I was wondering if someone could help me...

LEON

I have a very close friend who just lost her twins yesterday she was 6.5 months pregnant.  We are all devastated to say the least, she has one other child who is 1.5 years old and went thru years of struggle just to have him.

So my question is what can I do for them?  I am not sending anything becuase I just think its innapropriate for something like this?

I took their son last night for a while until we figured out what to do with him for the next couple of days since she will be in the hospital etc.

For the first time in my life I am at a loss, I want to help so badly but I don't know how?

I thought maybe you ladies could help was there anything that helped you through your tough times?

Thank you so much

Copswife05

That's very sweet of you to help them out. The biggest help for us after we were released from the hospital was people bringing us meals. For a week we had a friend stop by each night with dinner already prepared or take out. We couldn't even function to put a casserole in the oven so this was mighty helpful. I don't think we would have eaten otherwise. Also they may need help with their son and babysitting would probably be a huge help. My prayers go out to the family.

Copswife05

Also in the coming months little things like remembering their due date with a card is thoughtful. Just so they know people are thinking about them. If they have not given birth yet, you might help them get in touch with a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer. If I remember correctly the website is www.NILMDTS.org

LEON

Thank you..this is a great idea I am sure the last thing they will think about is cooking/eating.

We pretty much have care for her son covered for the next 4-5 days but maybe when they come home I can offer to take him so they can rest.

Thanks again I really appreciate the help.

LEON

Copswife05:

Also in the coming months little things like remembering their due date with a card is thoughtful. Just so they know people are thinking about them. If they have not given birth yet, you might help them get in touch with a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer. If I remember correctly the website is www.NILMDTS.org

I will def do this too.  Wow I have never heard of that, so the photogrpaher will come and take pictures of the babies in the hospital?  I will mention that to them.

As of this morning they had not been born yet, I believe they were still figuring out whether to do c-section or not.

CakesABake

Honestly after we came home from the hospital with no baby...we really did not want to see a lot of people. It would be nice to give a gift card for them to order in or go pick up some food to bring home.

LEON

CakesABake:

Honestly after we came home from the hospital with no baby...we really did not want to see a lot of people. It would be nice to give a gift card for them to order in or go pick up some food to bring home.

I had thought about this too...I am going to call her husband once we know when they will be home and check with him first, if she doesn't want visitors I will just order them takeout...or i don't mind cooking, leaving it on their front porch and ringing the doorbell and just leaving!

This whole thing is breaking my heart they are the sweetest people, its not fair for anyone to have to endure this.

hmclaughlin10

My heart goes out to your friends; what a horrible thing to happen so late in the game.

I'm with the other ladies, I would bring over a meal or if you find they are recieving a lot of meals, maybe a nice dessert? And I really like the idea of remembering their due date with a nice card. I think that will help them feel like others cared about her twins as well, and that you are also thinking about her and her family. I am sure even just helping out with her son, taking him to get lunch or something just so her and her husband have some time to spend together to grieve.

She is very lucky to have a friend like you that cares so very much.

LEON

Thank you again ladies I very much appreciate all of your help.  And I am sorry for all of your losses, no one deserves this kind of pain.

I hope that you all find hope and happiness in your futures.

alexa08

Sounds like you're already being a huge help with their son.  All of the above are great.  I did want to see friends after our loss, but everyone is different so calling the husband is a good first step.  Little things like meals are great. Taking out the trash, watering the plants, or changing the water in all the flowers they may receive would also be good.  My heart goes out to your friend.

TigerFan

That is just heartbreaking, but sounds like they have a wonderful friend looking out for them.  Do you have access to their house while they are in the hospital?  If so, you could go clean (don't forget to check the fridge for old food) and then stock them up with food, snacks, paper products (no need for them to wash dishes), etc.  That would be one less thing for them to think about.  Getting dinners lined up and care for their child will be a great help too.  Like you said, even if you just set it on the porch and leave. 

Prayers and blessing for all of them.

Laurakat81

I agree that meals are an excellent idea. Send flowers, cards, all the things you would typically send when someone loses a family member. Offering to babysit is a great idea too. Stay in touch. Call and text to tell them you are thinking of them but don't be upset if those calls aren't returned. I promise they are appreciated. Remember dates. Write down the babies' birthday. Even if they were stillborn I think every parent wants to feel like their children aren't forgotten. Send a card on the anniversary of that day in the years to come.

Copswife05

LEON:

Copswife05:

Also in the coming months little things like remembering their due date with a card is thoughtful. Just so they know people are thinking about them. If they have not given birth yet, you might help them get in touch with a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer. If I remember correctly the website is www.NILMDTS.org

I will def do this too.  Wow I have never heard of that, so the photogrpaher will come and take pictures of the babies in the hospital?  I will mention that to them.

As of this morning they had not been born yet, I believe they were still figuring out whether to do c-section or not.

Yes. They are a wonderful organization. They came to the hospital immediately after our son was born (the nurses took pictures before then) and they are some of our most cherished memories.