May 2011 Moms

I might kill dh before the end of this pg

I am not quite sure if he realized that I am getting close to the halfway point in this pregnancy.  We have a ton of work to do on the house before it is ready for baby.  We are moving the office to the guest room and the old office will be the baby's room.

Both rooms have to have the carpet pulled out and replaced with Pergo floors.  (The carpet was trashed when we bought the house.)  The nursery will have to have the walls patched, primered, painted and the ceiling.  (And the previous owners were very rough on their walls.) 

But the biggest problem is all the clutter.  We have to go through it all and get rid of crap.  I can do my crap, but 3/4's of it is his.  It literally wouldn't be safe for a mobile baby.

Any suggestions to get him to get moving on doing stuff around the house?  I will give him credit that he helps out a little more on the daily chores since I am pregnant, but that is it.

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Re: I might kill dh before the end of this pg

  • I gav emy husband a date, and told him it has to be done by then. Then I keep mentioning it. He'll probably be doing it the night before, but it better get done!!
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  • Can you put his clutter in some boxes and just tell him he needs to go through it by a certain date?
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  • Maybe I'd say that you'd really like to get working on a specific project...And if it's not done by a certain date, that give you the liberty to toss what you want! 

    Same with painting...If everything isn't patched by X date, you'll do it, and YOU get to pick the color paint!  And he does the clean-up.

    I like to break things down one at a time, so you don't feel overwhelmed.  So maybe "clean clutter this weekend", "lets patch next weekend", "paint next weekend", etc.  Maybe something like that, where it's not too "ultimatum-ish", but so he will know that it's important to you.

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  • imageelisbu:
    I gav emy husband a date, and told him it has to be done by then. Then I keep mentioning it. He'll probably be doing it the night before, but it better get done!!

    This is a good idea.  Maybe if I make a time line with when I want certain things done by, he will help more. 

    The clutter in boxes things doesn't work for him.  He just leaves them and I eventually get pissed and go through them myself.  But a lot of this stuff isn't just junk I know I can throw out.  We had a dresser in the one room that we got rid of, but now I don't know what to do with all the tools that were in it.

    He says I complain too much and when I am not complaining I am nagging him.  I feel like telling him to grow up and realize that we have under 24 weeks (assuming I go to 40 weeks) to get stuff done and that by the end I won't feel like doing massive nursery renovations.

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  • Oh- and several of my friends either went on bed rest or delivered way early, so remind him that the sooner he gets it done- you can help him with it.  Otherwise, he'll have to do it on his own!

     

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  • I think I will tell him the floors need to be finished by end of Jan so we can start on the walls.  Since we find out the sex Dec 21st, I can order the bedding then and once I have the bedding can decide on a wall color.  So that will be mid-Jan before I even know the wall color.

    Then if the floors are done by the end of Jan, we can get the walls and ceiling done by the end of Feb.  Which will work good since are first shower will be the end of Feb.  So we can start setting the room up as we get stuff.

    Now let's just hope he cooperates.  If all else fails, I will get my parents to help and at least I know the baby's room will get done.

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  • I would set a deadline. my dh has one for what needs to get done. I am not worried cause I know it is on him.

    suggestion ~ I would patch the walls first, then paint then do the floors. you are throwing out the carpet anyway and that will be one less expense of getting drop cloths... just a thought.

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  • With my DH, I tell him if he doesn't do it then I will hire someone to do it. That usually does the trick! Good luck!
  • Oh man.  I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. Everything - the room situation, wall repair, new floors, clutter and the complaining and being called a "nagger".

    My DH is currently not speaking to me because of the same reason.  I am not sure what my next move is. 

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  • imageknicoletti:

    Oh man.  I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. Everything - the room situation, wall repair, new floors, clutter and the complaining and being called a "nagger".

    My DH is currently not speaking to me because of the same reason.  I am not sure what my next move is. 

    Yeah he pretty regularly stops talking to me and there is a lot of deep sighing that goes on.  If you figure out a decent next step just let me know.  My feelings actually get hurt at times because he knows me well enough to know that eventually I will end up having to do it by myself.  I am not the type of person to just let it go.  I should not have to be renovating rooms by myself pregnant.

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  • imageJUSTBEYOURSELF:

    suggestion ~ I would patch the walls first, then paint then do the floors. you are throwing out the carpet anyway and that will be one less expense of getting drop cloths... just a thought.

    I thought of this as well and it would be the smart way to go.  But since I am doing ungender neutral rooms that would mean that we couldn't even start on the flooring until Febish.  I would like to attempt to get the walls, ceiling, and floors done by the end of Feb so we have somewhere to put any gifts we get at our first shower. 

    Plus we have a bunch of drop cloths from other painting projects (that took literally months to complete once he finally got started.)

    ::thinks about the consequences of killing dh:: LOL

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  • imageelisbu:
    I gav emy husband a date, and told him it has to be done by then. Then I keep mentioning it. He'll probably be doing it the night before, but it better get done!!

    This. My husband has to be done with his half of the house by April 1st. After that, his stuff is going into boxes and bags and into the garage for him to deal with...

  • imageJUSTBEYOURSELF:

    I would set a deadline. my dh has one for what needs to get done. I am not worried cause I know it is on him.

    suggestion ~ I would patch the walls first, then paint then do the floors. you are throwing out the carpet anyway and that will be one less expense of getting drop cloths... just a thought.

    I was about the say the same thing.  ALso, I don't know if it's your budget, but tell DH he's got until xyz day and then you'll just hire someone to do it.  I know there are a lot of things around the house that DH can do and he gets aggravated when we have to pay someone to do something he could do himself... that's usually motivates him to get it done. 

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  • imagemmkaye:
    imageknicoletti:

    Oh man.  I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. Everything - the room situation, wall repair, new floors, clutter and the complaining and being called a "nagger".

    My DH is currently not speaking to me because of the same reason.  I am not sure what my next move is. 

    Yeah he pretty regularly stops talking to me and there is a lot of deep sighing that goes on.  If you figure out a decent next step just let me know.  My feelings actually get hurt at times because he knows me well enough to know that eventually I will end up having to do it by myself.  I am not the type of person to just let it go.  I should not have to be renovating rooms by myself pregnant.

    Okay, first of all - Ditto on the subject line. We may end up as jail buddies, as I am at my wit's end trying to get my husband to do anything around the house. I'm still trying to figure out how to convince him to clean up after himself. We'll leave the bigger things like oh... making space and a clean nursery for January.

    I totally agree that you shouldn't be doing renovating alone. I would sit down and talk with him about it and help him make a realistic timeline about when to have everything completed. Then print and post the timeline so that he can look at it, (sometimes a reminder is helpful). Let him know that the baby could come early, so it's better to be over-prepared than under.

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  • this is how i operate.. i state what needs to be done.. and a general time frame of when it needs to be done (month / week) i remind a few times and then i say. i am going to do X on such and such a date it needs to be done or i will throw it away/on the front lawn or anything of the like. or i say, i am calling my dad and having him come do your job. it usually gets done. i've only thrown his stuff on the front porch once because he is a quick learner and knows i will throw all of his beloved crap away if need be hahahaha.
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  • Do you plan to do the Pergo yourself or hire someone?

    My parents do all their own house projects, even wallpaper, but Pergo was the one time they nearly killed each other. They finally gave up and hired someone.

    One of my mother's brothers is a carpenter and he wouldn't even do it when asked. (And they would pay him market rate.)  He just hates working with the stuff. 

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