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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
What are you judged on?
So, we had the discussion the other day, about how we all judge other moms. Most of us try not to, but there is always that mother you see at the grocery store screaming at her kids and you silently judge her in your mind. It's human nature.
On the flip side, what do you think other people judge you about? For me, it would be that I am a young mom. I am only 23 and I have a 3 1/2 yo DS and a 9 mo DD. I definitely get the side eye from people when I am grocery shopping with both kids and no DH.
Also, DS watches too much TV (he is almost 4) and my family is on my about it all the time. We always have the TV on in our house. Its just like background noise. We rarely sit down and actually watch it, we are usually doing other things, but it looks bad.
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Re: What are you judged on?
Some Macy's employee yelled out "Where are her socks? Her feet have got to be cold" when I was out shopping with my mom on Fri. Ummmm...it was hot in that store, she ripped them off and was fine. It's not like we were walking outside in the cold. Give me a break. And yes, the socks and shoes went back on and I put her back in her jacket before we went out to the car.
Before it started FREEZING and it was only brisk outside i would forget to put socks on DD. (she wont keep them on anyways) and i always got strangers saying things to me. I obviously put sock boots snow suit and the whole sha-bang on now.
and DH goes to school anhour and half away so during the week its just DD and I doing the errands, grocery shopping...I am a rather young mom too. I'll be 21 in January. So i get a lot of those looks like "oh, that poor irresponsible single mother"....
just cant let any of it phase ya!
I was Christmas shopping with DD last week, and was stopped by a woman commenting on how cute DD was. So, I popped DD's paci out and told her to say hi. Her mouth and paci were covered in her meds that she takes daily. (Prevacid, it dissolves in her mouth.) I had given it to her right before entering the store and she must not have swallowed it all. The woman gave me the dirtiest look and stomped away. I was fully expecting to get reported to CPS.
I discipline in public. I don't yell but I will correct you. If my child acts up in public or says something inappropriate then I will discipline right there while the action is fresh. It may be a tap on the hand, pop on the mouth, pop on the behind, all of which followed by discussion. This doesn't really happen much now, because DS2 is too young to misbehave and DS1 is a very mature teen that doesn't misbehave....due to earlier discipline in his childhood. I know I was judged for this and will be.
I look younger than I am, so I think when other people see me alone with DD (especially on the train in the morning) they think "oh, that poor young girl with that baby."
Also, last week in Target I had DD in the cart but I unstrapped her at some point while waiting in line. I forgot & went to the front of the cart to pay...when I turned around she was standing in the seat of the cart! The older man behind me was just shaking his head.
[color=#FF0000]Mom to 5 girls 23,22,18,9,7 and one sweet Wonderboy almost 4[/color]
The Chaos of Six!
Well it's hard because my family and community for some reason don't get the risks of feeding babies certain foods, so I am judged for being a tight a$$ and not letting him eat sweets.
I don't put shoes on him, but they don't fit his fat feet. So until I explain that I get the side eye for sure.
I got this from the cashier at Target one day. Except it was his shoes. He was wearing only socks and had kicked off his shoes. She said something like "Your piggies must be cold!" Seriously? We're in the store and his shoes are going on as soon as we leave.
Some of my family judge me for not getting DS baptised or raising him Catholic. They are accepting of our decision, but I know some of them are disappointed and sad about it.
Baby Boy #1 born 1/15/2010
Babies #2 & #3 arriving Spring 2014 (EDD June 18)
I think that we are more relaxed about certain things which freaks some of our friends out. If DS falls, I don't get up, because if I freak out, then he freaks out. If I don't react, then he keeps playing... unless he has actually hurt himself, then obviously we jump up.
We are also not germ-a-phobes. I don't Purell my hands every 30 seconds and the dog gives DS "kisses". The dog and DS are not left alone together and the dog has always been very protective of DS. I believe that he has to build up some tolerance, or he will be sick all the time.
