-This has probably been posted before.. but every time I read it I'm touched. Just thought I'd share in case some haven't read it.
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but becauseI have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my chid.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that I have been given this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that I am led to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire an hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
Re: XP: A little encouragement.
I hadn't read this before - its awesome! Much needed encouragement. Thank you for sharing
Wow. This is incredible. I haven't read this before, but it's totally what I needed tonight. Thank you.
You are very welcome
I'm so glad to hear that!
Keep your chin up girl.
Diagnosed PCOS 2/07, TTC #1 since 8/09
11/10 - Clomid Round 1 = BFN
12/10 - Clomid Round 2 = BFN
1/11 - Voluntary Break = BFN (duh)
2/11 - Clomid Round 3 = BFN
3/11 - Femara + IUI = BFP * Beta#1=56 * Beta#2=266
*Cautiously expecting baby girls on November 28, 2011*
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I love this! Did you write this or do you have the source?
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
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TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7
FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
*~PAIFW/SAIFW~*
Ovarian cancer survivor
DH= low motility
2/9/11 lap & hysteroscopy- uterine polyp & scar tissue removed
3/25/11 IUI#1= BFP m/c; D&C at 7w3d (Trisomy 16)
IUIs #2, #3, #4 and #5= BFNs
Onto IVF #1= BFN
FET 4/6/12= 2 extended blasts transferred, with one hatching
Beta 1= 607; Beta 2= 1,564; Beta 3= 24,439; Beta 4= over 64,000
First u/s on 5/10= TWINS! Heartbeats 158 and 160!
It's a boy and a girl!
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Huge congrats to my beautiful BFPB lmj8284, due June 2012!
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -FDR