Delaying Pregnancy

ExpatPumpkin

I'm 32 and DH is 36, and we do not have children yet. We're actually thinking of putting off trying for another couple of years.

I know that getting pregnant can be really hard, and we really won't know until we try. So my question is whether we're being shortsighted or naive to delay even trying for our first until I'm 34-35.

We currently practice NFP (charting temps and CM) as birth control, and I have regular cycles ranging from 25-27 days each. Since all signs point to me ovulating each month, and I'm healthy (no abnormal paps, in good shape, etc.), is it crazy for me to assume that we have a pretty good chance of conceiving in a few years?

Also, is there anything that we can do now (tests, etc.) to assess whether we may face difficulties in the future?

Mrs.McIrish

I will always be a firm believer in having kids when the time is right for you and not when you are "supposed" to have kids.  You just have to be OK with the possibilty that you won't be able to have kids when you decide to or that it could be a tough journey to have them when you decide you are ready.   As for your chances of conceiving being good because you are having "normal" cycles and are healthy, who knows. I don't think any of us on this board who are having trouble expected to have trouble. You just never know until you try. 

 I don't think you can get tests done now when you haven't been TTC. The general rule is that you can get tested once you have TTC for a year under age 35, 6 months for over. Also, getting good test results now doesn't mean you will conceive easily in a couple of years.  Good luck to you.

CityPixie

We also delayed.  until 40!  Not sure it was the greatest idea since we're still not PG but I totally agree with your decision.  You just have to be ready for that next phase of life and we weren't until now.  That being said:  I think by delaying you also have to come to grips with the possiblity of no kids...or adopting or intensive types of interventions.  I do wish that when I was 36 someone would have suggested I see an RE just to get a picture of what is going on for future plans.  And so, that is my advice to you.  good luck.

ForTheLoveOf Pink

Speaking from a 40 soon to 41 yr old perspective....yes I really wish I would have had a child when I was younger. But with that said would my life be the same?...I went back to school, got married, bought a home, a car, etc.....I always say "***"  should have had a child when I first started to hear the biological clock in my head, but that would have taken me down a different fork in the road. A really I know I would have managed, but I don't know that I was ready......and clearly the DH was not ready since it took him 9 yrs to decide to marry me! LOL.

Only you can "know" when it is right for you to have a child.

AlmostLoCo

I think if you were say 37 (haha... my age) talking about waiting a few years, I would tell you not to wait. At 32... I don't know. Your fertility declines a little bit every year from age 20 or so (not sure of the exact age), but starts to go down more rapidly once you are in your mid-thirties, so if it were me I wouldn't wait too long. With men I think it really starts to decrease in their 40s. But, like PP said, only you know when it is the right time to have a child - you have to be emotionally and financially ready since it is a huge life change. Plenty of people get pregnant in their mid-thirties with no problems, but it's true that it can be more difficult than it is now.

Have you considered freezing your eggs? One of my friends did that a few years ago when she was single, ended up getting married this year when she was 39, and is now looking into "thawing" them. It can be a costly process though.

 

cfitz16

we conceived when I was 34 on the 2nd month, but you probably need to chat with your doc about your specific health.

amandaleigh1

While I did not start charting in earnest until actually TTC, I did for several years note that I had very regular cycles averaging 28 days in length. Upon starting to TTC, I also know that I ovulate, so that is all fine and good. But I still am not yet pregnant, and still don't really know if there is a potential problem-- you never really know till you try for awhile, and if that doesn't work, get some tests...

If there are compelling reasons to put it off (I did for a long time for my and my husbands grad school) that is reasonable-- but I think if you are feeling like you are near ready, and already in your 30s, it is probably better to try earlier rather than later, as you never know how long your fertile window will be open.

UOduckBride2be

Given my personal story I wouldn't delay.  I have had tests run and everything shows normal for both me and DH.  We are categorized as "unexplained" and there are no reasons we were given for our losses.  I had an additional Chemical Pregnancy that I neglected to mention in my siggy that took place in early 2006.  You can see that I get pregnant only every 2 years and don't stay pregnant.  It could be my egg quality at my age, it could be a fluke, no one knows.  I would not delay.  We didn't delay TTC, but rather tried to play it cool and be relaxed about TTC for too long, (just temping, using CBEFM and timed intercourse).  We have never taken a cycle off except after MC.  We are just now getting agressive and I regret not doing it sooner.  I don't think there is ever a perfect time, but there seems to be a window of opportunity for each individual person.  The problem is that there is no way of knowing exactly when that window closes.  I'm not trying to be all "doom and gloom", just sharing my personal story of no diagnosis and that it has led to over 5 years of TTC starting when I was 31.

Oh, I forgot to add that I too have clockwork normal cycles, (except this most recent one on clomid), and ovulate every month.

Take Care and good luck deciding whatever is best for you and your hubby!

Sarah

soon-to-beamrs

32 is still pretty young.  I do know a lot of people that concieved right away in their mid and late 30's.  I think you shouldn't rush to have kids if you're not ready yet.

jb2rn

I think many women on here have had some difficulty TTC, so they will tell you "don't wait". We got married when I was 30, dh 29. We wanted a few years to save, travel, etc.

I was ready before he was - about two years ago (I am 34 now). He wasn't, though. Mostly scared.

We started to TTC in August, and although we have no known issues at this point in time, I do wish we had started six months earlier or so. I warned my husband that it could take awhile, I think he thought the moment we tried I would be pregnant. Not so much.

My advice? Wait until you both are ready, but not until things are "perfect".

good luck.