16 mo old tantrum at dinnertime...!?

groovygrl

DS has been doing this lately- we come home from daycare & he and DD play a little while I heat up their dinner. I say, who wants to eat dinner, come in the kitchen! (our kitchen/family room are one big room so they're usually right nearby or actually in the kitchen playing). DD always comes running over, either to her high chair or to me at the sink b/c I like to wash their hands first.  At this point, DS proceeds to start crying (usually in the family room) and begins tantrum throwing while I get DD settled w/ her food at the table. He throws himself on the couch, floor, feet kicking, the whole nine yards. I won't go pick him up & carry him, but I will go over & calmly talk to him and ask him to come into the kitchen so he can eat, show him the full plate, etc. 

AFter about 5-10 sometimes he will actually walk in. Sometimes not & I'll go back in and talk to him & ask him to walk with me & I hold his hand & we walk over to the table together.

1. Am I expecting too much that when I say who wants dinner? come into the kitchen to eat!, that he'll actually come in?  

2. Any tips? I know ignoring tantrums is generally the way to go & I definitely don't want to reinforce it & I try hard not to show too much annoyance/anger.

3. At what point do you give in? Or don't you? My problem is a small window b/c dinner and bath/bedtime since they have a pretty early bedtime. I suspect being tired contributes to all of this (they eat b/w 530 & 600)...

Thanks! 

erino&chrish

I am RIGHT there with you.  We went out to eat and LO was obsessed with dipping his chips into salsa, but the salsa was hot and it was making him cry.  We tried to take the salsa away so he'd eat dinner and he had an all out tantrum.  A lot of nights it's going fine until he tries to feed himself with a spoon, then food goes everywhere.  He can't get food in with the spoon, won't eat with his hands, and goes nuts when we try to help him.  I just try to make it a fun game and get him excited again.  I have found that fighting it only makes it worse.  I wish I had great advice that works, but mostly I just wanted to let you know that I'm going through the exact same thing.

skylooo

We were having a similar issue, it turned out she just didn't want to sit in the high chair anymore.  She would scream and pry at her high chair tray.  Our solution was to take the tray off and put her like "a big girl" at the table.  The novelty of it has worked so far... no more tantrums.

groovygrl

skylooo:

We were having a similar issue, it turned out she just didn't want to sit in the high chair anymore.  She would scream and pry at her high chair tray.  Our solution was to take the tray off and put her like "a big girl" at the table.  The novelty of it has worked so far... no more tantrums.

Glad that worked! We actually pull up to the table so I don't know that it is high chair related (they're in the FP space saver chair as a booster)...he won't even walk over to it, it is so weird. He only does this on weeknights too so I really think it is related to being tired but argh! 

starlingrose

Maybe instead of just calling to him you could try going over to him and asking him if he wants to wash his hands and try and make it seem exciting. Then when your right in the kitchen after washing you can make dinner sound exciting and put him in his chair. It MIGHT be a jealousy thing because your DD always runs over first?