will you pay for college?

mrs.n22

I was thinking about this, and growing up, I had friends whose parents would not pay for college for their children.  They told them to get a loan, or work to pay for it, or figure out another option.  These are also parents who were well off, or could afford it. Because of this I have friends who have no college degrees or ones that are in HUGE debt from college loans. 

I think if you are making the decision to have children,  and you have the money for it, it is your responsibility to pay for college for your child. 

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Liss_37

I don't think it's entirely a parents responsibility to pay for college for their child. I also don't think they should pay zero of the expenses either. if they can contribute, they should. if they can't, they can't. 

We've already started a Registered Education Savings Plan for DS. the govt will match each dollar we put into it up to a certain amount. So far about $700 has been added into the plan from us and other family members. We've told everyone if they want to give him money, they might want to consider adding it there.

 

twoasone1

My Mom didn't help me or my sisters with college. We managed to get through and yes we have debt, but I don't think that it was my Moms responsibility to pay for it. 

With that said, I think that if you can afford to help out your kids with college then thats great.  We will help Will with his.  But, I also think that they should have a part time job to pay for part of it.  I don't think we owe it to him though.

ljlkm

I have no opinion on whether anyone else should or should not pay for their child's college. For me, it is of the utmost importance that DS goes to college and, therefore, I will do everything in my power to make sure that happens--up to and including paying for it.

vab1216

I defnitely will pay for it, or if there is some other type of schooling my child wants to go to. I want to be involved in where they go, what they major in, etc. I have a few friends who majored in CRAP and aren't using their degrees and work making $8 an hour and are paying off student loans... or they are atleast trying to..It's ridiculous. My parents paid for mine and I am so grateful for that and the fact that I don't have student loans.

Jocelyn0415

Will I pay for Evie to go to school? Absolutely. IF I have the money and she is getting good grades.

Do I think it's my responsibility? Um no. My parents paid for my brother to go to school and all he did was screw around the whole time. It was only $20k later that they decided to stop paying.

They didn't pay for my college and it taught me responsibility. I didn't take it for granted. Since I was paying for it, I made sure I got good grades and took it seriously. 

I feel like this generation of kids has this sense of entitlement. Where did that come from? 

mrs.n22

lisswastaken:

I don't think it's entirely a parents responsibility to pay for college for their child. I also don't think they should pay zero of the expenses either. if they can contribute, they should. if they can't, they can't. 

We've already started a Registered Education Savings Plan for DS. the govt will match each dollar we put into it up to a certain amount. So far about $700 has been added into the plan from us and other family members. We've told everyone if they want to give him money, they might want to consider adding it there.

 

 I should have worded it better.  I didn't mean all.  I meant to just pay for some.  These parents paid zero, and they have money.

My parents also made me work in the summer.

DEBBIE33CASEY

My parents paid for my education. DH's parents didn't pay a dime on his. We pay $500 in his student loans a month (for his undergrad and masters).  It's hard b/c I hate paying that bill, but at the same time he's actively using his degree and supporting our family.  The fact that I have my degree was partially why I got the job I have now, but it's not required to have a degree to do my job.  I can't help but wonder if I had paid for my education that I would be more active in my career.  But I've chosen to let DH do the career thing and I will do the baby thing. Once the kids are grown I will focus a little more on my career. 
After saying all of that I'm still torn about what we'll do for DD.  But with that being said we're not "well off" at this point.  Maybe it's b/c we're paying all those student loans. LOL.

FerreraRocher

Yes we will pay for it.

Scooter359

SO constantly mentions the GI bill. Or the bright futures scholarship. We will help, but not give a free ride. (this gets especially difficult because SO has other children to provide for as well) If he wants to stay in dorms he has to pay for that, or split an apartment with friends, but the option of staying home for free will be there. If he needs help with books,food,some classes then of course, but I hate seeing so many kids on free rides abusing their time and milking their parents dry. I think if he works for it and wants to be there it will pay off much better then us sending him off. but I won't let him go into serious debt. I still see college as a privilege not a necessity.

rebus82

To a degree, yes.

I think parents with the means should pay for their children's education, provided the children actually do the work and get the grades, not just use it as an excuse to party for four years. In today's society, unless you are well connected, a Bachelor's might as well be a high school diploma for all it's worth in the job market. 

My parents paid for my college, and I did very well. DH had to join the Army, where he was promised his loans would be repaid - they never were. The government basically told him to fvck off, after eight years and a trip to the Sandbox. We now have $20K in unsubsidized loans eating away at our finances because the Army broke their contract and you can't sue the government. I will NOT let my son end up in the same position. I know there are plenty of people who do have their loans repaid, but there are plenty of people who are in the same situation as DH. 