Oh this all the way. Seriously if he falls and I know he isn't really hurt, I sit there and go "Uh oh, your ok!". My mother in law almost dies lol
I get this often. I look way younger than I am and if my hair is up, Oh man. Last month, I took my kids out to eat while DH had to work OT. One of the teacher helpers that worked at DS1 old Junior High School was working at the restaurant. She ran into DS1 and said, "I thought I knew you better than that. I can't believe you have a baby and with a Senior in High School." Of course my son was like, What?! That's my mom and little brother. The lady felt bad and was all explaining how young I look, yada, yada. I just laughed it off... It's funny how people jump to conclusions.
Oh yes, Every time I talk to a friend I haven't seen in a while. They always ask me if I'm still BF and for how long until I wean. They always say, you know he's almost 1year old. I don't want to see you BF when he's 2 or anything. Don't Worry About It! It's Not Your Concern!
This totally!! Dominic hates socks, and will rip them off in a second in the stores. The looks I get could kill me LOL
I could write a book.
I let DS watch yo gabba gabba once a day (sometimes more if he's sick/teething and fussy).
Yesterday it was 50 degrees and I forgot to put socks on my DS. I still ran errands with him in no socks.
This summer on our way home from the beach I brought him in stores in nothing but a diaper since his clothes were all sandy. Also, when the AC in my car died I always ran errands with him in nothing but a tshirt onesie or diaper. I wasnt about to put more clothes on him just to go in a store to grab something.
I'm definitely not going to win parent of the year. haha
This for me too. My original goal was 6months and I have been battling supply issues the whole time. Every single time we see the ILs - so when are you going to be done BF? "Oh how many things of formula is he drinking a day now" - making me feel inadequate. I guess I feel more judged because I have to supplement people wonder why I keep going. We only use about 2 oz of formula a day for him to drink so. I think it is also mommy guilt for feeling bad for not being able to keep up with Bryce's demands - but I learned and will make sure to not mess up my supply in the beginning with the next one.
Also - he will not keep mittens on - or a hat recently. So I wrap him in a blanket and tuck his hands in and carry him into to store or into where we are going. He doesn't like this either and half the time he flails out of the blanket too. A lot of the older people we see when we are coming in or leaving a store give me the side eye since he doesn't look like he is dressed properly.
This for me too (I'll be 26 in Feb). Also when people see how close my children are in age, they usually tell me I'm brave. This is usually followed by "do you want anymore?". I always reply yes because I do.. but not for some time. I've had people tell me I'm nuts. I even had one of my patients try to talk me into having my husband get a vasectomy. Unreal!!
This for me too (I'll be 26 in Feb). Also when people see how close my children are in age, they usually tell me I'm brave. This is usually followed by "do you want anymore?". I always reply yes because I do.. but not for some time. I've had people tell me I'm nuts. I even had one of my patients try to talk me into having my husband get a vasectomy. Unreal!!
This for me too (I'll be 26 in Feb). Also when people see how close my children are in age, they usually tell me I'm brave. This is usually followed by "do you want anymore?". I always reply yes because I do.. but not for some time. I've had people tell me I'm nuts. I even had one of my patients try to talk me into having my husband get a vasectomy. Unreal!!
DS rarely wears shoes because they are nearly impossible to get on his fat feet. Even though it's in the single digits here lately, I just bundle him up in warm clothes, hat and coat, but usually no shoes. We try mittens, but he takes them off instantly. I know people have glanced at his shoeless feet in the store, but the only time he's even exposed to the weather is the trip from the parking lot into a store. I think he'll live.
I know my sister in-in-law judges me for not allowing DS any sweets. Maybe it wouldn't seem so strange to her if she didn't allow her LOs to eat any darn thing they wanted any time they wanted. I swear the blood in their veins has been replaced by corn syrup. That includes the 1 year old.
I'm sure someone probably would judge me on the fact that the TV is almost always on. It's usually on public TV or Disney shows that somewhat interest DS. He doesn't sit and stare at the TV but does look up from his toys to see what's happening on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Seasame Street occassionally.
I know I get judged on my age--I am 24 but dress pretty casually and I am sure people think I am way younger than I am but oh well.
