3rd Trimester
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'So, you're definitely going to try for a third/girl .... right?'

I am generally a pretty easy-going pregnant woman.  I handle the 'you're getting SO big!' comments, and the belly pats pretty well I think compared to most.  

But fark on a stick if I am SO TIRED of people telling/asking me 'oh, so you'll definitely be trying for a girl next then?!' once they hear this baby is our second boy.  

ACTUALLY - we haven't fully decided that, but we're leaning towards NO.  But thank you, for bringing up a subject that makes me a little sad/guilty whenever I think about the fact that no, I probably won't even have a daughter.  You have just absolutely made my day.  Thank you.  

Effing jerks.   

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The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11

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Re: 'So, you're definitely going to try for a third/girl .... right?'

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    I'm sorry mama. I hate being pregnant for the 2nd time. I want to punch people in the face more than I did with my first. I swear, if one more person says that having kids 13 months apart is going to be difficult, I'm going to go postal. Really? Having 2 kids isn't easy? Thank you for your wonderful advice that I never would have known otherwise.

    I get the reverse of what you get-we have a boy, and are having a girl. I tell people that we're going to have a 3rd, and I hear that since I have a boy and a girl that I shouldn't have a 3rd child. That's great, since I wanted 3 kids no matter what the sex.

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    Oh, that would make me mad, too.  Besides the fact that it makes you sad, I think it's so rude to imply that two boys is less than ideal.
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    I understand completely.

    It feels like a lovely dagger to the chest considering if I do ever decide on trying for a third I'd face daily injections/high risk shiit and  long term bedrest again. I'm not sure I could do that to my family.  Thanks for bringing up the fact that not only may I never have a daughter, my body may not even let me. Effing jerks for sure!!!

     

     

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    Reason #2,423 I'm glad I'm team green.  I'm sure I'll get questions about #3 as soon as I deliver LO.
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    Jerks is right, sorry :^(

    I don't get why people think it's ok to say stuff like that. Before we knew we were having a boy this time people were constantly saying things like "oh are you crossing your fingers for a boy so you can be done?"  Um, gee NO! we're done either way  and we would be just has happy having two girls thanks. Just like if DD had been a boy, we'd be happy with two boys. You get what you get,they are your children and you love them regardless!  Now we keep getting the "oh now you can stop" comments, you can't win really.

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    imageKC_13:

    I'm sorry mama. I hate being pregnant for the 2nd time. I want to punch people in the face more than I did with my first. I swear, if one more person says that having kids 13 months apart is going to be difficult, I'm going to go postal. Really? Having 2 kids isn't easy? Thank you for your wonderful advice that I never would have known otherwise.

    I get the reverse of what you get-we have a boy, and are having a girl. I tell people that we're going to have a 3rd, and I hear that since I have a boy and a girl that I shouldn't have a 3rd child. That's great, since I wanted 3 kids no matter what the sex.

    I hear ya.  I just want to say to most, 'Is it okay if I get this one popped out first, before we decide on something as huge as whether or not we'd like to try for another one?  Or would you like for me to make up my mind right here and now with out speaking to my husband about it?'

    GAH. 

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    The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11

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    I understand how you feel about it and that it is probably irritating to hear, but it's just a normal question that people ask.  Most people assume that others want at least one child of each sex, so they naturally ask about it.  We get the same thing from people asking if we will try for #4 if this one is a boy or on the other end of te spectrum asking if we will be done if #3 is a girl.  It doesn't bother me because I understand they are just curious.  TO be honest, I have asked the same thing before to other people.
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    imageazuremama:
    Oh, that would make me mad, too.  Besides the fact that it makes you sad, I think it's so rude to imply that two boys is less than ideal.

    This as well.  Yes, I am a little disappointed we probably won't be having a daughter, but I am REALLY excited about having two boys.  Brothers are going to be SO MUCH FUN!  Why is that a bad thing?  

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    The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11

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    I honestly can't believe the nerve of some people. Why must everyone assume that all women only want girls and are disappointed with having sons? I know so many women that are not only content with their all-boy clan, but didn't really want girls.

    On a side note, I got royally pissed everytime someone would say "Oh, now you have one of each, so you're done, right?" Even my friggin' mom said this to me! (A) it is none of your business, and (B) just because we have "one of each" does not mean we feel "complete" as a family.

    People need to stop with their dumb arse assumptions!

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    image~adamwife~:
    I understand how you feel about it and that it is probably irritating to hear, but it's just a normal question that people ask.  Most people assume that others want at least one child of each sex, so they naturally ask about it.  We get the same thing from people asking if we will try for #4 if this one is a boy or on the other end of te spectrum asking if we will be done if #3 is a girl.  It doesn't bother me because I understand they are just curious.  TO be honest, I have asked the same thing before to other people.

