Counseling dilemma WWTTCAL do? — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Counseling dilemma WWTTCAL do?

So I posted earlier about counseling. My doctor gave me the name & number of a woman that is in the next town over that she thinks will be a good fit for me. I trust my doc and agree I need to see someone to talk about all this stuff in my head. That said I have an HMO and they are ridiculous about some stuff, I tried calling their # today to find out if she is in network and covered and wound up losing my whole break on hold...

So as I'm waiting I jump on my companys EAP website, and they have a counseling referral program. So I called b/c I was irritated w/ the insurance co, and come to find out if I go to a counselor they refer me to, they pay for 8 sessions. 

My dilemma is, the 8 sessions are with this guy that is about 40 min away from work, 25 from my house... and based on just our tone over the phone I'm not sure I'm going to like him, or seeing a him about pregnancy loss... but I made an appt for next week (On my EDD naturally) The woman counselor I have no idea about coverage w/ my insurance (I'm going to call again tonight or tomorrow) and I might have to pay out of pocket, but my doc thinks she'd be good.  So I ask... which one would you pick? 

Easter 2010 BFP #1: EDD 12/7/10
Natural m/c 4/17/10 at 6wk 5days.

10/6/10 BFP #2: EDD 6/14/11
Mtx shot 10/15 (5w3d) for cervical ectopic pregnancy

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Beautiful baby boy born 1/10/12 7lb 14oz 21 inches


Re: Counseling dilemma WWTTCAL do?

  • If the sessions with the guy are free, there's no harm in going to one to see if you feel comfortable with him. If you go and you don't like him, you can always pursue the woman counselor.
    m/c 7/17/10
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  • I haven't gone to a counselor yet (although I'm thinking about it) I would think you would want to feel comfortable with them. If you don't get a good vibe from him with talking to him initially, maybe he's not the best one to see. This is someone you are going to open up to, and I think you would need to feel 100% comfortable with them.

    Maybe try calling the other counselor one more time before you make a decision.  


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  • I would give the guy a try since your insurance would cover it but if I wasn't comfortable with him after one maybe two sessions and I could afford it I'd try out the woman. Good luck.

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  • As someone who is in the counseling profession (and financially you're probably not going to want to hear my answer, but...) I would have to tell you to go with the person you think you are going to be comfortable with. The whole therapeutic process is based on the idea that you are able to talk with and open up to your counselor - it doesn't sound like you've got a warm, fuzzy, open up and talk feeling about the male counselor.

    I totally understand how dealing with insurance is a pita, but if it comes down to it a lot of counselors work on a sliding fee scale and might be able to help you pay for their services.

    I hope that you find something that works for you.

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * image Bloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I would be more comfortable talking about it with a woman, but that's just me. I chose a female OB for the same reason, I would just automatically censor myself with a man in a way I wouldn't with a woman.

    I also wouldn't want to tell my whole story twice, so I would wait to go to a counselor I knew was covered by insurance rather than the one that is only 8 sessions, because then you have to pay, or start the whole process over again, which I would find painful.

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  • I'd try the free route first. If it doesn't work out then try the female counselor. Hopefully by then you'll know whether or not your HMO will help cover the costs. 
    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
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  • If this was something that I needed to decide for myself, I would go with the woman that my doc recommended. I trust my OB and I know she'd steer me in the right direction. I, as well as some other posters here, feel more comfortable under the care of a woman... whatever you decide, good luck!
  • The counselor I chose to go to was not covered by insurance but I wanted to go to her because I was comfortable with her and trusted her.  From what you said, it sounds like you weren't even comfortable talking to him over the phone and the fact that you pointed out that he was a 40 year old male makes me think that you might go in there with the pretense that he is not going to understand where you are coming from and how you are feeling.  Personally I would go with the woman no matter what it costs. 
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  • Thanks ladies - my insurance SUCKS and their office was closed but I'll call tomorrow and find out, and maybe call and see when she has an appt open. I figure I could at least set it up and if I wind up seeing him first and don't like him, no biggie and I can always cancel the appt if I see her first and like her. Its free to go see him so I guess it can't really hurt.

    And looking at the posts below, at least I can be sure he won't surprise me by telling me he's pregnant... ouch.

    Easter 2010 BFP #1: EDD 12/7/10
    Natural m/c 4/17/10 at 6wk 5days.

    10/6/10 BFP #2: EDD 6/14/11
    Mtx shot 10/15 (5w3d) for cervical ectopic pregnancy

    5/11/11 BFP #3 3rd times the charm!!!
    Beautiful baby boy born 1/10/12 7lb 14oz 21 inches

  • It sure doesn't hurt to try the free one.  But I know, and this is just me, that I'd end up going to the female.  I just can't open up to a guy.
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