Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I don't understand the excuses for FF
Whether it's "he cries when RF" or "his legs touch the back of the seat when RF" or "he's too heavy to get in and out of the car when RF" or "my car is too small and awkward" etc., etc., etc. I'm not usually one to spout out judgmental parenting choices, but are all of these excuses more important than the proven safety of your child? Are they more important than reducing the risk of serious neck and spinal injures, which puts your child at a higher risk of paralysis in the event of a catastrophic accident? Riding in a car is a risk in itself. I wonder if you FF people think it just won't happen to you? This is by far the hottest topic for me on this site and I really get upset about it.
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Re: I don't understand the excuses for FF
How's the view up on that high horse?
Get over it. People do things differently for what's best for their circumstance.
Hope you are not seriously losing sleep over this.
FF vs. RF is getting so old. We get it, you're better than us.
is this the new "breast is best" topic?
Ditto.
And FWIW, here's another argument... we still RF in my car, which is the car DS is transported in 95% of the time. In my husbands car we cannot get the car-seat installed correctly in the RF position, it just won't work. We have choose to FF the car-seat in DH's car because we can get installed correctly that way. I would rather FF in a car-seat installed correctly than RF in a car-seat not installed correctly/securely.
I don't know that it matters what you think at this point. Clearly everyone knows the risks of FF and its totally their choice.
I know this board is for 12-24 months but a lot of people on here who are FF are doing so after there child is 12 months (if not older & closer to 24 months)
AKA "I'm a better parent than you"
Look, I get that it's safer. My daughter is still RF. I'm quite passionate about car seat safety for MY child. Do I wish people would RF longer? Of course. But as long as they are FOLLOWING THE LAW then it's none of my business.
It's fine to educate others. But drop the sanctimonious bull ***.
When I saw the title for this post, I thought it was going to be a rant about how formula-feeding was poison.
Clearly I need to get in the mindset of having a toddler. Strike that....TWO toddlers.
I rear-face Eli still. My Britax Marathon is rated up to 35 pounds, which is pretty good. I understand there are ones out there that go up to 40 pounds, but I don't have one of those, and I'm not paying another $300 to gain another 5 pounds that might last him 6 months. Eli is 32 pounds right now. I'm hoping I can rear face him until he's 18 months old, but when he hits that weight limit, I'm going to have to turn him around. I hope his weight gain slows down when he starts walking and maybe this will be a non-issue for another year, but it's not looking good.
I'm sure I would feel horrible. I would feel horrible for any child in that situation. But that would not be my burden to carry. That guilt would not be mine.
I do what I can to be a safe driver and keep my daughter safe in the car. I give out info on car seat safety if I can help. I'm doing what I can to make a difference and I'll probably get much further with that than acting like a biitch on some message board to women who may not know all the facts or have the best information/support when it comes to rear facing their child longer.
My personal observation on the behavior of sanctimommies in their natural habitat is that they tend to suffer from overwhelmingly from ostentatious "sadness". They are so "sad" for you that you don't do everything their way. They are so "sad" for your children that you are not parenting the way they prescribe. They are just so "sad" that everyone in the world does not recognize their incredible superiority and their expert status on every aspect of parenting at every age.
- From: https://skepticalob.blogspot.com/2009/07/sanctimommy.html
I'm sorry as well. I've obviously became fired up as well. I understand the desire to educate more people. My husband doesn't understand my desire for wanting to RF and it's a bit of a battle for us. I win, of course, lol but I get the frustration.
I can understand them. My daughter is still RF, but it makes it pretty unsafe for DH, who is in the passenger seat in front of her and is dangerously close to both the airbag and the windshield. So, "my car is too small" is actually a valid argument. Since DH is not often in the car with us (we live in a city and don't drive that frequently) we have chosen to keep DD RF until 2 but at that point we'll feel confident that the risk to her riding FF is less than the risk to him if she is RF.