Lucky428

We are working toward being able to pay for his (or their?) college.  My parents paid for my education and it was so nice graduating without any loans.

ETA:  There were conditions.  You don't have to have a job your freshman year, but you do the rest of college and if you fail a grade, you had to pay my parents back.   I thought those were pretty good rules.

Cityplanner

I don't think it's a parents responsibility.  And, in fact, I think having to consider the bill helps focus kids on whether they want to go to college, where and what they'll be doing afterwards.   I've known too many people who drifted into college and through college because it was a free ride, and then were hit smack in the face with the real world, and bills and found themselves with an overpriced education that didn't qualify themselves for any jobs. 

If we're in a position to do so, we'll help our kids with college.  If we're in a position when they're done college, we'll help them pay off their loans.  But, our priority for saving is to make sure we keep a roof over their head and food on the table and have ourselves set for retirement. 

AutumnBride929

We will help our kids apply for student loans and whatever is left to be paid, we will pay it.  We will also pay off the loans unless they make a C or less in the class... then they will have to pay that portion.  I think that's decently fair.

ETA:  Wait, no.  I think it was, we would pay the remainder of tuition, housing, whatever after student loans have been exhausted and then our kids' responsibility would be to pay off the loans themselves but if they made an A in the class, we would pay that portion.  I think that's how it went, lol.  It was DH's idea that he mentioned one time and I remember liking the way it worked.

And overall, no, I don't think it SHOULD be the parents' responsibility to pay for their kids' college education but it would certainly be a nice parental gesture if they can afford it.

gumiberg

we already started saving for their college so yes, we intend to pay. however, i dont intend on telling them that - i want them to work for it and go for scholarships and save money for it, too. they will obviously know that we have saved up some money for them but they wont know how much.

robynlesley

My parents put me through college.  I did get a loan my last year because my brother is in college too. DH's parents put him through college.

We would LIKE to put DS through college but, honestly, with the cost of tuition, we may not be able to.

However, I will help in any way I can, if I cannot pay in full and we need to take loans.

uofibabe

I felt like I had no other option but to go to college if I didnt want to work retail my entire life and live at home so I went to college.  My parents paid half and I paid half (with student loans).  I worked each summer to make money to pay for my books and other extra things I wanted to do.  DH's parents didnt help DH at all with school expenses but yet wanted to pay for an open bar at our wedding - really!?!?!?  WTF?!!?   So we have 40K in studnet loans for DH and 20K for me .....Im the breadwinner at this point...sorry for the rambling......yes I want to do what I can to help Clark go to college like my parents did but he also has to put in the work and take on the responsibility as well. 

CalinsBride

No, I don't think its the parent's responsibility. The kid is now an adult, and if they want to go to college, they can find the means to pay for it.

That said, DH and I have started a college fund for DS, and will have enough saved up to pay for four years tuition. That does NOT mean that we believe that its our responsibility. It's just something that we want to do for him. However, we won't just be handing over the money. DS will have to keep his grades up in order for us to continue to pay for it. We aren't giving him money for college so that he can take it for granted and party the whole time.

Lizard2022

I had to pay my own way through college.  I survived and did better then most of my friends who parents paid because they screwed around and didn't care that failing classes meant wasting their parents money.  I got a scholarship paying my full tuition and only got loans for books/room and board.  We aren't planning on having a college fund for DS.  Right now we don't have much money left over to save and honestly investing for retirement is more important to us.  DS can find other ways to pay for college, we know we will need retirement money.

Student loans are usually low interest loans, easy to defer and there are grants out there too.  I think DS will be smart enough to figure out a way to go to college on his own.

etude de la vie

We will pay for all school costs including books but living expenses will probably be student loans/grants/scholarships. 

We also plan to pay for private school for all of our kids.

My parents believed education is the most important gift and I want my kids to know that we will do whatever it takes to give them that gift. My parents didn't care if you go to college when you were 18 or decided to go back when you are 40  for another or additional degree they will always pay for education!  

blushingbrideoct07

We plan on paying for our children's college. 

LSU628

My parents told my sister and me that as long as we got a scholarship, we could go to college wherever we wanted. I plan on doing the same thing with our children. My parents and my grandmother had set aside money that covered my dorm and books,but my scholarship paid my tuition. I did have to take out loans for my masters. It made me work hard in high school, as well as in college b/c I had to keep my GPA up in order to keep my scholarship.

sunnyday016

We will pay for as much of her college education as we can (ditto for any other kids we have). My parents were able to pay for both my sister and I to go to school without any loans, and we were both so incredibly grateful to not have the burdens of loans on us when we started our adult lives. I want the same for DD-to be able to graduate debt-free. Neither my sis nor I ever took advantage of the fact that our parents were paying our way, we worked hard and got good grades because we wanted to make the most of our parents' gift of education to us. Partying and not working hard would have been a slap in the face to them. We were both on academic and athletic scholarships too.

