So, DH workd 3rd shift. He has stated for a while that when N is born he will switch to 2nd shift and pull C from daycare and keep both kids at home. He says he will do this because we can't afford daycare for 2 kids right now.
I am totally against this plan. True, we can't afford daycare for 2 kids right now but I am not for pulling C at all. I proposed that maybe if he wants to switch to 2nd shift he can keep N home and still send C to school, at least for half the day. My reasoning for this is:
1) DH will work from 7pm til 2-2:30 am. He will get home between 2:30-3 and sleep until 8:30ish right before I leave for work. So, he'll only be getting 5-6 hours sleep if he's lucky. I find that a stretch to handle 2 kids of whom will be on different schedules and require 2 different levels of care. DH isn't exactly known for his patience and he doesn't need to be super stressed on top of little sleep. I think he would take great care of our kids if he was getting sufficient sleep.
2) I don't want to completely change C's life by introducing a new baby and taking him out of daycare all at once. He LOVES daycare and askes us every Sat and Sun morning if he's going that day. He loves his friends and I love that he's getting structure and learning all that he is before he goes to school. I have a really difficult time being ok with making 2 huge changes in his life all at once.
3) DH switching his schedule would have him leaving the house to go to work by 6:20 each night. I don't get off until 5:30. So I would pretty much be walking in the house as he's walking out, leaving me with 2 kids to tend to all evening, all night long, and every morning before I go to work. So I would pretty much be going 24/7. DH doesn't get that I will be up multiple times a night with newborn between nursing/diaper changes/etc. And I won't be able to count on him to help out when he gets off if he's going to get any sleep to be up by the time I leave. So, I will not be getting very good sleep and still have to go about my business every day at work.
DH says switching his shift and keeping both kids home is the only way for it to work. I think we should keep C in daycare and let DH stay home with N and pick C up early each day after nap time. That way he could nap when N naps and only have one crazy little person schedule to deal with at a time. This would still give C his structure and playtime with his friends and assure that he gets a nap every day (a big deal to me that I'm pretty sure DH would not inforce). DH says that in order to do this he would have to go in all of his off nights just to make ends meet (he would be making less with a shift change). I find it a bit ridiculous that we can't find something to cut out to make it work.
Am I being unreasonable to be so bent out of shape about this. It is REALLY stressing me out and he's not seeming to hear what I'm saying, or he's just choosing not to.