And ditto those who pointed out that if a child is screaming to the point that it's distracting the driver, that's a valid risk to consider. A distracted driver is far more likely to have an accident than one who is not distracted by a crying baby. This is said by someone who had her only accident (knocking on wood) when her first daughter was 8 weeks old and screaming her head off... and the accident was absolutely my fault and luckily nobody was hurt at all. So I see the validity with a child who won't stop screaming while RF (if FF didn't stop it I would turn them right back around).
Thanks!
There isn't really anything of value to add to your rant. You said you are upset about it. That's close enough to sad for me and the rest of the quote seems to describe your views pretty well.
I just call it as I see it.
Only if you promise to retract the claws first. haha that was lame. sorry. It's past my bed time.
I'm sorry I just get really worked up by the judgment of this board at times. I don't think some women see how they are coming across at times and don't realize how it's more likely to hurt their cause instead of help with certain behavior.
this.
my kid, my choice, back off.
I completely agree with this. My daughter has been FF since she hit the requirements of the law, and I am glad I turned her around, she loves the ar now and I have an eye on her throughout trips. Its just a personal choice. I wouldn't judge anyone with their kid on this situation, as long as they are following the standards, whether it is RF or FF.
This!!!
I'm so tired of this argument!
LOL, totally THIS. I don't get being "fired up" about what other people do with their kids. I could give a crap whether my friends FFRF, BF/FF, feed organics or whatever else people on this board supposedly are "concerned" about other people's kids over. I do what I think is best for my family, and I let others make their own choices. It's being superior, just own it already.
There is NO ONE on this board who hasn't seen the effing You Tube videos or read the one billion posts about how much safer RF is. You don't need to "educate" anyone. They.Get.It.
We're supposed to be putting them in car seats? I thought that's what seatbelts were for.
Wow, I learn something new here everyday. If it weren't for the bump and people like the OP, I'd have no idea how to be a parent.
Well, to be honest, if it weren't for the Bump, I wouldn't have known about RFing. It's only the last few months that I saw any literature to RF until 2 given out. I know quite a few of my RL friends aren't aware of the new suggestions and go by what they are told by their mothers or friends with older kids.
Oh and I call BS on the ones saying that they don't care about anyone else's parenting choices because it doesn't affect them. I think most people have judgments about parenting choices they see people make.
This
Oh, I totally judge. Of course I think my choices are better, that's why I do it the way that I do it, because I think it's the best solution for my family. But I seriously do not get the whole "I'm so sad" or the faux "concern" for other people's kids. Just own the judgment. I think it's fine to judge, but there is no need to preach or find yourself getting fired up or emotional about other people's parenting choices. I mean, straight up abuse, sure, get involved. But most of the issues on here that people pretend to be all concerned about? Meh. I do think my way is best, but I don't really CARE to a point where it makes me emotional about what other people do.
Obviously people can get useful information here. This post just rubbed me the wrong way too early in the morning.
And an eta instead of quoting wellfleet: I get emotional over children starving, freezing and being abused. Carseats, not so much.
I wouldn't say I get emotional about it, but I do admit to thinking it's lame and pretty stupid to not follow an easy and basic safety procedure. I think some people have valid reasons to do the bare minimum legally, but many do it just because that's what was done for years and it's hard to change.
Oh. My. God. How many times does this have to come up?? This is like EVERY. DAY. here. Why don't you just worry about your own kid and find something else to obsess about? Or do you just need a pat on the back on how well you're informed??
Guess what, RF or FF, if your car is crushed, I doubt it's going to matter that much, and further, if someone's kid gets hurt or killed, what are you going to do- say, "I told you so?" or "I sat around judging you for FF- this is what you get!"
Are there any hard core stats out there that say ERF saves X% of lives/spinal colums over FFing?
We RF the vast majority of the time, but there are situations that have come up where we had to put him FF. IRL everyone can't always be perfect.
I agree with this.