Do you turn your back on your lo?

starlingrose

When Im grocery shopping ds is always up in the cart. I am usually pushing it but if we are in an isle I might walk around him and reach for things. I stay within a carts length of him. Im usually talking to him so I thoutgh it was no big deal. Well tonight I was looking at some vegetables that happened to be right near the entrance of the grocery store. I pulled my cart near them and then stepped about half a carts length away and started examining them. A family friend came up and was hugging ds and cuddling him and when I turned around totally scolded me saying she could have been anyone and could have taken him. She was only hugging him for about 15 seconds but I honestly didnt notice until I turned around. Just thinking about it now (and thinking about the story about the 2yo being raped in the Dollar Tree)and I feel so awful.15 sec is all it takes. Anyone else?

thequeeenbee

I'm guilty of that as well. It's amazing how quick things can happen. The other day I turned my head for 10 seconds, I turn back around and he was wiggled out of the seatbelt and was almost fully standing! I almost had a heart attack!

JLS0320

I am really paranoid about stuff like that and I always seem to have a hand on the shopping cart at all times I've noticed. I don't really think about it though, just a protective action I guess.

Tonya_G

I still carry DD in a wrap when we go shopping. It prevents a lot of tantrums from her trying to grab for things. So thankfully this is not an issue. Also, I usually have DS along with me, and he's quite vocal and would say something if she was doing something unsafe or if someone tried to mess with her. But yeah, I've done it.

thequeeenbee

Tonya_G:

I still carry DD in a wrap when we go shopping. It prevents a lot of tantrums from her trying to grab for things. So thankfully this is not an issue. Also, I usually have DS along with me, and he's quite vocal and would say something if she was doing something unsafe or if someone tried to mess with her. But yeah, I've done it.

I miss keeping DS in the moby when we went shopping. I really enjoyed it. But he's too wiggly now and my back is too weak! lol.

smilelari

If I am shopping alone with DS, he is in a front carrier.  Otherwise, DH is with me and one of us is always watching DS.

sgrl

OMG, I had not heard the story about the two-year-old. Was the rapist caught? How horrible.

Ivana_Stolichnaya

The Dollar Tree incident happened near me...

https://www.ktvu.com/news/26014249/detail.html

 

I'm going to have a hard time letting her out of my sight after this story happened. 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

sgrl:

OMG, I had not heard the story about the two-year-old. Was the rapist caught? How horrible.

Yes...and he should be castrated.

Tara n Mike

I am probably a little too relaxed.  That story about the dollar tree is so scary and sad. 

sgrl

Ivana.Stolichnaya:

sgrl:

OMG, I had not heard the story about the two-year-old. Was the rapist caught? How horrible.

Yes...and he should be castrated.

 

He should be f*cking beaten to death! 

OMG seriously? How out of control was that guy to assault that girl in the MIDDLE OF THE DAMN STORE?!?! That's so insane. 

I hope he dies horribly. Maybe that makes me a bad person but so be it. 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

Even worse, this is the second girl he has attacked.  He went to jail for assaulting a 7 year old girl back in '03.  Why why.....WHY was he back out on the street???

jessicaclare

With DD2, not really. She has a tendency to wiggle out of the seatbelt and stand up. With DD1, I'm a little more relaxed if she's in the cart because she'll let me know if someone comes up to her. I hate that she likes to walk on her own, though. She's still short enough that its easy to lose sight of her and it freaks me out. Plus she's always walking into people and I get tired of apologizing.

wellfleet04

Yes, it's fairly unavoidable if I have both kids with me.  DD is 3.5 so she doesn't ride in a cart anymore, and DS who is 20 months usually insists on not riding if his sister is not riding.  Definitely no carrying for him.  But, yeah, I turn my back for a second or two all the time at stores, the park, whatever.  Impossible not to. 

 That story is gross and sad, but it doesn't really scare into doing anything differently.  I mean, the chances are SO, SO remote of something happening, and I just can't live my life in fear of the very, very unlikely.  I need to get out, do things and live my life, my kids need to learn independence, and I just can't waste worry on things that I can't control that are very unlikely to happen.  

Emcat1980@yahoo.com

Not in public. I make him ride in the cart, I carry him, or he "helps" me push the cart.

Yesterday we were in the mall and it was of course crowded. We were near the big tree where Santa was set up. I was watching him kind of walk around/explore from about 15 ft away but had my eyes on him the entire time. Some older lady came up to him and said very dramatically "Where is your MAMA?" I was like "um, right here" and she scolded me "Things can happen so fast - you really need to keep a better eye on him." I am probably extra sensitive b/c I am pregnant, but I was so offended! I said "I was watching him like a hawk the whole time." It is scary how fast they can slip away or get themselves into trouble though!

MrsBeckO

smilelari:

If I am shopping alone with DS, he is in a front carrier.  Otherwise, DH is with me and one of us is always watching DS.

Ditto here.. If I'm alone, I wear her.

BetsyDavis

I'm usually good about not letting DD out of my sight but I will admit I do it every now and then at the store. 

ohfour

OMG, that Dollar Tree story is EFFED UP. People are SO SICK.

tabi_ja

I try not to turn my back on Miles, but not because of stranger danger.  Miles is way too talented at wiggling out of the seatbelt in the cart, and I've found him standing up on several occasions.  My heart always jumps into my throat.  So, now, I usually stand with one hand on him while using the other to take stuff off the shelf.  It's the only way to keep him seated!

macchiatto

I try not to, but it can be hard when you're looking for something. My boys hate grocery shopping (well, Will especially) so now if I know I'll be in a store more than 10-15 minutes, I try to do the errand when DH can just stay home with them. For me it's easier to stay vigilant the whole time if it's a short trip, especially since I'm a couponer and a big label-reader (food allergies) so that's just harder to do well with two toddlers while also keeping an eye on them at all times. And I hate that I have to turn my back on one toddler to buckle the other in his car seat but that can't easily be helped.