    Yes, I understand WHY they ask, but that doesn't mean that they SHOULD.  I just got a lot of this question this past weekend and it's starting to wear on me.   

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    The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11

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    Geez! Ive been getting the other end of the spectrum on these kinds of comments, which Im finding rude too!

    My 2yo is a little girl and Im expecting a boy this time around. EVERYONE asks if we're done now that we'll have one of each. "Umm... No. I want a bunch." Then theyll go on this long tangent about how 2 is perfect and since Ill have one of each I should stop there, Trust them. SOOOO annoying! Like people think they can dictate how many children I want to have. :P

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    imageMrsTotty:

    image~adamwife~:
    I understand how you feel about it and that it is probably irritating to hear, but it's just a normal question that people ask.  Most people assume that others want at least one child of each sex, so they naturally ask about it.  We get the same thing from people asking if we will try for #4 if this one is a boy or on the other end of te spectrum asking if we will be done if #3 is a girl.  It doesn't bother me because I understand they are just curious.  TO be honest, I have asked the same thing before to other people.

    Yes, I understand WHY they ask, but that doesn't mean that they SHOULD.  I just got a lot of this question this past weekend and it's starting to wear on me.   

    I know.  If this were my last baby and I was getting asked that type of question I probably would be irritated.  I usually get upset about the opposite question when people assume we will be done if this one is a girl.  When I say that we plan to have a large family and they react by looking at us like we are insane it makes me upset.  I get a lot of the "You're pregnant again?!  Don't you know what's causing this?" questions and I find those rude.  It makes me feel like I'll have to hide our next pregnancy if it happens quickly after this one, because people judge us for having so many kids so close in age.

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    I would start slinging it back at them.  There's only so much grin and bearing it I can take before I start questioning their thought process.
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    image~adamwife~:

    I know.  If this were my last baby and I was getting asked that type of question I probably would be irritated.  I usually get upset about the opposite question when people assume we will be done if this one is a girl.  When I say that we plan to have a large family and they react by looking at us like we are insane it makes me upset.  I get a lot of the "You're pregnant again?!  Don't you know what's causing this?" questions and I find those rude.  It makes me feel like I'll have to hide our next pregnancy if it happens quickly after this one, because people judge us for having so many kids so close in age.

    Yes, okay this would piss me off as well.  Like I said, I REALLY do try to take the invasive questions/comments with a grain of salt ... but this one kind of stings ... especially when you hear it like 8 times in one afternoon.  I'm sure you feel the same way about that specific query.  People are dumb.  

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    The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11

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    image~adamwife~:
    imageMrsTotty:

    image~adamwife~:
    I understand how you feel about it and that it is probably irritating to hear, but it's just a normal question that people ask.  Most people assume that others want at least one child of each sex, so they naturally ask about it.  We get the same thing from people asking if we will try for #4 if this one is a boy or on the other end of te spectrum asking if we will be done if #3 is a girl.  It doesn't bother me because I understand they are just curious.  TO be honest, I have asked the same thing before to other people.

    Yes, I understand WHY they ask, but that doesn't mean that they SHOULD.  I just got a lot of this question this past weekend and it's starting to wear on me.   

    I know.  If this were my last baby and I was getting asked that type of question I probably would be irritated.  I usually get upset about the opposite question when people assume we will be done if this one is a girl.  When I say that we plan to have a large family and they react by looking at us like we are insane it makes me upset.  I get a lot of the "You're pregnant again?!  Don't you know what's causing this?" questions and I find those rude.  It makes me feel like I'll have to hide our next pregnancy if it happens quickly after this one, because people judge us for having so many kids so close in age.

    This pisses me off so much! We've had several of these comments. My kids are all exactly 2 years apart, so yeah, not only do I know what causes this, I DID IT ON PURPOSE!!

    The other comment that really gets to me started as soon as we had our second... "Well now that you have one of each there's no point in having more, they only come in two kinds." Indifferent

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    image~adamwife~:
    imageMrsTotty:

    image~adamwife~:
    I understand how you feel about it and that it is probably irritating to hear, but it's just a normal question that people ask.  Most people assume that others want at least one child of each sex, so they naturally ask about it.  We get the same thing from people asking if we will try for #4 if this one is a boy or on the other end of te spectrum asking if we will be done if #3 is a girl.  It doesn't bother me because I understand they are just curious.  TO be honest, I have asked the same thing before to other people.

    Yes, I understand WHY they ask, but that doesn't mean that they SHOULD.  I just got a lot of this question this past weekend and it's starting to wear on me.   

    I know.  If this were my last baby and I was getting asked that type of question I probably would be irritated.  I usually get upset about the opposite question when people assume we will be done if this one is a girl.  When I say that we plan to have a large family and they react by looking at us like we are insane it makes me upset.  I get a lot of the "You're pregnant again?!  Don't you know what's causing this?" questions and I find those rude.  It makes me feel like I'll have to hide our next pregnancy if it happens quickly after this one, because people judge us for having so many kids so close in age.

