Very Serious & Sad question

returnhomegnome

Does anyone ever imagine their LO dying?

I'm not kidding, I occasionally have these images of my kid dying. Like if we're out walking and a bus passes, I imagine her being squished. 

It doesn't happen very often, but maybe every other week recently. It makes me cry almost every time and I get all freaked out.

Please don't flame, I feel like a horrible person already. I mean, who goes around imagining their kiddo dying?

I just try to be super thankful that we live in a developed country where we don't have to deal with infant mortality and kids dying in the same way our great grandparents did.  My great grandmother lost 3 of her 10 kids before they reached age 10.

But it still weirds me out,  and last night I lost it at the end of the Harry Potter Movie because of the teeny child-sized burial scene.

sgrl

Yes.

 

I read a horrible news story about something that happened to a two-year-old and I keep imagining it happening to her and I don't know how to stop.

kristie2422

Yes, all the time. I hate it and have no idea how to make it stop.

kimthgrt

ugh, yes. When I cant sleep I stay up and think of everything possible, and that crosses my mind..I then cry and force myself to think about something happy. 

mrs. sage

I do.  I think it's hard not to when you hear of so many horrible things happening to children, you automatically sympathize by trying to walk a mile in others shoes.  I've also found that I've become WAY more sensitive to children's issues at large.  I mean I always felt horrible when hearing about a child being victimized but since having my DS the horror of some of the stories I read about sits with me way longer than I'd like them to.

operaapril

The thought enters my mind from time to time. It makes me soooooo sad to think about it!

Liss_37

yes. my imagination runs away with all my fears and insecurities. it's horrible 

GingerBabyJ

Not unless I read a sad news story that reminds me of it. But have you considered you might have Postpartum anxiety? If you think it's affecting your life, you should talk to your doctor.

Jocelyn0415

Yes. It's very scary and sad, but sometimes I can't help myself.

Like sgrl said, if I read something I imagine it happening to Evie. 

kle+spd

Yes I do too...I hate that I do...it' freaks me out too!

viety82bur

No flames...I am terrified of anything happening to her, like I don't know how I would function.  But, at the same time, I don't feel that I'm overprotective...go figure. 

I think it's every parent's biggest fear--some of us just think of the bad things that can happen more than others do.

Echowysp

I imagine most parents have had that thought/image pass through their mind.  Don't feel bad about it. 

sunnyday016

lisswastaken:

yes. my imagination runs away with all my fears and insecurities. it's horrible 

This. It doesn't happen to me all the time, but once an image starts forming it's hard to make it stop.

PoetSorrow

I do. And with the older kids too. I believe it starts as post partum anxiety, but pretty much is like a mental OCD. It's a scary job being a mom. If you ever feel its getting consuming you need to see a therapist.

christiney06

yes and thank you for posting this...i'm glad to see i'm not alone.  I will see an ad on t.v for kids with cancer/donations and immediately will picture DS with no hair and all sick.  same with any news story involving a kid.  I hate it and wish i could just turn off that part of my brain.

emmared1986

I had to get on anxiety meds because I was constantly imagining it. I would picture a bullet flying through the window and hitting him, or a car raming into ours. It was awful. I still have the thoughts occasionally but not nearly as much as I used to. (I am on ativan btw)

t.bird

i don't dwell on it or anythnig- but yeah, it pops into my head from time to time & i get pretty sad.

blah. dislike.

suscq

It started with me when I was preg with DD and it's never stopped.  My friends' moms say it will be like this until the day we die.  It's not morbid, or insane, it's just being a parent and wanting to protect them from everything bad in this world and feeling helpless that you can't do it.  You think somehow that if you imagine every possible scenario out there, you will be better prepared to deal with it.

There is a Plumb song that I love "Safe in My Arms" where she talks about holding her son as a baby and wanting to protect him from finding out there is any bad in this world and knowing she never would be able to.

mandi7782

No but sometimes I think about something happening to me and DH (someone breaking in and killing us).  Who and when would find DS?

returnhomegnome

viety82bur:

 I don't feel that I'm overprotective...go figure. 

 I'm not overprotective either!!!    I sympathize there.

And it hasn't started to affect my behavior yet, besides the fact that LO gets some extra hugs.

I don't think I'm actually afraid of these things happening, as much as, maybe, realizing how very big a hole there would be in my life if anything ever were to happen to her.

JennifernKevin4ever

I mostly think of it when I hear of someone elses child dying. It just makes me think it could be my child. It makes me really sad.

mandi7782

suscq:

It started with me when I was preg with DD and it's never stopped.  My friends' moms say it will be like this until the day we die.  It's not morbid, or insane, it's just being a parent and wanting to protect them from everything bad in this world and feeling helpless that you can't do it.  You think somehow that if you imagine every possible scenario out there, you will be better prepared to deal with it.

There is a Plumb song that I love "Safe in My Arms" where she talks about holding her son as a baby and wanting to protect him from finding out there is any bad in this world and knowing she never would be able to.

I LOVE that song!  I am listening to that CD right now!

Soap1

I'm glad I'm not the only one!  My imagination gets the best of me sometimes and all of a sudden I'm picturing all sorts of terrible things.  I think about what if he started choking on something and I couldn't get it out; then before long I'm in a panic about it.

