Dibs on names

kellyloveszach

After all of these posts, it started to wonder how many of us have "dibs" on a name.  I do.  I would be POed if one of my close friends took it.  It's my mom's name and I will be naming my daughter it anyway.  My mom is still alive but went through a big cancer scare and I admired her courage and strength and would love to honor her.  

The name I have dibs on is Kathryn.  My friends can do a variation, I just have dibs on this spelling. 

CanyonMama

Love the name Kathryn. It's on my list, but with a different spelling.

I don't totally get keeping the name secret from everyone because what if someone in your circle picks the same name--not knowing that you planned to use it? If I wanted dibs on a name, I think I'd be putting the word out. I have a few girlfriends keeping their names under wraps so nobody else steals them.   

11kacey

CanyonMama:

Love the name Kathryn. It's on my list, but with a different spelling.

I don't totally get keeping the name secret from everyone because what if someone in your circle picks the same name--not knowing that you planned to use it? If I wanted dibs on a name, I think I'd be putting the word out. I have a few girlfriends keeping their names under wraps so nobody else steals them.   

this exactly. Once we have some names that we are pretty certain with, we will tell our family and close friends. My husband has been pretty good at coming up with the ways that names could be made fun of so we are left with decent, traditional names. 

SierrasMommy

I have no names yet...but I wanted to say that some of my CRAZY friends have already told me they have 'dibs' on names I can't use!! And the best part is, they are not even pregnant (not even close), and the one doesn't even have a bf/hubby! I mean, seriously, I dont even think that is fair! She picked like 2 boy names and a girl name she said I can't use. I am like, what if you don't have two boys? What if you don't have any more kids?? How is that fair? I dont think ppl should be able to 'claim' names for children that may not even exsist ever!!

rsquaredr

SierrasMommy:

I have no names yet...but I wanted to say that some of my CRAZY friends have already told me they have 'dibs' on names I can't use!! And the best part is, they are not even pregnant (not even close), and the one doesn't even have a bf/hubby! I mean, seriously, I dont even think that is fair! She picked like 2 boy names and a girl name she said I can't use. I am like, what if you don't have two boys? What if you don't have any more kids?? How is that fair? I dont think ppl should be able to 'claim' names for children that may not even exsist ever!!

 This exactly.

pinkflipflops44

SierrasMommy:

I have no names yet...but I wanted to say that some of my CRAZY friends have already told me they have 'dibs' on names I can't use!! And the best part is, they are not even pregnant (not even close), and the one doesn't even have a bf/hubby! I mean, seriously, I dont even think that is fair! She picked like 2 boy names and a girl name she said I can't use. I am like, what if you don't have two boys? What if you don't have any more kids?? How is that fair? I dont think ppl should be able to 'claim' names for children that may not even exsist ever!!

Uh the thing is, they can't claim names.  Name your child what you want. 

SierrasMommy

Thanks ladies! I agree...I think it is ridiculous! But the sad thing is, they would probably not even talk to me if I 'stole' their names! Luckily, I don't LOVE anything they picked and neither does DH, but I swear if I pick a name I love and they say THEY picked it I will seriously go off on them!

Ceridwen21

I'm not telling anyone "our names" because if they should happen to use them before I do, at least I will know that they genuinely loved the name and did not choose it to spite me or something stupid.  I will be happy for my friend, not bitter.  And I will choose another name.

That's my logic.

alohamora

I don't understand "dibs" on names for children that don't exist either, especially when the name is very common.  For example, OP, I understand that Kathryn is your mother's name and that means a lot to you, and I guess it might be a faux paus if a friend used it knowing that, but honestly, Kathryn is a very common name. 

I personally would never announce my names in efforts to keep my friends from using them.  

JenWen3

I don't believe in any form of dibs calling on names. I think the idea of it is ridculous and selfish.

magsugar13

I would say girls that have dibs on baby names are the same girls who had dibs on their wedding date....you know the ones where no one can get married the same month? Day? season?

NicoleWI

I don't understand this. People can name their kid the same thing as mine--it just might happen that way. I don't expect my kid to be the ONLY one with his/her name.

kellyloveszach

The way I look at it is there are millions of names out there so why use the exact same one as I want.  If I had a giant list of dibs names then it would be unreasonable.  Unless it's a family name for them too, then it's fair game.  This only applies to really close friends that I hang out with all of the time and have been in my life for years.  