    This pisses me off so much! We've had several of these comments. My kids are all exactly 2 years apart, so yeah, not only do I know what causes this, I DID IT ON PURPOSE!!

    The other comment that really gets to me started as soon as we had our second... "Well now that you have one of each there's no point in having more, they only come in two kinds." Indifferent

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    People are aholes... Im getting the "well at least you got your girl" response when I tell them this ones a boy

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    I hear you!

    Before I knew I was having a girl I kept getting those comments. Now that I know I'm having a girl everyone points out how perfect it is. I would have thought 2 boys would have been just as perfect, but I guess not.

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    You know, I never knew how weird it was to assume parents wanted at least one child of each sex until I started thinking about getting pregnant again. I would talk about whether I wanted a boy or a girl with my husband, and I realized, I really don't care. I had always thought I wanted one of each, but to be honest with you, I would love to have two little girls just as much as I would love to have a girl and a boy. Or three girls! I think that is the driving factor behind not wanting to find out what I am having this time, because I honestly have no preference.
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    Yuck, I'm sorry. Some people just don't think things through before they ask certain things.
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    I get a variation on this. When people find out I'm pregnant with my third, they want to know, "are you hoping this one is a girl?"

    Um, actually, I'm hoping this one is a healthy, full term child who has zero complications and goes home with me from the hospital. Thanks.

    But I think it's part of normal human curiosity. Nothing like having a huge belly to announce to the world that you've had sex.

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    Then, when you DO get a baby of the other sex (I have 2 girls and a boy on the way) you get, "Well you finally got your boy/girl."  Yes, we just keep trying and trying to get a boy.  Like we have control over God or something.

     

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    My husband and I are expecting our first (a girl) and although we haven't gotten many comments from strangers my MIL is making me crazy.  It only took her about a week after we announced we were pregnant for her to start making comments about baby #2.  Umm, hello would it be ok if I gave birth to this one first?  It really made her day when we announced it's going to be a girl which she followed up with "maybe the next one will be a boy".  If that wasn't enough over Thanksgiving she told me "she's soooo disappointed we're not having a boy".  I'm tired of telling her she better enjoy this one because I don't think we'll be having another (one is all we ever really wanted),     
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    We are expecting our 3rd boy and we get a ton of questions. Are you sad? Are you disappointed? Will you try for a girl? Did you really want a girl? Was this planned?

    Considering my best friend has a baby (girl) with cystic fibrosis and my mom had a still born baby boy when I was 7, I am just thrilled that my boys have been healthy so far! Hoping for another healthy baby and we love HIM!!!! (Now I won't lie that naming a girl would have been super easy for us AND I'm itching to buy some girly clothes but it is what it is, lol.)

    I get that people are curious or that they think the 'perfect' family is one of each. But it does get old and it is rude to quiz someone about their family planning. I feel so happy and blessed to have my family the way that it is! I try to answer nicely but sometimes it does irritate me. So yeah, I feel your pain:)

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    imagejenerally?:

    But I think it's part of normal human curiosity. Nothing like having a huge belly to announce to the world that you've had sex.

    This is SO true.  And I am SO guilty of it.  Whenever people I know announce their pregnancy thats the first thing I think of ... the two of them gettin' it on to conceive a child.  lol.   

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    The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11

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    I'm having  my 2nd and last child- both boys.  I just had an ultrasound tech say to me "so did you ask your husband why he didn't give you a girl?"  WTF!  I don't know if it's my hormones but I though that was really rude!!!
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    I get this, but for a boy, ALL the time. Especially from DH's side of the family. They all REALLY wanted this to be a boy. (my small preference was actually for a girl, so, I don't care either way.) I have no problem with 2 daughters, and sure, a son would be nice, but I'm not going to have a 3rd child solely to please your desire for a grandson. If we choose to have a 3rd, it will be based on us, not them. And, if it's a girl, we'll be just as happy with 3 daughters.

    People. Are. Annoying.

    Chelsea; 7/22/2005 Carissa; 4/9/2011 Cassidy; 9/6/2012
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    I've decided some people just say stupid stuff. When I found out I was having my 2nd boy I heard the same B.S. Now that we're expecting #3 and it's a girl, I keep hearing that I can't possibly stop at 3 kids and that I must have 4. Say what? I didn't know there were rules that we must have children in even numbers!

    I'm also tired of people saying "Oh you're getting your girl!" I've never once said I wanted a girl. I've always just hoped for health babies and would have been just as thrilled if this one was a boy. I find it strange some people think because I am a girl I must have some secret wish to have a girl.

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