Stay at Home Moms
adri77
member
How do you do it if your DH works a lot?
adri77
member
I can handle things just fine most days, but some nights (like tonight) I just LOOOOOSE it. 
worst feeling ever. DH is never home before the kids go to bed, so I do the whole evening/night time routine alone (along with all day of course!), when we are all at our most cranky/tired. Most nights I just plug plug plug away until I get them to bed and then I can breath. But some nights, it feels like I'm suffocating and I'm dying for a break. I do have a babysitter that I use several times a month, but that is the most I can use her due to the $$. I belong to the Y, so working out is also a break for me, and the boys go to preschool for 5 hours a week. I don't have family in the area. So I have resources and I use them, I just would love to know how some of you de-stress/decompress at that 6:30 hour when you feel like you are going to loose it.....thanks.
worst feeling ever. DH is never home before the kids go to bed, so I do the whole evening/night time routine alone (along with all day of course!), when we are all at our most cranky/tired. Most nights I just plug plug plug away until I get them to bed and then I can breath. But some nights, it feels like I'm suffocating and I'm dying for a break. I do have a babysitter that I use several times a month, but that is the most I can use her due to the $$. I belong to the Y, so working out is also a break for me, and the boys go to preschool for 5 hours a week. I don't have family in the area. So I have resources and I use them, I just would love to know how some of you de-stress/decompress at that 6:30 hour when you feel like you are going to loose it.....thanks.
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Re: How do you do it if your DH works a lot?
My DH also works a lot and is almost never home for bedtime routine anymore. For example, today he left for work at 8am and won't be back until 10pm at least. It's hard. SO hard. I don't have much advice, but just know that you are not alone. I find myself counting down the mins until I put DS to bed so that I can get a break. I feel guilty about it too. Lately, I turn on the TV at around 6:30 so that I can finish getting my dinner together etc. :-/
One thing I find helpful, is having an outing with DS up until dinner time. It makes dinner and night time routine fly by.
DH goes through 3 month periods when he works 80 hour work weeks so we never see him. We always eat dinner at 5:30. Then it is bathtime which sometimes lasts an hour with me sitting and nesting on the computer next to them or reading, or folding laundry. Then it is one show for DS, books and one more show for DD then bed. It helps to have a schedule and know what to expect. I
also try to throw some major suprises in there when the nights are super long like tonight. We ate dinner, then I skipped bath threw them in their PJs and put them in the car, gave them both a cookie and milk in a sippy blasted christmas carols and drove around looking at lights, now we are home DS is in bed and DD and i are watching rudolph.
Some nights after long days it is dinner at McDonalds or even just $1 icecream and they play for like 2 hours while I play on the computer. Some nights it is the mall play area with pretzles for dinner.
I try to do these random activities when I am at the end of my rope, I know it sounds like more work, but the break up of the normal makes it so great for me and the kids.
Oh and in the summer it is a PB &J picnic at the park for a couple of hours.
I'm losing it today :-/ Ugh, you have way more lee-way then I do though. Mine are never in daycare or pre-school and there is no babysitter. I just have a very busy BIL who comes over about twice a month for a couple hours while I go teach dance, and I have to get them to him as late as possible, and I have to rush it to pick them up.
To be honest - my coping usually has to do with food, and I'm losing it tonight because I have nothing fabulous to stuff in my face!
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Im in the same boat. DH works nights. so he is never home for bedtime. Pluse since i became a SAHM he has been working a TON of OT and is never home. Its exhausting and even when DH is home i still dont get free time. i would LOVE to go to the gym but $$ and trying to get dh to watch the LOs is impossible!
I cant offer advice bc my LOs are still so small that usualy after thier 3 pm nap we are house bound unless someone is with me. I will admit tonight they didnt take thier 3 pm nap and were MISERABLE by 6 so by 7pm they were clean (no bath) and in bed.
I don't know how I do it, but I do, I have to. There is no one else who will or can do it. I don't have family near by. My husband's family could care less. My husband works 6 days a week. He leaves at 7 in the morning and isn't home until 10 at night. The big kids get to see him in the morning, but that's because they are up to get ready for school and he takes them. (Oldest is in Kindergarten and my 3 yo goes to preschool/speech 2 mornings a week, so 4 hours total.) The baby never gets to see him. Sunday is it.
I nearly lost it tonight. The baby hasn't been sleeping well since his routine got messed up because of Thanksgiving. He refused to take a nap this morning and this afternoon and did nothing but scream all day long. Today was a no school day for my 3 yo and he's going through a phase where if he doesn't get what he wants he throws himself on the floor. And I take care of an after school kid and today was his first day back with us since Thanksgiving and all he wanted to do was pick fights with my Kindergartner. It was not a fun day.
Bed time for all kids in my house is 7pm. Doesn't matter their age. Not only do they need the sleep (especially the older kids since they don't nap anymore) but Mommy needs it. This is the only down time I get all day and it only lasts about 30 minutes before I start cleaning up and getting things done that I couldn't get done through out the day.
No wonder I've been getting sick a lot lately. Being a SAHM is often a Thankless job.
I'm liking all of this!
My DH is home 1 day per week, on average. Right now, he's gone for a 2 week stretch. Before Thanksgiving, he was gone for 5!
My family lives locally so I hang out with them a lot, especially my sister. If things get too quiet at home, I just head to my parents' house, there's usually someone around to keep me company. We also have a lot of friends through our church so that helps.
There are still days though.....those days, I pump a relief bottle and have a glass of wine when DD goes to bed