Delivery/Security Q: Non-first time moms come in please!
Can I assume that the birth plan is the place to address security concerns?
I have a few relatives who DH and I have ample reason to believe would be a danger to our child, and as a result, we don't want my name (our last name is very unusual) on the hospital door; nor do we want the hospital to publish any birth announcement; nor do we want anyone to be allowed to visit without his or my approval (We plan to provide a list beforehand).
Also, I have very, very different religious beliefs from the rest of my family, which affects medical treatment I could/could not receive if necessary. Is there a way to AVOID naming a next of kin if I want only my husband to be able to make medical decisions if I'm unable?
It's an unusual situation but I'm sure not unheard of. Where besides the birth plan do I address this issue to ensure all our bases are covered?
Re: Delivery/Security Q: Non-first time moms come in please!
My information was not on the door. We were asked if we wanted the hospital to put an announcement. Tell the nurses that you are not to have any visitors unless you approve them.
My hospital is set up that you have to have a code to get onto the maternity floor. If you don't have the code, you don't get in.
This is very easy. But a good question...
YES! Your husband is and should be your next of kin anyway, but you make sure that's written down on your admission papers.
Second, as for security, they no longer post names on hospital doors due to HIPAA, but you might ask them to also make sure it's not on the nurse's assignment board. Sometimes those are visible from the hall.
Also, tell them you want information blackout on your birth. No announcement (which you have to sign for in our hospital).
As for visitation, usually they don't cherry pick visitors. There is a buzzer in almost all places and they have to say who they are there to see. But most places won't go through a list for visitors because if they have 20 people with lists, it's just too much. So, they might say if you need that kind of special list just to hold all visitors. That might be better anyway because people talk anyway and word will get out when people tell so and so that they saw you in the hospital.
See, hospitals can't release anything you don't want released. BIG Hipaa rules about it. I would just talk to the charge nurse when you go in and they will note your chart.
Also for the visitors, you can have them call your husband's cell and he can go out and bring them in with him. That's an option also. We've done that on L&D before, and much better than a list.
This is my first but I can say from experience being admitted to the hospital in the past-fill out a healthcare proxy form. This is one way to ensure your wishes are met and that your DH or whomever YOU delegate is the person who will make decisions on your behalf should you be unable. Additionally I would have your living will updated to reflect wishes for the care of any future children if this is of concern.
GL!
Make a pregnancy ticker
Having your name on the outside of the door is an outdated practice, I doubt your hospital would do that anymore, but it can't hurt to call and check. I'd check on visitation rules as well, I'm sure you can request privacy and they won't let anyone in without your permission. Maternity wards are always locked down for the safety of the babies.
For medical decisions, I signed a paper making MH my medical proxy (I think that's what it was called) so any decisions that needed to be made would have been made by him. I might have listed a secondary person on there (my Mom) but didn't have to. It was a pretty serious document, I had to have two witnesses sign and everything.
I believe that all of your concerns will be covered by the hospital as long as they know your wishes. Just in case, call/visit the hospital where you will be delivering and go thru the protocol with them...just to make sure that you're on the same page.
Make a pregnancy ticker
This - make sure you choose your 2nd choice of healthcare proxy and make it explicitly clear so that there is NO question if for any reason your husband is not available.
If receiving (or not receiving) specific medical treatment is important for you based on religious beliefs, a Durable Power of Attorney would be the best option.
While your husband may be listed as your next of kin and therefore allowed to make medical decisions on your behalf, having a DPA or similar document will ensure that the doctors, hospital staff, etc cannot ignore your wishes or "persuade" your husband to change his mind. This would be especially true if they needed a decision and he was emotionally torn to make a choice on treatment, etc. HTH
Thanks ladies!
So with this DPA, they'd have to do WHATEVER I say in it, right? Does it have to be based on "I follow X religion", or is "I feel strongly enough about this" enough?
The issue with my family is they feel, due to their ignorant and borderline psychotic clergyperson, that the meds I use to keep my endochrine system stable are evil, and that God likely doesn't want me to have kids. Unrelated to religion, they're also militantly against breastfeeding and natural childbirth (I want as few interventions as possible) for whatever reason. Some of us agree to disagree and we have a good relationship since that's not discussed, though these still aren't people I'm comfortable having make medical decisions for me under ANY circumstances.
The hospital (I was checked in for a few hours over the weekend for a kidneystone... painful but baby wasn't in distress so when I was done passing them I left) had actually wanted me to list a SECOND next of kin in case MH wasn't available. That is where I have the problem... my best friend just moved away, and any relatives I consider sane enough (or educated enough) to make rational decisions live out of state.
1. Yes, they have to do whatever you say. You don't even have to say why you want it; just say those are your wishes. The hospital should have a pre-printed (and VERY detailed) living will available for you to use; maybe see if you can pick one up in advance so you can fill it out at your own pace. HOWEVER - note that a living will only kicks in if the doctors don't think you're going to make it. If you want a document that states your wishes in the event that you are not in a terminal condition but also cannot make healthcare decisions for yourself, you will need a healthcare power of attorney - that's a different kind of document.
2. I think the thing the hospital had you sign when you were in for your kidney stones was a healthcare power of attorney. Your agent under your healthcare power of attorney doesn't have to physically be there. You can still name your best friend or any family member you want and they can communicate with the doctors by phone. Either way, you should send an e-mail to that person laying out your specific wishes and any general philosophies they should be aware of in making decisions for you. It's really unlikely they'll have to resort to that second person, but it never hurts to have everyone on the same page.
Yes you can have your name not on the door.
Yes you can keep the hospital from posting your childs or your information.
Your husband is your next of kin, so you dont have to worry about that.
Just hand them a list of names of the people you dont want to enter your room.
Agree with all of this.
Yes, all of this. They cover most of it during pre-registration at the hospital, and you can ask them about whatever is not covered during the process. It would be good to do it all ahead of time, then have your husband re-iterate each item at the relevant time (i.e., meds during delivery, security in recovery, etc.)