Is anyone thinking about finding out the sex of the baby but not telling anyone?

mchic_99

DH and I really want to know what we're having, but we kind of want to keep it a secret from everyone else. My in-laws really want us to have a boy, and I just don't want to deal with the drama if we don't. I think it will be so much easier once the baby is born and then nobody can complain! I also really want gender-neutral gifts and things we actually need for the baby instead of clothes. Thoughts?

markyslove

I would "like" to, but I know I wouldn't be able to.  It would undoubtedly slip.  That said, everything I register for will be on the more neutral side, so I'm hoping that will help some.

Birdies08

I think that if you do this, you should tell everyone you aren't finding out. I just can't think of a way to say, "We know but we're not telling" without putting people off.

Personally, I think it's a great idea. I wanted to do this, but MH didn't want to find out, and I'm fine with that too. I understand what you mean completely about wanting gender neutral gifts- if you do end up having a girl, that doesn't mean everything has to be pink, flowery, and frilly.

Syncronicity09

Lol, my mother is demanding a boy...I would love to see her face if its a girl. It would serve her right for being so obnoxious. I have thought about not telling, but I think MH or I would let it slip by saying he or she a lot. Plus, our families can complain, but MH has no problem telling people what he is thinking, nor do I. So it hopefully they would learn their lesson quick.

Telly21182

markyslove:

I would "like" to, but I know I wouldn't be able to.  It would undoubtedly slip.  That said, everything I register for will be on the more neutral side, so I'm hoping that will help some.

This, exactly this! 

waterfall11

Birdies08:

I think that if you do this, you should tell everyone you aren't finding out. I just can't think of a way to say, "We know but we're not telling" without putting people off.

I totally agree with this.  I had a coworker who found out but wouldn't tell people and she always made a big deal about knowing but not telling.  It was really annoying.  We weren't close so I didn't care that much, but I think family would put a lot of pressure on if they knew you knew. 

DaisyJanie

I thought about this, because my main reason for considering team green was to keep the frills or sporty themed stuff to a minimum, but like others, I wouldn't be able to pull it off. I'd be saying things like "him - I mean, him or her, whatever!" all the time. Plus I don't think DH would go for it, I think he would think it was mean to keep it a secret from our families if we know.

Turtle143

This might be a great idea since DH wants to find out and I don't and that one of my reasons is that I don't want to just receive pinks and blues if people know what we're having. I'm just not sure how well I can keep it from people!  LOL

mchic_99

I totally agree with you about not telling people that we know. That would be the plan; however, I do think it will be incredibly difficult to keep it a secret. Inadvertently saying "him" or "her" or "he" or "she" will probably happen, but I've been doing that now and I don't know the sex! LOL

Thanks for the advice!

mchic_99

My fears exactly, but nice to know I'm not the only one considering it!

JuneBug0611

Ugh, I hate when people do this.  "We know but you don't get to."  Definitely off-putting.  So if you're going to do this, definitely lie and tell people you're not finding out.  Then if you slip and say "he," just make sure you slip and say "she" next time!

YouAreMyILoveYou

mchic_99:

 I also really want gender-neutral gifts and things we actually need for the baby instead of clothes. Thoughts?

We didn't find out with our first.When we registered we picked neutral babygear and no clothes. Wepurchased beddign ourselves after she was born.

That did NOT stop EVERYONE from buying TONS of clothes that THEY thought were "neutral." Ducks and turtles were not so cute on my bald baby girl!

We spent a small fortune buying pink and purple clothes. Once you have a girl, neutral stuff just looks like boy stuff. I couldn't take my cute little baby girl to the pedi dressed in a yellow duck outfit! We used some of the stuff for bedtime, but 90% was never touched. I sent a 27lbs box of clothes to my BFF when she had her son last year. Most of it still had tags on it. I really wish my guests didn't waste their money, but there was reason we didn't register for any clothes.