MIL is driving me nuts w/ Christmas

aocain02@yahoo.com

So MIL sees our Christmas stockings we ordered from PBK on Thanksgiving and keeps talking about how cute they are so she asked DH where I ordered them and he tells her. What does she do? Goes and orders the same style for him at her house. I wanted these to be unique to us and told DH, but he has no backbone to stand up to his mom. So I get an email from her today asking where I got our stocking hangers. We've had them a few years so I told her I don't remember. They are nothing special but I want something special to us. And to top it all off she asks if we are coming over for Christmas. We have come over every year since DH and I started dating 7 years ago, now why randomly would we not come this year? Am I just being crazy like her because it's he holidays?

KRMac

Argh, that is annoying.  Why would you have 2 of the same stockings for LO?  Strange. 

My MIL is making DS's stocking (she insisted).  All we have heard since she started is what a PITA it has been, how she works on it for hours every night, etc, etc.  We won't even have it for Christmas now because she won't be done with it/has other stuff to do/doesn't want to mail it to us.  WTH is even the point?  Seriously, don't offer to do nice things if you are just going to complain about them. 

starryeyeddreamer

H is the same way - he won't stand up to them about anything. For example - the ILs have been giving us presents almost every time we see them since LO was born - but especially now that Christmas is getting closer since they just "couldn't wait to give it to him". He won't tell them that we appreciate it, but he doesn't need a new toy every time we see them. We got the story of Christmas or something like that last weekend - it is recorded with MILs voice. She seems him every weekend - every other weekend at most. He won't forget her voice. She said as we were leaving "be sure to read it every night Bryce" - 4 times! Even H was like - record over it haha - we would never do it. I think the books are cute for relatives that he wouldn't get to see often - but since the ILs have been driving me insane for many reasons since LO was born - the last thing I want to do is read him this book every night. She said they "even have regular, non-Christmas record-able books now" - I know what he is getting for Christmas :-(.

Edit - I meant to say, that she got him a stocking too. I want stockings to be a special thing from Santa. It will be okay this year, but I want him to have it be special when he opens his stocking Christmas morning. She also bought me a Baby's First Christmas ornament for my birthday in SEPTEMBER - I honestly don't know what happened to it either since then - since we rearranged stuff in our room. I know she is going to be looking for it on the tree at Christmas too! I bought my own but. . . She also bought one for my mom "grandma's first christmas" - And that is what I wanted to do as the ILs/my parents Christmas gifts - but she she did this in September before I had a chance to buy them. Ugh.  

dragonsmercy

Nah, you're not being crazy. We all want something special to our own family.

I imagine your MIL is asking if you're coming over this year in particular because you have a child of your own now. A lot of people change their holiday habits once they have a family of their own, and she just wants to make sure things haven't changed.

BFab11

That sounds annoying. MIL always gives ornaments, so I expected her to get C's first Christmas ornament. I made his stocking and was very vocal (like setting my fb status, "getting fabric for C's stocking!" "sewing C's stocking!" "C's stocking is going to be so cute when I finish!" etc) about it to make it clear the stocking was MINE. That would drive me crazy; it's hard when someone is already annoying you, then ask stupid/obvious questions that normally you'd brush off, but since you're already annoyed it just irritates you more, lol.

djm05

My MIL is the same way with things that should be special.  She is doing a stocking for DD at her house this year and it's fine this year, but once DD gets older stockings are going to be a Santa thing.  She also went ahead and made DD a "first Christmas" ornament and says to me "don't worry about buying her one, I already made it for her" (and judging by her taste in ornaments, it's likely going to be tacky), I'm still buying or making DD her own, I'm her mom and that's supposed to be my thing.  She also made a comment that she wants to throw DD a first birthday party at her house IN ADDITION to the one I'm planning, yeah that's not going to happen. 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

That's annoying but on the flip side I have a FIL who doesn't give DD gifts, he says "she's too young to appreciate gifts" and hasn't taken one photo of her so far.  He lives about 5 miles from us and we see him about 1-2x per week.  Ironically, he's a professional photographer who travels the world taking pictures of little kids in remote villages.  Crazy huh?  He has photos of other kids on his walls...not one of his first grandchild. 

