38&pregnant & trying to be happy

Pearly609

I'm divorced and now in a 2 year relationship, but have not plans on marrying ever again in the contemporary way.  I have 2 teenage children and an adult child. I've always raised them by example, but unfortunately my birth control didn't work and I'm now pregnant. I haven't yet told them because I don't know how they're going to take it and being that I recently lost my job, I don't want them to worry. Glad I found this site, as I haven't told my family either.  We told his mother whom I'm very close with, but she keeps hinting for me to get and abortion.  Just stressed and trying to be excited about this pregnancy, but I don't feel any connection now.  I'm 10 weeks today.

J&A2008

Are you against abortion?  Have you considered adoption?  It sounds like you've got a list of why having a baby now is not good for you.

Ilumine

I too would suggest looking at adoption.  What a wonderful duo gift you could give....the gift of life and the gift of a family. 

MrsBPO

You're ten weeks along and going through some rough times.  You might have a change of heart, things may improve and this might be the biggest blessing you've had in your life to date.  Or it might be something you don't want to deal with at this stage of your life.

Give yourself time to get used to being pregnant; it's all new to you right now.  If you don't believe or are not interested in having a abortion, and you decide you just aren't prepared to raise another child, by all means consider adoption.  There's an adoption board here on the nest filled with ladies who have adopted or are looking to adopt (I lurk there and very occasionally post since DH and I have been considering adoption).  There's an FAQ tab on the top you can click on or the ladies would certainly answer any questions you might have.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever your decision (and with the other aspects of your life right now, too.  Sounds like you're having a rough time right now.) 

Pearly609

Yes, I have considered abortion but for some reason, can't bring myself to do it. My boyfriend is so excited he can't understand why that would be an option for me, so talking to him isn't much help. He lives in another state and is raising his teenage daughter from birth, being that her birth mother tried to put her up for adoption. He doesn't support the genetic testing so that's on me too. His mother is rushing me to make a decision and I truly have tried, but I'm in limbo and it's very hard. That's why I haven't told anyone else because they'll just make this even harder for me. I no with my situation, one would think, there's only one option as I have, but I can't even pick the phone up to call the clinic and I have had an abortion before, so I'm definitely not against them.  I'm venting and thank you all for listening.  It feels so good to have someone to talk to that doesn't know or judge me.

Pearly609

I truly appreciated everyone's comments but especially yours.

Mrs.Astros_Fan

I'm sorry you are in this situation. 

You don't have to make a decision about adoption anytime soon, so you can keep that in the back of your mind for the time being.  Would you be more comfortable with your situation if you had a job?  Are you interviewing?

Pearly609

Yes, I would feel alot better about it if I had a job which I am searching for.  Both my partner and I have lost our jobs so the stress is significant.  I was able to keep my health insurance from my job for 2 years which is unheard of, so I'm thankful for that.

misteeq64

You need some conselling to help you figure out all this situation

hereonceagain

what about YOU?  You need to block out everyone else's thoughts or potential thoughts on it, and think about what YOU truly want.  Would you be all excited if all your kids thought this was the best news ever?  If so, you probably want the baby.  Take time and know whatever you decide is ok.  Wish you the best with this tough decision.

 

Pearly609

I had my u/s today and am absolutely in love! Watching this life moving around and the heart beating so strong, I feel so motivated to take on the world.  Things have started to look up within a week and I just have to believe in the rest. I will not be sharing the news with anyone until I'm showing.  I want to enjoy this moment w/o the comments.  I've stopped communicating with my MIL because although she means well, isn't helping. BD is so supportive and happy, I will just keep it between us and the 1 sister I've told.  She's been extremely supportive.  I've lived a pretty responsible life, my home will be paid off in a few years, my credit score is 830, although I lost my job I do have money saved. I planned on traveling the world when I turned 42 thinking all my children will be out the house or in college, I guess I'll just have a little companion with me.