I agree with pps that I am so much more affected by stories about things happening to kids now!

SDKelli

Every day I worry that she will be taken from us and especially when I hear a tragic story on the news or in real life, like the 13 month old at DD's day care who got Leukemia this year (he is in remission now). I also worry that something will happen to me or to DH. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac though so I might not be the best to ask!

I read a quote one time that really sums it up

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."

-Elizabeth Stone

 

sarcole530

No flames here. I know how you feel. I had a dream so horrifying the other night that I woke up sweaty, with a fast heart beat and in tears. I had a dream that for some reason, all of my friends were over (about 4 of my friends) and they were helping me give Bryce a bath. I went to let the dog out, and when I came back in, they were all gone. They had left Bryce in the bathtub alone. He had drown. He was laying limp in the water. I picked him up and started screaming "I'm so sorry baby. I said I'd never let anything happen to you and I did. I'm so sorry." That was the whole dream. I woke up absolutely horrified.

TarheelsInNJ

Not in such graphic ways, but I do think about it sometimes and it makes me cry. Like, sometimes when I check on him before I go to bed, my heart catches for a minute until I hear him breathing.

There's a scene at the beginning of the movie Terms of Endearment where the mom is checking on her baby for breathing, and just about climbs into the crib so she can hear. I'm totally that mom!

blushingbrideoct07

t.bird:

i don't dwell on it or anythnig- but yeah, it pops into my head from time to time & i get pretty sad.

blah. dislike.

This. Usually when I am driving in the car. Since G I have become a grandma driver. 

redhead1214

kristie2422:

Yes, all the time. I hate it and have no idea how to make it stop.

Me also. It has gottn very bad since we returned home with our son from Russia. I am very fearful of her getting sick, accidents happening, etc.

redhead1214

kristie2422:

Yes, all the time. I hate it and have no idea how to make it stop.

Me also. It has gottn very bad since we returned home with our son from Russia. I am very fearful of her getting sick, accidents happening, etc.

redhead1214

kristie2422:

Yes, all the time. I hate it and have no idea how to make it stop.

Me also. It has gottn very bad since we returned home with our son from Russia. I am very fearful of her getting sick, accidents happening, etc.

redhead1214

kristie2422:

Yes, all the time. I hate it and have no idea how to make it stop.

Me also. It has gottn very bad since we returned home with our son from Russia. I am very fearful of her getting sick, accidents happening, etc.

redhead1214

kristie2422:

Yes, all the time. I hate it and have no idea how to make it stop.

Me also. It has gottn very bad since we returned home with our son from Russia. I am very fearful of her getting sick, accidents happening, etc.

mfransdell

PoetSorrow:

I do. And with the older kids too. I believe it starts as post partum anxiety, but pretty much is like a mental OCD. It's a scary job being a mom. If you ever feel its getting consuming you need to see a therapist.

Well said and good advice.

Ivana_Stolichnaya

Sad news stories help to create horrible visuals.  Probably why these stories affect me more than before I had my daughter.

sgrl

mandi7782:

No but sometimes I think about something happening to me and DH (someone breaking in and killing us).  Who and when would find DS?

sgrl

mandi7782:

No but sometimes I think about something happening to me and DH (someone breaking in and killing us).  Who and when would find DS?

This is pretty much what happened in the news story I obsess about, except the father was the one who killed the mother. And left his own child alone in their apartment.

BitterOldHag

Yes, but I thought it was because one of them almost did. It's both sad and reassuring to read that so many feel the same way.

janice74

I do the same thing. I can be strolling him down the street and I will picture a car driving up onto the sidewalk and hitting his stroller and I picture the aftermath.  It's very graphic. I just have a very over-active imagination and a bit of anxiety.  As long as it isn't all consuming and affecting your day to day like, you are fine.  If it really seems to be taking over, I would get help, so you can get some relief!

Sage Mommy

When I hear a sad news story, I think how awful it'd be if I lost them.

My obsession is with home invasion and kidnapping. I envision myself beating the last breath out of anyone that tried to take my kids from me. I would bite off a man's balls with my teeth if I had to.

Okaaay then... clearly I don't have any issues.

starlingrose

Yes but I have pretty bad anxiety and am taking meds for it so I know thats what its from.

macchiatto

Yeah. I think it's normal to worry about, as long as the thoughts don't become too intrusive or disturbing.

Last year, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Will almost died from pneumonia (the boys were 10m old at the time). He got SO sick SO fast; I mean, 36 hrs after his initial onset of simple cold symptoms, our pediatrician was calling an ambulance to take him to the hospital because she was worried he might just "putter out" on the drive to the hospital if we drove him there from her office ourselves.

Then this year (and I've posted about this), the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Alex had a seizure and stopped breathing and had to be given CPR. As soon as I saw his eyes roll back in his head, I was racing down the stairs to call 911, I heard Tom saying, "Stay with us, buddy"--which was a horrible thing to hear. As Tom was doing CPR, Alex was all ashen and his lips were blue, his eyes were closed, he was completely still ... I really thought he was gone. That image haunted me. So yeah, I'm painfully aware of the possibility that something could happen to my LOs. Next year I want to just fast-forward through Thanksgiving week.