I feel like I am losing it....

chemica186

So I have always been worried that I would be unable to get pregnant due to undergoing chemotherapy. Needless to say, DH and I were beyond relieved and excited when we found out we were expecting.

Last sunday, I miscarried. I was 5w1d. No one around me seems to be upset. They continue to tell me it was for the best and we can try again. Even DH, while sad, seems to think that it is ok because we can just try again.

 I feel alone. I was carrying a baby and now I am not. I feel empty, depressed and I don't know what to do. I am in the middle of finals and have no desire or motivation to do any work. I just want to sit here and cry, but I feel like that is not an option either. I just wish my family and DH could help me but how can I tell them what I need when I don't even know?

haziedaze

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is really hard when you don't feel supported by your loved ones. I would try being honest with them about how you are feeling. I would probably say something like "Look, I know I can try again and that this 1st pregnancy wasn't meant to be. But minimizing my pain and what I'm going through actually doesn't help me. I will never have THAT baby back and I need support for a little while, while I grieve this loss." Hope this board is helpful. ((HUGS))

lkfdp

I'm sorry for your loss.  I did lose it today in the middle of Kohl's.  We were talking about going to my husband's family's house for Christmas and his sister has a daughter who is a little over a year.  Just the thought of going to his house and having his family say how cute she is and fawn over her just made me sick and I lost it in the store.  My husband was mad at first but I think it is mainly because he doesn't know how to help me.  Just know that we are all in your same situation and we are here to help.

Jendrix

I feel your pain.  It's so great that you know you can get pregnant, and yeah, you can try again, when you're ready, but still.... it doesnt matter what anyone says, even those who support you fully - its soooo hard to deal with it, and unless you actually have lived it, you cant possibly understand.  It was your baby.  You feel like you have lost a very special part of you.  You hear things like 'its natures way', and part of you agrees but it is soooo unfair.  All I can say is that for me, it look a long time, and I turned to creative writing - poetry, song writing mostly, and then when I turned every emotion into a sad. emotional song that only I would ever hear, I kept with the creative flow and started my own photography business.   I guess what Im saying is everyone mourns in their own way, and heals in their own way, and moves on in their own way.  And even though you arent alone, you gotta find your own way.

Good luck with everything, you sound like a strong and compassionate woman!

MrsR25

I'm sorry for your loss. I had two early miscarriages and I've had to deal with a lot of people telling me all kinds of crap. I don't even listen anymore.

ambs21

So sorry for your loss.  You are not alone.  It seems that people don't know how to respond appropriately.  I'm not even sure what that would look like.  Everything you're feeling is valid and "normal".  Hang in there.  I hope you're able to find support IRL and here.  T&P.

JenLastInitial

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I am in the exact same situation right now, so have no advice. I hope things get better for you.

shanna82

I am so sorry for your loss.  It is so sad how common pg loss is, but yet, people don't really even try to comprehend how painful m/c is.  Through this process, I have learned that no one can understand what we are feeling unless that have gone through it themselves.  That is why this board and TTCAL have been my rock since my loss.  ((hugs))  We are here for you and we understand.

mdhealy676

It's really hard for people who haven't gone through it to understand it.  Do your best to explain to DH what you're feeling--even if it seems irrational or doesn't make any sense.  My DH had the same attitude with our first mc.  It seemed like it was easier to focus on trying again instead of the loss.  Just try to take it one day at a time.  The feeling of hopeless does pass with time but if you feel like you're really struggling, don't be afraid to talk with a grief counselor.  Sometimes they can help you put your feelings into words that may help your DH understand what you're going through.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this.  We're all here to support you ((hugs))