Just venting...

EcoBaby

First, are ads popping up on your screen on TB every time you come to a new page? I wasn't logged in - I wonder if that's the problem or if my computer has a virus or something.

Anyways...

I had to go to a work holiday party (no wait, a CHRISTMAS party, they refused to call is "holiday" lol) with my husband and I guess my husband and I are now in the "parent" club because that is what people talked to us about most of the night. Or maybe they were giving us unwanted advice. I don't know. But I'm not kidding when I say that two people bragged about spaking their kids for at least an hour. Maybe longer. They are like the story-telling, I'll-one-up-you type so they kept trying to one-up each other about how badly their kids misbehave, and how tough they are by spanking their kids.

I tried changing the topic multiple times and it kept coming back to how awesome they are for spanking. And we were all sitting down to eat so it was impossible to leave. It was one of the craziest conversations I've been involved in. When I mentioned that my siblings and I weren't spanked, they were shocked. I said, "I used to wish that I was spanked because my dad's reasonableness in his discipline was so effective. At least if they spanked me I could be mad at them and go back to doing whatever I wanted without feeling guilty." LOL That was pretty much the only sentence I got in there. Oh, and I mentioned that we don't spank Gavin but they said that we will someday.

At least I only have to spend time with them once a year!

anderson_moore2008

I am logged in and the adds are popping up.  Not everytime but a good number of times very annoying.

 Christmas Party sounds horrible!  Sounds very frustrating, I have a girl from birth class (all the mums still meet up regularly) who let her son CIO from 3-4 weeks and supposedly had him STTN for 12 hours from 4 weeks and is still STTN 12 hours and I feel I can never talk about any sleep problems with DD when she is around because she will chide me for not CIO which really bothers me since I have NEVER once mentioned my feelings about CIO at any age but especially before 6-9 months because I feel every parent has to come to their own parenting decisions.  If I had been stuck with her for a whole Christmas party I might have wanted to hurt myself or her. 

shaunna&chad

anderson_moore2008:

I am logged in and the adds are popping up.  Not everytime but a good number of times very annoying.

 

This.  & .  I'm sorry you have to be in that "club".  I don't understand why in our country, toughness and violence are seen as desirable.  Not to hijack your post, but I was reminded of a local news story a few weeks ago, and the FB comments about it.  A teen was shot and killed at a birthday party, most likely gang related.  His mother (or a family friend) commented that "real men fight with their fists, not guns."     Luckily, someone replied that "real men don't fight at all.  They use their words (reasonably), or they just walk away."  Sorry, it's kinda unrelated, but just goes to show the mentality of people...

nekorayne

UGH, that sounds horrible! This is how I am with BIL and his wife though. hen my younger nephew was 3 months and Raz was a newborn they would go on and on about spoiling him. If my nephew would cry they would just sit him in the pack and play and ignore him. They are also big into spanking thier older son and kindof brag about it to. I always feel awkward.

anna7602

Wow, it's very un-PC around here to even say you lost your temper and accidentally yelled at your child (guilty and I feel terrible), so I can't imagine spanking coming up in conversation as something to be "proud" of. But I have a long list of other parenting conversation topics that drive me batty, so I sympathize with you.

And yes, I keep getting ads, specifically for Citibank. Not sure if all ads are the same or if it targets you based on where you are geographically or something.

Army_Wife_04

I haven't had any pop-up ads, but I am annoyed with the new my bump settings.

That sounds like a horrible Christmas party. Why would people feel it necessary to brag about something so mean during a holiday gathering, where's the Christmas spirit? I have a small group of acquaintances from my husband's unit that all parent very differently than me.  When we do get together, they talk about "swatting" their LOs when they're "bad". The oldest child in the group is 6, but most of them are under 3. I don't feel it is appropriate discipline for children of any age, but I am appalled that they think their 2 year old needs to be spanked.  I just ignore the conversation and busy myself with DS so I don't open my mouth!

Harper'smom

anna7602:

Wow, it's very un-PC around here to even say you lost your temper and accidentally yelled at your child (guilty and I feel terrible), so I can't imagine spanking coming up in conversation as something to be "proud" of. But I have a long list of other parenting conversation topics that drive me batty, so I sympathize with you.

And yes, I keep getting ads, specifically for Citibank. Not sure if all ads are the same or if it targets you based on where you are geographically or something.

 

I've been getting the Citibank ads as well for a few weeks.

OP- What a buzz kill at a party. I find myself actually shying away from social opportunities with other parents because I don't want to hear this type of thing or feel like defending our parenting views. The ERF conversations are enough to drive me mad let alone the ones regarding discipline.

ncbelle

Sounds like a delightful evening - blah.  That's such a strange thing to brag about.  Although I like your retort ;-)

And I'm randomly getting pop-ups too despite pop up blocker and staying logged in.

Ananke

I probably would have said something snarky like, "Obviously spanking is working wonders with discipline problems since you're having to do it so often."  Anyone that can talk about spanking for an hour must either love spanking their kids, or they have very misbehaved children, in which case, their discipline methods are horribly ineffective. Either way, it's totally sad for the children. 

I was spanked to the extreme when I was a kid (belts, whips, paddles, whatever was handy), and all it did was make me afraid and untrusting of my parents, especially when I got in trouble (and spanked) for something that either wasn't very bad, or I didn't even do (my step-brother blamed me for a lot of his crap), and when they spanked out of anger rather than as true, loving discipline.  I think it is a very rare circumstance that justifies physical discipline.

jkkg317

I told  DH before LO was born that terrorizing a child into doing what you say only leads to more problems.  I was spanked as a child and I think my sister and I have a lot of issues from it, anger depression and I have trouble standing up for myself. I don't think it's an ok punishment because I was embarrassed and I hated my parents. My grandma told me I should give the baby a diaper pat when he was crying and say No, I told her at one month old he wouldn't know what had happened and probably wouldn't realize he had been punished, I on the other hand would be the only one upset. My grandma also likes to tell people that they beat the terrible 2s out of us. Different generation I guess but you get the idea of how things went at home. I always thought it made the parents look like they had lost control. Idk I have a whole soapbox on it. It has to suck to be stuck there though

WyoGal

Uggh, sounds weird and miserable. What an odd thing to "brag" about.