Some people don't get it. (long..)

hmclaughlin10

Is anybody else just extremely frustrated when anyone mentions anything about being pregnant? I feel like I want to just scream whenever I hear someone complain about being pregnant.

My friend who is due a week after my EDD texted me today and just complained about how sick of being nauseous she is and how annoyed she is that "this baby" won't let me keep anything down. Then she went on to tell me that she didn't get any sleep last night because she felt like her bladder was going to explode every 15 minutes. I honestly wanted to call her and just freak out on her. I would do ABSOLUTELY anything to feel that. It didn't bother me and it makes me so angry that people can hate it. I couldn't bring myself to texting her back because I didn't want to say something that I would regret but I feel like some people have NO consideration when it comes to others. 

Maybe I am just completely on edge or my hormones are completely out of wack but come on now people. It will be 2 weeks since my D&C tomorrow and I still don't feel like doing anything. I don't want to get ready for the day, I don't want to go out in public, and I don't ever feel hungry. I just want to hide and not have to face anyone or explain anything. I feel un-whole and lost. I wish there was some answers to who I am feeling so absolutely horrible and worthless. I miss being able to wake up and feel nauseous and feel like I have to pee every 10 minutes. I miss being hungry and not having to worry about gaining "bad" weight. I miss being able to go online and find the baby furniture with my hubby and try and decide what kind of "themed" nursery we want.

I don't think it's fair that all these people can be pregnant and not give a sh*t about it. They continue to drink/smoke/drugs and they have perfectly fine babies. There are even people that abort their children and go on with the rest of their lives. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME.

Honestly though, thank the Lord for this amazing website, all of you women are absolutely amazing and are making this a tad bit easier for me. XO

fireflies0306

nope. some people don't realize how lucky they are to have their LO and be pregnant...and its not fair.  I'm sorry for you {{hugs}}  if i could have the morning sickness for the full nine months but hold my baby in my arms i would do it!  and not complain!!!!

vitan

Does she know about your loss? I think that makes a big difference.

On the other hand, I know exactly what you mean. I had a friend who complained all about her pregnancy and yet I knew 3 personal friends, dealing with infertility that would have traded the world to be in her shoes. It bothered me so much and I wasn't even close to being pregnant at the time. 

mdhealy676

What each of us wouldn't give to spend 9 months with our heads in the toilet if that meant a take home baby at the end.  Sorry you have to deal with an insensitive friend--particularly if she knows about your loss. 

hmclaughlin10

She was the only friend I told I was pregnant--that is what makes it 10 times worse because she knows I have been struggling.

vitan

hmclaughlin10:

She was the only friend I told I was pregnant--that is what makes it 10 times worse because she knows I have been struggling.

My thoughts are maybe she thinks she's helping you out by saying how horrible pregnancy is, kind of like a "see what you would be dealing with" and not intentional. She just has no idea what you've been through or going through. And I hope in heaven above that she never does! 

I think, after you write the scathing letter [that you never send] like PP said, you just let her know that while you definitely want to be there to support her during her pregnancy, but now is not a good time. You just need some time to heal. If she's a good friend, she'll understand. I honestly don't think it's being done in malicious form. HTH!

dana1318a

I'm so sorry    but we've all learned that this is a pain you can't fully understand unless you've been here yourself.  And hopefully she never is here.  I do agree with PPs about writing her a letter (and definitely waiting and thinking about it before sending it).  If she was a good enough friend to know that you were pregnant, and that you mc'd, then I assume she's a good enough friend to have an honest discussion with about how she's hurting you (or an honest letter).  She probably just doesn't realize what she's doing is hurting you.  I really hope you find the strength to tell her how you're feeling, and that she's strong enough to take it for what it is and not take it personally, and put things into perspective. ((hugs))

Arlee0711

That really sucks.  Like others have said, I don't think you can understand how it feels until it happens to you.  I know that in the past when my friends have had a m/c I never knew what to say - and i'm sure I said some of the things that piss all of us off now.  Maybe in a weird way she thinks she's trying to make you feel better.

Hang in there and maybe let her know how she's been hurting you.  If she's a good friend, I"m sure she has no intention of doing this and just doesn't understand the pain you're going through.