Doing better...I think

malindasuern

Today in a meeting with our priest for the wedding he asked us questions about how losing the baby made us feel.  And I didn't cry.  I wanted to and it breaks my heart, but I didn't lose it so I think thats a step in the right direction.  I bought a bunch of pregnancy tests because my doctor isn't monitoring my levels.  It was already negative.  This is what I wanted, but still kind of stung.  My dad commented its nice to see me smile and happy again.  Then I feel guilty because how can I smile when we lost our baby?  But I cleaned the house and got out of bed and went to work and did all the things I didn't want to do.  I guess I'm dealing.

Lorange-8

It's a long road and the only way to work thru it is trying to get back to the normal day to day things. Sending you lots of hugs!!

fireflies0306

i completely understand-and i know how tough it is getting back to the "normal".  today my dh commented as to how unlike myself i am being, and should i ask the dr about antidepressants, because i'm just too quiet.  later, after he apologized, we discussed why it was not a great question to ask, b/c at least i'm getting out of bed, not curled up, and trying to go back to work on monday.  but i know how it feels when everyone (b/c i've heard the comments too) as to how nice it is to see me smile and laugh again.  its not easy, and when they make those comments it only makes me remember.  i also gauge myself by how easy it is to make me cry, and i had to call the funeral home yesterday to make the arrangments, and i didn't cry at all.  ...hang in there, but you are doing great, and moving at your own pace!!!!