Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Another punch in the gut

I got a call from one of my good friends before I went to work yesterday afternoon letting me know she's pregnant, and due 10 days after I was supposed to be. I was brave on the phone and assured her I was excited for her, which I am. I'm just so sad for me. I hung up the phone and bawled for a good 10 minutes, and then had to go to work. I adore my friend but now every time I see her I'll have a constant reminder of what I lost. DH doesn't understand what the big deal is, which frustrates me even more. I've been doing pretty good emotion-wise for the last week or so and this news totally blew me out of the water. :(

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Re: Another punch in the gut

  • I don't know your story, but my condolences for your lose.

    It can be hard when no one has a clue how much something effects you (I couldnt possibly imagine your pain, I'm just a guy,  but as a soldier who's deployed, and a father whos lost a child, I know the feeling when no one really gets whats going on.)

     

  • I'm so sorry :(  but I think it's normal to be happy for your friend, and still feel sad for your loss.  ((hugs))
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  • I remember the first time someone told me their due date and it was a couple days after mine, after my first loss.  It was just as you describe, like getting punched.  We can steel ourselves for a lot but when something like that comes up it hard to be prepared.  I am now bracing for this too since I know I would have been nearing the end of first tri this week which means others more lucky than me will be making their announcements.  I also have a good friend who is due a week after me and it has been so very painful to watch her continue her pregnancy - just a constant reminder of what we lost.
    DS 04.25.08 DS 03.14.12 missed m/c 9w1d :: 6.18.10 :: d&c | missed m/c 9w3d :: 11.2.10 :: d&c
  • I have 3 friends that are due in the same month as I would have been. It kills me every time.

    And I understand the DH's not understanding part. Every time I give the side-eye, or make a snarky remark about someone being pregnant, he always says "what's the big deal?". It's like COME ON!  

    Just know, we are always here and we'll always understand.

    ::hugs:: 

  • imagelissasue3:

    ((hugs)) I'm so sorry for your loss.  It will get better. 

    I have a friend with a daughter who was born 2 months ago.  Last night it occurred to me that for the rest of our lives I am going to look at their daughter Avery and think that my daughter should be two months younger.  And I'll imagine anything and everything that her future should have been.  Sorry if that's not making you feel better, but just know that you're not alone.  There are people here that will understand you.

    Yeah the sucky part is that I would read posts here and on TTCAL about this same thing and go "Well, at least I don't have to deal with THAT too, that would be really tough." And BAM, now I am.

    I really worry that it will affect our friendship, which would really hurt me. I really hope I'm strong enough that it won't. I feel better this morning, and she and I made plans to go out to lunch on Sunday, so hopefully I will be feeling more secure about it by then. I'm glad you guys understand, but I wish you didn't have to go through this too. :-/ 

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    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
  • One of my closest friends and I found out we were pregnant one day apart and are due one day apart. I found out yesterday that our baby girl has Trisomy 18 in addtition to a host of other life threatening anomolies and no chance for survival after birth (if she even made it that far). I just scheduled my D&E for next week and since I have been dealing with this from the start (at my 12 week screening) all I have thought about is how when her baby is born I will be so sad knowing that my baby should've born then as well and everytime I see her now I just think that I should be that happy and in the same place she is and it just breaks my heart :(

     I'm so sorry for what you are going through and I understand...I hope you find the strength you need to cope with all of this.

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