I have to manage them.  DH has 4 sets of parents/step-parents and then there's my family.  Last year, we both got lots of duplicate items because no one talks to each other.

norman25

Thanks for the different perspectives ladies. This is my first Christmas with his family (I wasn't invited any other year because we aren't married). I will just pass it off as being their way of doing Christmas and get used to it.

Jeni182

For adults, maybe. Guess it depends on your family. I kind of see them as a must for kids though. My sister and I let our parents know what our kids need so they get things that are useful instead of random toys that they have a million of. I don't see that as tacky.

kelbel527

cchill01:

Lists are an absolute requirement in my family.  You are expected to provide item #, size and color.  Links are also appreciated. If you don't make a list, you will probably get a gift card or something you don't want.

What I hate about lists is that I have to manage them.  DH has 4 sets of parents/step-parents and then there's my family.  Last year, we both got lots of duplicate items because no one talks to each other.

This is totally my family.  My brother & sister & I manage each other's lists by passing around the word of what has already been purchased.  It can get annoying, but I'm used to it.

For our nephews, we absolutely need lists.  They change sizes, likes, dislikes so much that we'd always get it wrong.  Then when they open their gifts on Christmas, I know it's actually something they wanted.

kristinem17

This year DH and I are not exchanging gifts, it's all about DS.  But in the past we have each made a list for one another.  It's funny because DH has actually bought everything on my wish list... so much for being surprised and not getting everything!  This year I made a list on Amazon for DS and sent the link e-mail to my immediate family and 1st cousins, because we are all getting together for Christmas and they wanted to know what they should get for DS - combined with the fact that his birthday is Feb 1st, they wanted to go ahead and see what they could buy for both.  It worked for us.  And since they are rarely at our house, they don't know what he has already.

curlychic

norman25:

Thanks for the different perspectives ladies. This is my first Christmas with his family (I wasn't invited any other year because we aren't married). I will just pass it off as being their way of doing Christmas and get used to it.

I said above that my family does it, but FWIW, DH and his family do not. The first Christmas he spent with my family, he thought that it was absolutely ridiculous. He is a Redskins fan and my family are huge Steelers fans. He put nothing on his list other than Redskins Crap and Black Socks. He got a red skin potato or red skinned peanuts from everyone in the family and a pack of black socks. After receiving 8 3-packs of black socks and a bunch of potatoes and peanuts, he has provided a list every year!

Luv-a-Bug

Considering I get asked by a million people what we want/need every year (us AND baby), I don't think having a list handy is tacky at all.