miscarriage and body image

arwo

I had a miscarriage about a month ago. The pregnancy was not planned; I was less than five weeks along, and I didn't know about the pregnancy until I lost it. Nevertheless, the experience was extremely traumatic for me, as I am sure that you all are able to understand.

One of the problems I am having now is with body image. I know I am not overweight. I am an athlete, I run about 40 miles a week. But I suddenly hate my body. I don't like to see myself in a mirror, or in pictures; when I do, I feel disgusted and...maybe betrayed? (I don't know if that's quite right, but it's something along those lines.) I feel heavy and unattractive. I find myself not wanting to eat, not because of lack of appetite, but because I feel like I don't deserve the food. When I do eat, I feel guilty.

I have NEVER had this kind of problem before. I have always prided myself on having a healthy relationship with my body, and with food. I am going to see a counselor in a few weeks (it was the first appointment I could get) but I am worried that this is going to get worse before then. Has anyone else had this problem? Besides forcing myself to eat, and seeing a counselor, what can I do?

kamelendez

I am so sorry for your loss. I have had body image problems for most of my life. I have to pretty much force myself to eat daily...I've dealt with the problem and know I need to be healthy. When I got pregnant I took pride in how my six pack was starting to round out a little. I lost my little one at 8 weeks. I'm having problems with how I look now too. I think its because our hormones are not normal yet. Just remember to eat healthy and not to over work your body. It just went through something very strenuous. I hope get back your healthy relationship with your body.

arwo

Thank you for the response. It's been so frustrating. The whole experience has been so horrible, and confusing, and lonely, and I feel like the guilt associated with eating is making it that much worse. I've also been having really terrible insomnia (I'm averaging about 4 hours of sleep per night) and I just wonder sometimes how I am ever supposed to feel OK emotionally when I can't take care of myself physically.

I hope you are able to stay healthy. I'm sorry that you had to go through this.

kamelendez

I'm also so sorry for you. I too am having problems with insomnia. I hadn't been sleeping at all. Its just that I can't shut my mind off when I try to sleep. I think a lot of people are dealing with this. I hope you start to feel better soon.