AJBMD915

If I (or a friend) had chosen a name and was pregnant, then yes, I'd say it would be nice for the other person to not use it.  My best friend called dibs on "Lucy" while DH and I were picking names for DD 2 years ago.  When I told her which names were in our top 5 she begged me not to use it.  We didn't, but not because of her.  She wasn't even pregnant.  We're both pregnant now and has said that Lucy is the name if it's a girl.  DH and I both liked it this time but since she's pregnant we were happy to let it go. 

barnwife

Sorry, but I don't think you can call dibs on names. People can name their kids what they want. Even if a friend would use Kathryn (in your case) you would still be free to use it.

magsugar13

Really people need to get over themselves....you do realize that there are millions of people with the same names.

KallieandJustin

We are dealing with the same issue right now with a friend who likely won't get pregnant for another 4-5 years.  We haven't ruled the name out yet, and she said we were free to use it (bitterly I might add...after 3 days of not talking to me) but honestly, there are a LOT of 'if's' involved....if we have a girl, if she gets pregnant, if she has a girl, if they still like that name in 4-5 years......if its a name I like, I am going to likely use it.  Our kids would see eachother maybe 2-4 times per year anyways! 

TiffaniMay

Kathryn is one of my stepdaughters' names.

erinms

My one exception is that I have dibs between my sister and I.  We have each shared names that we want to use, and I would never use one of her 2 favorite names, and she would never use my 2 favorite names. 

I would never call dibs with anyone else but I feel like it is OK between close sisters, since we both agree.

We also just don't share names with other people, and if anyone else used our favorite names, it just wouldn't bother me.

msmerymac

I have absolutely no worries about this, as my husband and I still have a long list of names we'd consider and we're not yet pregnant. However, the ONLY time I could see this being an issue is if one of your siblings wanted to use it. Maybe a cousin with the same last name. Having 2 grand kids with the same name would be odd and confusing. Your cousin three times removed? A friend you might not see in 10 years? No way.

loveyoubean

Obviously it is your name so do what you want and my opinion should not matter at all to you, but Kathryn is terrible-- the "y" is totally unnecessary, trendy, and so so so overdone.  Lose the y, it is a gorgeous name spelled the "regular' way.

starlight8323

loveyoubean:

Obviously it is your name so do what you want and my opinion should not matter at all to you, but Kathryn is terrible-- the "y" is totally unnecessary, trendy, and so so so overdone.  Lose the y, it is a gorgeous name spelled the "regular' way.

::headdesk:: 

Did you realize you are on the baby names board?

At the top of the screen on the board, it says, "Want fellow Bumpies to weigh in on your names? Post them here." In other words, people only post here if they do want our opinions. You don't have to write a disclaimer every time you don't like a name here.

Regarding the spelling of Kathryn, I see what you are saying, and in most cases I would agree. But I think in this case, the misspelling is justified. If she changes it, it would be like she was saying, "I'm naming my daughter after you, because I admire your strength and want to honor you. But the spelling of your name is wrong and looks dumb, so I'm changing it."

Now, then... as for the topic at hand.

 

Ceridwen21:

I'm not telling anyone "our names" because if they should happen to use them before I do, at least I will know that they genuinely loved the name and did not choose it to spite me or something stupid.  I will be happy for my friend, not bitter.  And I will choose another name.

That's my logic.

This is freaking beautiful.

I have always been on the "don't share names" side, but I don't think I've ever thought of it exactly that way!

 

magsugar13:

I would say girls that have dibs on baby names are the same girls who had dibs on their wedding date....you know the ones where no one can get married the same month? Day? season?

Season? haha. What kind of girls do you hang out with?

MBfromBMC

I totally called dibs on names!  I talked my sister out of naming her dog Charlie because we are considering that for a boy!

KeriMichaelMarie

1. Calm down.

2. Name your kid anything you want.

3. "Dibs" doesn't exist in names.

BerlinMum

I think the idea of calling dibs on names is sort of silly, but I know how frustrating it can be to have your favorite name used by someone else. In my case it's my cousin, she has 3 beautiful daughters and she's managed to name each of them with a name I also would have liked to use for my future daughter! Of course we never discussed names and I would never tell her "YOU STOLE MY NAME!!" but I do have to laugh about the fact that our tastes are SO similar!

But as the saying goes "first come, first serve!"