People Touching LO while BWing (vent)

Ananke

Why do people insist on touching DS when he's being worn?  I understand that I live in a place where BWing (especially wraps and slings) is rare, but stop touching my baby!  I always get lots of comments and looks when I'm in town (mostly good, but definitely some not so good ones too), and recently, especially in places like coffee shops and grocery stores where there are lines, I get women patting him or rubbing him on the back, trying to hold his little hands, putting their hands on his head, touching his nose, etc.

 I would have thought that I would have gotten less touching than normal while wearing DS - I get more people touching us now than when I was pregnant!  People never touch DS if he's in the car seat or stroller (could be because it's so rare, but still).  It doesn't help that DS is so incredibly social and smiles and 'talks' to everyone he passes.  Why does he have to be so darn cute!?!

Does anyone else have this issue?  What do you do?  I just kind of turn or back away, but sometimes people still don't get the hint.  I'm starting to avoid people, especially women, because of it, but I hate doing that, because I want to promote BWing too! 

Uiowachick01

We got that when Ovi was small.  I asked people to not touch him.  

I have honestly never felt the need to touch a strangers small child.  

It was an old lady touching thing with Ovi.

KateLouise

LOTS of people have conversations with LO when I'm wearing her. I think it's because she's at their eye level and so she's really accessible to them.

the fact that they get right into my adult space seems to pass them by.

No one's gotten super touchy with her. maybe just tickling her feet, or holding a hand.

Maybe that's a cultural thing as I'm in NZ.

It doesn't really bother me so much unless they're clearly sick, which I've never had. I like her getting the extra social interaction.

princessjenney

I see you are in Texas and I grew up in San Antonio. Where I grew up, it's like a cultural superstitious thing that if you see a cute baby and stare but don't touch, it can be bad luck on the baby. I'm not saying I think that's true but it might explain why it's happening.

anabell0920

princessjenney:

I see you are in Texas and I grew up in San Antonio. Where I grew up, it's like a cultural superstitious thing that if you see a cute baby and stare but don't touch, it can be bad luck on the baby. I'm not saying I think that's true but it might explain why it's happening.

I grew up in Corpus Christi, TX and have never heard that before lol. OP- I was waiting for my mom to grab the car at hobby lobby since it was cold outside and Dylan was asleep in my Kinderpack and I had the hood up over his face. She walks up and says is that a baby under there? I said yes hes sleeping so ahe gets closer and grabs the side of the hood and tried moving it! First don't touch near his face and second he's SLEEPING. I backed away and said he's sleeping and she just looked at me then walked away. I don't like people touching him either.

cstyles

I have recently started only wearing LO one out instead of putting him in his carrier.  Now EVERYONE it seems wants to touch his hands (which pretty much stay in his mouth).  I'm as far from a germ a phob as it comes, but it grosses me out.  I would rather people touch his feet or the top of his head, or somewhere that is not going to go in his mouth in 5 seconds. 

This past weekend, this lady would not let go of his hand.  She just stood there talking to him forever, I finally had to fake the "i think I hear my husband".  Sometimes I wish i could be a little more straight forward, but I also want to leave ppl with a positive impression of baby wearing.  I do get a lot of weird looks too. 

Allie30

THe one time this really bugged me is when a woman with a cigarette in her hand came up and started touching her -- cigarette dangling inches from her face. She was only a few weeks old. I had no idea what to do but I wish I'd said something!

zomgpmngl

I haven't had a lot of people try to touch him while BWing, but he's always in the ergo or moby with his arms tucked in. I have experienced the invasion of personal space though! Some people want to get up in his face to talk to him, totally disregarding the fact that they are also inches from my face... so annoying! Luckily, most people keep a safe distance. I have to say that during cold and flu season if a stranger tried to touch his hands (which he sucks on ALL day) they might draw back a nub! I'm not too polite to let my kid get sick and make us all miserable for a week. I would say something about that, but probably let a foot grab or head rub go as long as the person didn't look sick.

I have no idea why people feel the need to touch a stranger's baby, I would NEVER walk up and touch an infant I didn't know! People can be so strange...

carolineh

I have no idea why people feel the need to touch a stranger's baby, I would NEVER walk up and touch an infant I didn't know! People can be so strange...

Wow, I stumbled on this board by accident and had no idea that parents felt this way.  I would think it was strange if someone did not speak to or touch my babies.  I totally get the cigarette lady obviously, but I can't imagine going through life like that.  I want my children to know that the world is a loving place and come from the whole 'it takes a village' mentality, so attention from strangers is something I appreciate and encourage.

I will start asking the Mom before I speak to a baby, thanks for the heads up.

 

anabell0920

carolineh:

I have no idea why people feel the need to touch a stranger's baby, I would NEVER walk up and touch an infant I didn't know! People can be so strange...

Wow, I stumbled on this board by accident and had no idea that parents felt this way.  I would think it was strange if someone did not speak to or touch my babies.  I totally get the cigarette lady obviously, but I can't imagine going through life like that.  I want my children to know that the world is a loving place and come from the whole 'it takes a village' mentality, so attention from strangers is something I appreciate and encourage.

I will start asking the Mom before I speak to a baby, thanks for the heads up.

 

I don't have a problem with people looking or talking to Dylan at all. But when they are touching his hands or face and I don't know what they have touched, if they wash their hands or are sick then yes that bothers me. My example was someone was trying to uncover Dylan while he was sleeping on me and no I don't think that is necessary I mean he was sleeping and it took me awhile to get him that way. I think there are limits on what's appropriate just like what's appropriate for adults space.

someflower6

carolineh:

I have no idea why people feel the need to touch a stranger's baby, I would NEVER walk up and touch an infant I didn't know! People can be so strange...

Wow, I stumbled on this board by accident and had no idea that parents felt this way.  I would think it was strange if someone did not speak to or touch my babies.  I totally get the cigarette lady obviously, but I can't imagine going through life like that.  I want my children to know that the world is a loving place and come from the whole 'it takes a village' mentality, so attention from strangers is something I appreciate and encourage.

I will start asking the Mom before I speak to a baby, thanks for the heads up.

 

are you being serious? i don't recall anyone saying they thought it was weird that people talked to their babies. it's the touching thing. there is a big difference between talking and touching. people talk to me all the time, but they don't touch me. i'd assume the same with my baby. i love it when people talk to her. and personally, i don't even mind when people touch her on her feet or arms if they're covered. but in general, i think people need their personal space. adults generally recognize and respect this amongst each other. babies need personal space too. it's just often ignored because they're so darn cute!