aocain02@yahoo.com

I tried to explain to DH how certain things should be special to him and it upsets me she swoops in and steals ideas. I love my MIL to death, don't get me wrong, but she is so possessive of DS. I've tried to explain to DH that she already had her kids and got to do the speculation Christmas things with him and his brother so it should be our turn now. He won't go there. Then her crazy sister is making photo gifts of DS. Excuse me, he's my kid and I gave birth so I reserve the right to wh0re him out in photo mugs and books for people. Grrrr!

starryeyeddreamer

Ivana.Stolichnaya:

That's annoying but on the flip side I have a FIL who doesn't give DD gifts, he says "she's too young to appreciate gifts" and hasn't taken one photo of her so far.  He lives about 5 miles from us and we see him about 1-2x per week.  Ironically, he's a professional photographer who travels the world taking pictures of little kids in remote villages.  Crazy huh?  He has photos of other kids on his walls...not one of his first grandchild. 

That's sad - especially since she is beautiful! I'm sorry that he is like that.  

starryeyeddreamer

ALG29:

I tried to explain to DH how certain things should be special to him and it upsets me she swoops in and steals ideas. I love my MIL to death, don't get me wrong, but she is so possessive of DS. I've tried to explain to DH that she already had her kids and got to do the speculation Christmas things with him and his brother so it should be our turn now. He won't go there. Then her crazy sister is making photo gifts of DS. Excuse me, he's my kid and I gave birth so I reserve the right to wh0re him out in photo mugs and books for people. Grrrr!

I tried explaining this to H too - but he grew up with his grandparents doing the same things his parents are doing so he doesn't see a problem with it. He finally decided he would tell them that the stocking thing is a Santa thing if they do it next year too. They are coming to our house for Christmas morning - so its odd to me that they would think it is okay to bring a stocking like Santa too. Oh I would be mad if someone was trying to make photo gifts too - that is your thing.  

MexiCali

My IL's don't celebrate christmas. My mom told me that they are this year and that they told her they were getting Z a trike for christmas. We are planning to get him a trike for his 1st birthday. They don't even celebrate it and we don't even have plans on seeing them for christmas. We never do.

I hope my mother heard wrong and they haven't even told us anything.

aocain02@yahoo.com

Ivana.Stolichnaya:

That's annoying but on the flip side I have a FIL who doesn't give DD gifts, he says "she's too young to appreciate gifts" and hasn't taken one photo of her so far.  He lives about 5 miles from us and we see him about 1-2x per week.  Ironically, he's a professional photographer who travels the world taking pictures of little kids in remote villages.  Crazy huh?  He has photos of other kids on his walls...not one of his first grandchild. 

That is sad. I guess no matter what they do, IL's will always drive you crazy.

aocain02@yahoo.com

Ivana.Stolichnaya:

That's annoying but on the flip side I have a FIL who doesn't give DD gifts, he says "she's too young to appreciate gifts" and hasn't taken one photo of her so far.  He lives about 5 miles from us and we see him about 1-2x per week.  Ironically, he's a professional photographer who travels the world taking pictures of little kids in remote villages.  Crazy huh?  He has photos of other kids on his walls...not one of his first grandchild. 

That is sad. I guess no matter what they do, IL's will always drive you crazy.

sasky

ALG29:

I tried to explain to DH how certain things should be special to him and it upsets me she swoops in and steals ideas.

This would drive me nuts too.

I make a certain dessert every year for Christmas Eve.  I'm kind of known for it in the family.  People love it and look forward to it.

Last year a few weeks before Christmas, MIL was asking how I made it.  I told her, just thinking she was curious.  Well she showed up at Christmas Eve with my dessert. I was like this when she walked in with it. She KNOWS I make it every year.  And we had discussed the entire menu (she helps out a lot with the cooking).

It's so not like her to do something like that, so I was shocked.

So anytime I think someone's making a big deal out of something like a stocking, I think of that night.  And I totally get it.

meggs100

I totally get it too!

My MIL steals pictures that I post on facebook to print out on her printer at home. Then she calls and asks my H why they aren't turning out correctly ( telling him she just copied the pics off of my facebook post and can't figure out why they won't print out nicely ). THIS DRIVES ME INSANE. I will post a few pics occasionally - like Mia's baptism or her 1st bday party (events that MIL attended and didn't take any pictures herself ) and then steals the pictures that I took. Drives me crazy! Take your own D@mn pics! So I blocked her from my pics!