baby shower tomorrow (not mine) - vent

kgeorge1019

so tomorrow i am going to a baby shower for my cousin-in-law's wife.  i know it is going to be difficult seeing mommy-to-be with the giant belly that i never had and seeing all the excitement surrounding her 'normal' pregnancy.  don't get me wrong, i am excited for her and feel so lucky to have such a tough cookie for a daughter, but i guess i'm a little jealous too.  i will probably have a shower when Emma comes home... but it's just not the same.  i guess i'm still grieving the loss of a 'normal' pregnancy.  it just makes me sad to think about, and i know tomorrow is going to be a little tough. 

 vent over. 

At1stsight

It will definitely be tough. My BFF had a 36w preemie who died 4 days later (he had other complications than being a preemie), and just 6 mo. later, she was right there at my baby shower. I told her that I totally understood if she didn't want to or couldn't come, but she was right there at my side, celebrating with me. (We had no clue at the time I would deliver early.) When I get stressed about going to another baby shower for a full term, normal pg mom, I remember my BFF's strength and support, and then I also remember that I was a 'normal' pg, up until the day I went into preterm labor and had him that day.

:hugs: I hope no one makes any insensitive comments to you and that you're able to have at least a little fun. If you decide you can't handle it, I think it's TOTALLY ok to not go. No one really understands what you're going through but you (and other preemie moms).

luvdv8

Sorry you're going through this. I think you're really brave and I don't know that I would have it in me to do the same in your shoes. Just know that not everyone has the same experiences and that what you've lost in not having a "normal" pregnancy you've gained in having already watched your daughter overcome so much- I think we have so much more respect for our children and what they're capable of when we watch them overcome challenges early on.

Try not to get too down tomorrow. You can't compare your situation to anyone else. 

Cara03

All of your feelings are very normal, and you are very brave, indeed. My son turns 1 year already in 2 weeks, and I have yet to go to a baby shower. I am still avoiding them and trying to heal myself emotionally. Like pp said, it's totally ok if you decide not to go, too.

Kate621

I went through this a couple months ago. Two of my cousins were pregnant at the same time as me and we were all due within 3 weeks of each other. I went to their showers. It was really hard, but I'm glad I did it. I know it meant a lot to them to have me there. If you don't feel up to it, don't force yourself to go. ((hugs))

kgeorge1019

thank you everyone.  I went to the shower and i'm glad i did.  it was tough but not as bad as i expected.  everyone there was very supportive and sweet.  thanks for all your help - you ladies are the best!! 

FisMom

A pregnant friend had a baby shower while DD was still in the hospital. I did not go. She understood completely.

ZeesMommy

I feel you!!!!!!! I had my daughter on November 12, 2010 and was not due until January 30th. She's doing well in NICU and I'm proud of her progress. I never got to finish out my third trimester. I didn't get to have my shower either, but some friends of mine are supposed to be throwing me one after she gets out. I hate to sound ungrateful, but it's not the same. I haven't had to go to anyone's shower, but I can imagine I would feel the same way as you do.