The big one for me is I get judged ALL.THE.TIME on DS's size. He has a genetic growth disorder and is really small (9 months- 12lbs, 23in). When people see us in public I've actually had people get in my face and be really rude about his age, size, etc. I've been called a liar (when asked how old he is), I've been told I must not be feeding him enough (despite the fact that his feeding is a HUGE struggle for us and he is in feeding therapy), I get judged that I let him sit in the cart and I dont cart him around in his carseat (he is 9months old and likes to sit on his own and look around just like other 9 month olds do-- I make sure to pad him so he fills the seat out and is buckled in). I get judged for not putting shoes on him when its cold (his feet dont even fit in newborn sized baby shoes--and they are different sizes b/c of his limb asymmetry...what am I supposed to do??). and we are TTC #2 and I know I will get TONS of strange looks being visibly pregnant with a baby that looks like a newborn haha
I have gotten much better about judging. I really honestly dont think I judge anymore b/c I realize that everyone has their own story. There are probably good reasons why a mom is doing xyz and unless I see a child being physically harmed I just assume the mom is doing the best she can. Even if I dont agree I feel more sympathy than anything for the mom and child. I realize how exhausting it can be and I know that there are many circumstances beyond our control that can make us appear to be doing the "wrong thing". Just my 2 cents!
TV for sure; it's on all the time (like PPs, background noise), mostly Disney or Signing Time on PBS.
BLW. My mom is totally freaked out and thinks C is going to choke on something. When I said, "yeah he gags sometimes. It's practice to move things from the back of his throat to the from of his mouth. He'll gag for a sec and keep going, he's fine," she about died. Idk what people think when we're in public and I give him a tree of broccoli and some chicken and let him go at it, lol.
I got married at 20, and got judged a lot for it. When I was 19 and engaged the first words out of everyone's mouth were, "are you pregnant?" when I said no it was, "well why are you getting married?" Umm... Because we're in love? That's not a good enough reason?
On the same note, I'm 22 and I look much younger than I am. When I was 8 months preg I had this old lady going on for 5 mins about how I didn't look any older than 16. My mom also looks young for her age so in public I'm sure people either assume C is hers or I'm a teenager living at home with my baby, lol.
I'm sure there's more, like C sleeping in our bed or CDs or NIP, but I don't mind :-)
I forgot about all of this too - my mom freaked out when I gave him a whole roll to nom on since she thought he was going to choke too. She just looks away now haha. My friend was commenting on how well he was eating a whole sweet potato fry too when she was with us. H was talking to one of his co-workers at work about BLW since he has a baby that is 6m older than Bryce - and the guy had no idea what he was talking about. I thought it was funny at H was trying to talk to him about it - but he looked at H like he was crazy too.
Bryce sleeps in our bed too when he won't go back to sleep. We CD and sometimes get the side eye about that - or the "oh..." I won't CIO despite everyone telling me that we need to instead of bringing him back to bed with us - he is still a baby so he still needs comfort.
What is BLW? I can usually figure these out, but not this one!
My MIL also judges me because there are certain clothes that DS wears that I iron. Not sweatpants or anything, there are just certian things that come out of the dryer and look all wrinkly. I wouldn't walk out of the house like that, why should he? But then she also judges me for ironing DH's dress shirts... and he wears a suit everyday...
I get judged on a ton. From DH's family, I am judged for CDing, BLW, Baby-wearing, Co-sleeping and the fact that I nursed her in the beginning. We had to quit because Lia had nursing aversions due to reflux and I had no supply when I pumped. My MIL told me she was so happy that we were finally feeding her right.
Weird because nursing feeds them too!
I also get judged because I'm only 20. When I was pregnant, even though I was wearing my wedding ring, people asked me when I was going to graduate high school.
M/C Dec 2010 - 5w5d Missing my sweet angel baby.
This totally, I get the "Your not still breastfeeding are you?" Insert incredulous look.
Oh and DS falls and looks at me for my reaction so DH and I just laugh or clap our hands. He will continue playing or start laughing too unless he really did get a bad bonk. Drives MIL nuts that I don't follow him around everywhere ready to catch him.
I think the most I get judged on is sleeping. Lo has a pacifier(Gasp!)
I don't make him CIO (Gasp!)
I feed him in the night if he wakes up (Gasp!)
I rock and sing him to sleep (Gasp!)
oh..I could go on. My family CIO at 2 weeks, YES 2 weeks and I had no idea what I was doing. Thankfully I found this site