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sensitive subject, re: TTC
One couple shouldn't put TTC plans on hold because someone close to them is going through IF, right?
I hate that life isn't fair.
And yes, I'm being vague on purpose. 
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Re: sensitive subject, re: TTC
No, but just be really, really sensitive.
My BFF got pg her first month trying and at that point I was knee deep in treatments. I didn't know she was TTC, so I was so surprised when she told me she was pg and it took me a while to "adjust". I knew I shouldn't be upset, but I was. After about a month, I was OK and it was happily ever after.
I hope everything works out for these folks.
When we found out, I told J that if a friend asked, I wouldn't lie. So our friend asked if we were pg. I said yes and she was SO happy. I told her I was worried to tell her because I didn't want to upset her or her H. She said she was in no way upset and extremely excited for us.
2 weeks later, she was pg.
If I know these people the way I think I do, I think they'd say the exact same thing.
And clearly, if we did get pregnant before they did, we'd never in a million years rub it in their face or even talk about it much unless they asked. Then again, we're pretty private about that stuff anyway. No one IRL knows that we were successful with Ella so quickly - we just don't want anyone who might have had struggles to have to think about it.
I dont think I would. I didnt have IF issues, but had two miscarriages before we had Luke. I had several friends that were pg with me or planning to start a family soon, and it actually made me excited to know that others were going to let us share in the joy of their children through babysitting, seeing them at holidays; etc.
If it were me, I would just be extra sensitive and not announce it to them in a big group.
This is very true. Knowing that my BFF's daughter would be like a niece/family to me was how I got out of my IF-related fog and got excited about her pg. I would never have wanted my BFF not to TTC. I just need time/space to deal with it all.
Thanks - this is exactly the feedback I'm looking for.
My bf has been going through infertility treatments for 3 1/2 years. She was one of the first in our group to start trying and now allmost all of us have kids and she doesn't. I know it's been v. hard now because people are starting to have multiple children and she doesn't have any yet. For her, she doesn't want to feel like people are keeping things from her or that they feel sorry for her. She's already been asking me when we are thinking about TTC #2 and I have been very upfront about what our plans are - I think it makes it easier b/c she can mentally prepare herself. I don't think you should hold off but I would let her know that you were thinking about it. Good Luck - it's a tough conversation to have - hopefully your friend will be pregnant before you (at least that's my hope for when we start TTC again)
I agree. Someone already mentioned it, but I'd like to highlight not to announce when you (I mean this one couple) are pregnant again in a group/crowd situation. That has probably been one of the most difficult situations for myself, trying to hold back and hide the tears. Also, if your friend asks questions be honest, well as open as you feel like being with the TTC process. Also, I don't know how long your friend has been ttc, but it really does suck hearing about #2 being on the way when you're still working on #1. So just be prepared that initially it may be really difficult for your friend.
How cute would a little Ella sibling be though?!?! GL
Ditto here! I didn't have to go through treatments, but while the majority of my friends were getting pg I was TTC without success. It was always hard to hear of another one getting the good news but I never in a million years would have wanted them to not be pg or to have any of the same issues that I had. I was beyond happy for my closest friends and have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my surrogate neices/nephews! Of course I definitely had my "why not me" moments but those were private moments. Now that I'm 7 wks pg, I get all kinds of advice from my friends who have already been there/done that and I'll have plenty of free hand me downs!
Anyway, if you're this concerned about your friend now, its obvious you wouldn't do a na na na na boo boo song and dance, so go for it!!! You're obviously a great friend!