I don't think it's a parent's "responsibility" per say, but I do think it's kind of crappy to saddle your child with debt if you have the means to pay for their education. Of course, how much I'll pay (if at all) depends on my kids' work ethic, character, etc. I'm not paying for her to spend 4 years partying or aimlessly taking classes if she has no idea what she wants to do with her life. 

jojoh1008

DH and I have a difference of opinion on this. DH thinks that it is entirely our responsibility to get LO through collage no matter how long it takes. I, on the other hand, think that LO should try his hardest to do well academically, athletically, and/or musically to get some kind of scholarship(s) for his achievements. If he has to move to whatever collage he chooses we will pay for the things he needs. Anything else is his responsibility. Either way, he will receive financial support from us, we just haven't decided how much.

DH and I put ourselves through school with whatever our parents could help us with. We still both have debt, but b/c we were foolish at that time. I don't plan on becoming financial strained b/c my child is lazy and wants to goof around.

deltagirl79

My dad paid for my college and I consider myself lucky and thankful. I did not skate through, or waste time/money. I always knew I was lucky and I worked hard because of it. We pay a lot each month for DH's undergrad & grad school loans, his parents did not help him at all with school. But they have been generous in other things which helps.

I am planning and would like to help if not pay for my kid(s) to go to college, but I fully belive that saving for our (DH & I) retirement comes first. You can take out a loan for college, you can't take out a loan for retirement.

July_2009

YES, 100%. Not paying is not even an option. 

jbl126

DH and I will do what we can to help pay for college.  Though I am sure they will still have to take out loans.  I have yet to start a college fund for them but that is definitely on my list of things to do in the coming year.

ZTACRYSTAL

My parents paid for college (and my living expenses) and I was expected to maintain my grades and a part time job. I will do the same thing for DD. I want her to come out of college with a clean slate. If she chooses to not hold up her end of the deal though, we are not paying for a 4 year party.

MrsHughesNC

My parents paid for my college, and I will pay for my children's. But I will encourage them to look scholarships and grants a lot more than mine encouraged me. I appreciate them paying for it, but know I could have found something if I'd felt I needed to look.

aglenn

I would really like to pay 100% for DD (and any future siblings) so that they could start their careers debt-free.  My mom paid for my college and it made a huge difference to not have those loans.  However, at the rate tuition is increasing, I almost choked when I looked at the projected cost by the time DD is in college.  DH and I both work full time and make decent money, but I have no idea how we'll save THAT much, especially if we have a second kid.  We'll do what we can to help out, though.

aliciamariel

I'm torn on this one. My parents planned to help us through college, but we ended up getting a state-sponsored scholarship.  I worked my a$$ off to make sure I qualified for it and then kept it through college. The scholarship covered tuition and books, but my parents paid for the rest (housing, food, and activities). 

I appreciate my education because I worked for it.  I also appreciate not being in debt because my parents' help allowed me to not have to take out loans.

We are saving for college for DS, but what we contribute is from what is left after our personal retirement investing is done.  I'm not going to risk not having a secure future so that DS can go to college. 

Even if everything goes wrong, DS can work through college or get a loan.  DH and I can't take out a loan to cover our retirement, though.  What we save now is all we'll have later (except for odd jobs here or there).

monkeyqueen

Our #'s 1&2 priorities in regards to saving money right now is for our retirements and emergency savings account.   #3 is for the kids' education.    I do not expect to pay for the entire amount (or even half) of my children's post-secondary education.     If they choose to go to University/College/Technical course/etc., they will have whatever we have saved in their accounts (which includes $$ gifts that they have received, money that they have earned themselves, money we put in, etc.), the possiblity of getting a loan (which we will help them with), the possibility of applying for bursaries/scholarships, and the possibility of working part-time/in the summers/etc., to fund their schooling.

They will be adults by then and will be responsible for their own futures, which also means treating money responsibly.    We will certainly help, but we will not 'break the bank' to do.   

wellfleet04

If things continue as they are, then yes, we will pay because we will have the money to do so.  But if we didn't have the money, or had to sacrifice our own retirement savings, no, I would not pay for college and no I would not feel guilty about it. 

DH and I both went to the same expensive private college.  His parents paid, mine didn't.  I had loans, and a job. It was fine.  They paid some, but they did not take out their own loans (nor did I expect them to).  We BOTH valued our educations and worked hard.  Actually, he probably worked harder than I did.  I think it's bunk to say that kids who have college paid for don't work hard, or value their education as much, as those who don't.  It depends on the KID, not the money.