EastCoastBride

wellfleet04:

Yes, it's fairly unavoidable if I have both kids with me. 

See, this is the thing.  W/ these posts, it's mostly moms of only 1 kid answering. Same w/ "do you ever leave your kid in the car?".  And of course if you have only 1, it's a lot easier to keep them in sight/ with you.

I just don't think it's always going to be possible to keep your child in your site 100% of the time, 24/7.  There are going to be times where we do have to turn our backs, or run back inside quickly, or what have you.

These stories are horrible - no question.  But they are still rare in reality and a part of me just can't allow myself to succumb to the never-ending list of "what ifs". 

 

Cityplanner

wellfleet04:

That story is gross and sad, but it doesn't really scare into doing anything differently.  I mean, the chances are SO, SO remote of something happening, and I just can't live my life in fear of the very, very unlikely.  I need to get out, do things and live my life, my kids need to learn independence, and I just can't waste worry on things that I can't control that are very unlikely to happen.   

This.

That story is horrible, but I can't imagine letting DD wander into a different aisle of the store.  I think I'm pretty relaxed about these things and I will turn my back on her to get something or walk a little bit up or down an aisle (like if we're getting cereal and I see the kind I want is down the row) but I wouldn't let her wander alone out of my site.   Crazy nutjobs aside, I'm worried she'd pull stuff off the shelves or try to climb them or just wander off in the wrong direction. 

AfterAll

Like everyone else here... I try to keep him in my line of vision, but sometimes when we are home I am doing something and he sneaks away.  He doesn't walk yet so I don't have to worry about him wandering away in public... as for the cart... I can't say 100% that I never take my eyes off of it, but if I do bend down to get something off of a shelf and he is in the cart, I keep my hand on the cart.

smilelari

EastCoastBride:

wellfleet04:

Yes, it's fairly unavoidable if I have both kids with me. 

See, this is the thing.  W/ these posts, it's mostly moms of only 1 kid answering. Same w/ "do you ever leave your kid in the car?".  And of course if you have only 1, it's a lot easier to keep them in sight/ with you.

I just don't think it's always going to be possible to keep your child in your site 100% of the time, 24/7.  There are going to be times where we do have to turn our backs, or run back inside quickly, or what have you.

These stories are horrible - no question.  But they are still rare in reality and a part of me just can't allow myself to succumb to the never-ending list of "what ifs". 

 

I definitely can see that.  I certainly can't see myself wearing a newborn and a 3 year old

DS doesn't walk yet and I'm sure that even with 1 it gets harder when they are really walking

mechanicsgirl

I'm usually pretty conscious about it. 

 

Still, there was a time I was doing the self check out at our grocery store.  I hate doing it alone because I have to be at the front of the cart and DD or DS are at the back.  Anyway, that was the only aisle open that morning, and I walked around and was checking out.  I heard someone talking and turned around and the cashier that was manning the self check out lanes had gone around and had her hands all over DS and was in his face talking to him.  I was horrified I didn't even notice her approach...and that she was touching my newborn without permission.  I just walked around the cart, pulling it forwards a little and stepped in between DS and her.  I can't believe some people!

 

Now I make sure I am much more aware if I have to do something like that.

 

ETA:  I went back and read replies.  It sickens me to know that someone who would do something like that (and right IN THE STORE?!) was out on the streets.  As a victim of that kind of abuse, I am extra careful around anyone who is touching either of my children at any time.  I wish I hadn't read that.  

 

And I agree that most of the women who are replying have one child.  There's no way to wear my daughter and my son.  If I go out alone, I'm always wearing one, but one is always in the cart.  I try to avoid it and go out with my mom or DH.  There's only so careful you can be, though.  I mean, you have to unload the cart in the aisle, leaving one kid in the seat of the cart...or you have to go to the front of the cart to grab something or put something in it.  

Echowysp

I watch him, but I don't freak out if I have to reach across the aisle to get something.  He's belted into the cart, so I doubt someone could grab him, unbuckle a screaming Adam and me not notice.  

I'll be more worried when he's of an age when he's NOT always strapped to me or in the cart.  Like my 12 year old dss.  That's the age of real worries.

elliotandnicole

I'm paranoid.  Honestly, I don't even like it when strangers want to say hi to my son or try to touch him.  I know they are just being nice, but I don't know them, and I don't know where they've been or what kind of creepy thoughts go through their heads.  Especially strange men.  So, I really don't let DS out of my sight anywhere in public.  I would rather leash him to me than let him wonder off somewhere.  

And now that I read that awful story about the poor little girl in the dollar store, I am even more paranoid.    I don't understand why people that commit such terrible, scarring, acts are allowed back on the streets.  

macchiatto

Echowysp:

I'll be more worried when he's of an age when he's NOT always strapped to me or in the cart.  Like my 12 year old dss.  That's the age of real worries.

So true.
I also agree with wellfleet's point, but there was a time when I was turned away a little longer than usual (maybe 45-60 seconds), having a hard time finding the specific product I was looking for and when I turned around, Will had managed to wriggle out of his seatbelt and was standing up in the shopping cart about to fall out. So ever since then I've been pretty vigilant.

MeghanF13

JLS0320:

I am really paranoid about stuff like that and I always seem to have a hand on the shopping cart at all times I've noticed. I don't really think about it though, just a protective action I guess.

This exactly. And my DH is usually the one saying (about other people, not to them) that he so could've walked up and taken their kid by now.