Can tell friends/family have little faith b/c of comments

mariat

On occasion a friend will say something nice like "I just know it will happen to you when the time is right"....and though of course no one knows what is in store, it's still nice to know that someone has a little faith in me and my family.

BUT most of our friends no longer say these things to us...and I'm starting to notice from comments from my family that they too have just assumed that this is it for us. 

No one asks anymore if we are trying for another. No one mentions any words of encouragement - not our parents, nor our siblings or in-laws and now even the children have followed suit.

Just yesterday my not-so-young/naive nephew was talking about all the cousins from oldest (he) to the youngest and how he's looking forward to new cousins from another aunt of his - who is not pregnant mind you...but everyone knows they are looking to expand their family too with another child...It's just assumed it will happen for them...and it is also just assumed that we will stay a happy little family of three and that's that.

I know these comments are made innocently but still it stings and I really, really want to prove everyone wrong.

Sorry just need to vent/cry a little...thanks. 

itsmevkb

I'm sorry.  I don't know what is worse, to have people just assume it won't happen or to have people remind you to be thankful for the child/ren you already have.

In the end it only matters what you believe will happen.  I hope something happens for you soon and that your family becomes more supportive.

mariat

Thank you....I realize in some ways it's a no-win situation.  On one hand you don't want people constantly talking about it and adding pressure asking when you're going to give your child a baby brother or sister...and on the other hand you don't want them to give up on you either.

still it would be nice to have a little support or encouragement....but I'm grateful for the kind words and support I get here.

thanks again and all the best to you and your family

AmandaMacD

I'm so sorry.  IF sucks plain and simple.  There is never the right or wrong thing to say b/c most of the people in our lives have never been in our shoes.  Your family is avoiding bringing up additional children at all costs to spare your feelings, I'm sure they think they are being helpful, even though it hurts.  And it is hurtful to hear their conversation involve someone else's unconceived child....it really is a no win.  Unfortunately, I've learned to bite my tounge....or at least I try
Hang in there...I hope you get your BFP soon!

Pixiestx

mariat:

Thank you....I realize in some ways it's a no-win situation.  On one hand you don't want people constantly talking about it and adding pressure asking when you're going to give your child a baby brother or sister...and on the other hand you don't want them to give up on you either.

still it would be nice to have a little support or encouragement....but I'm grateful for the kind words and support I get here.

thanks again and all the best to you and your family

That's what I always think when I read about women who get comments about having more.  People asked all the time before I got pg the 2nd time. Now in the last year no one asks and while it sucks to be reminded that you can't just get pg, it also sucks to feel you are treated differently.  But I think I've learned that in general, most people just don't know how much is ok to say.