So, yes, we will pay for undergrad.  Any grad school they want to go on to is their responsibility.  DH went to business school and we are still paying for it because he felt like he was 26 when he went and his parents should not have been paying for stuff any longer.  His brother went to medical school and his parents paid.  I still think we made the right decision to pay for DH's graduate education ourselves--it was our responsibility.

SeasideBride06

We have a 529 plan for DD, but I do not want her to know about it.  I worked hard in high school to earn scholarships, and was able to at least have my freshman year paid for.  I want her to work hard as well.

My parents paid for my undergrad (I did work summers), but I paid for my masters.   I feel like I took both of them seriously.  Let me also say that my parents made it very clear that I better do well, or they were going to yank me home!

On the other hand, DH's family did not help him AT ALL.  He worked full-time and went to school at night.  He had no relationships in college and it was almost like another job.  I definitely don't want our kids to have that type of experience, because I loved college and DH doesn't feel that way.

rainlily

My parents helped with undergrad (paid all tuition).  I bought books, paid for an apartment, expenses.  It was fine.  DH got no help from his parents.  Both DH and I took out loans (over $200,000) for med school and dental school.  We will pay for DD's undergrad degree and pay as much as we can for graduate school, if she chooses to go.  If we don't have the money to pay for grad school, we will help her with her loan payments once she is out. 

emmared1986

I will probably do what my mom did - help out when I can. If I can't afford to pay for a semester I wont but if I have extra money I will gladly help.

I have worked since I was 13 and worked a full and part time job through college. I am almost done, and paying for myself now. DH's parents had the money to help him but didn't. He quit after a semester.

That being said, I will encourage my kids to go to comm. college for the first two years, and help them apply for financial aide and scholarships. And teach them how to buy used books lol.

JandR07

Do I think that a parent HAS to pay for their kids to go to college?  NO

Will we be paying for DD and any future children to go to college?  yes.

DD already has a savings acct that will be used to pay for it. I know that I am where I am today in my life and DH for that matter b/c our educations were paid for by our parents. Yes we are very fortunate that our parents could do this and I plan to do the same for my children. 

JosieH

DH and I subscribe to the "you can borrow for college, but you can't borrow for retirement" theory.  We had DH when I was 39.  That's affected our perspective somewhat because he's going to be young when we hit retirement age and still young when we start to get sick as most elderly people do.   We see investing in our 401Ks as a way to relieve him of the financial burden of caring for us and we both give the maximum % into our accounts yearly.  With that being said, we also have a 529 account as does his godmother where we set aside money for him to go to college.  We also put all of our bonus money and raise money into it if we get any.  So we're doing everything that we can for both him and us.  We'll also counsel him about college debt and the value of an education vs. the money you pay for a college brand.

Sweets2005

I'm sure I will still be paying off my OWN loans by the time my kids go to college. I hope I can but I HIGHLY doubt I can afford three entire tuitions. (

LeahBeah1212

FI and I have a difference of opinions of this one.

He did not go to college.  I don't believe his parents offered to help him with going at all.  He got a job in construction and was making great money until the economy took a crap.  All he sees are the kids who are spoiled and don't even use their education.  He thinks if DD wants to go to college she can work and pay for it.  He said he wouldn't mind helping a little bit.

I went to college and my parents and I both got loans for it.  I also worked almost full time and paid for my apt., groceries, car, etc. while in school.  I did not have a walk in the park and I think that it taught me responsibility.

I don't think it is the parent's responsibility to pay for everything no matter what.  My kid needs to be well behaved, get good grades, and have a career plan.  I'm not going to waste my money if she just wants to party for 4 years.

rubyshoes7

mrs.n22:

I was thinking about this, and growing up, I had friends whose parents would not pay for college for their children.  They told them to get a loan, or work to pay for it, or figure out another option.  These are also parents who were well off, or could afford it. Because of this I have friends who have no college degrees or ones that are in HUGE debt from college loans. 

I think if you are making the decision to have children,  and you have the money for it, it is your responsibility to pay for college for your child. 

Am I the only one who feels this way?

 I started out having my dad and stepmom tell me they were going to pay for college. They have been divorcing since my junior year of college and, surprise surprise, when I graduated they said, "Here you go! Have 20,000 dollars in debt". I know it could be a lot worse, and yes I am bitter. What I have learned is that I am proud to say that I am basically paying for my own education, but that had they told me upfront I would be helping to pay for it, I would have reconsidered my options, i.e. not leaving home for school, etc.

My kids are probably going to pay for something, even if it's just their rent, car payment, cell phone bill, or groceries. IMO, you appreciate things more when they are your own responsibility. That's coming from a girl who has had most everything paid for her up until recently. < /2 cents >