Parenting after 35

NBR: Is anyone a Family Law Attorney?

If so, are you familiar with parental alienation or parental alienation syndrome? What, if anything, can be done?

My son & my ex are both exhibiting the attitudes/behaviors of severe PSA.

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Re: NBR: Is anyone a Family Law Attorney?

  • I'm not an attorney (sorry I couldn't help on that side), but have you checked out the website www.bringseanhome.org?  They talk a lot about parental alienation.  You might have seen this group on CNN or the Today Show.  This website focuses on cases where children were taken by one parent to another country.  I know this isn't your case, but there have been lots of posts about PA and one of them might be able to steer you to some good resources.  I hope this helps - you guys are still in my T & Ps.
  • I hadn't run across that website, but I will take a look. Thanks!

    I didn't even realize this existed until I ran across it on an attorney's website. It's pretty scary that the behaviors match my son & ex to a T!

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  • Yeah - it is pretty scary to think about the exs' say to the kiddos.  And the poor kiddos are stuck in the middle - they are taught to believe their parents.  You might post this question on the blended families board - they might be able to shed some more ideas.
  • I actually just did post on Blended Families. Maybe someone on that board has some advice for me.
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  • No advice but wanted to give you my support.

    Divorce is ugly. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

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  • Thanks, Kari. It's amazing that all of this is happening and the divorce was over 5 years ago. I believe I was married to the devil...he is at least a close relative.
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  • imageShannonL.K:
    Thanks, Kari. It's amazing that all of this is happening and the divorce was over 5 years ago. I believe I was married to the devil...he is at least a close relative.

    Yea, that does seem weird that this agression is coming out 5 yrs later. Or has he always been this way? Isn't he remarried? I would think he could focus positively on his new life? Not making excuses for him but, maybe his new wife wants you completely out of the picture due to her own insecurities?

    My life was hell when my ex re-married. She was very controlling and manipulative. She played head games with my daughter. They're now divorced and dealing with my ex is now "normal" - lol, in a dysfunctional way.  

    Robby's Blog

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    Biggest - 13 years old

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  • He has always been a control freak?even when we were married. I don?t think he ever got over the fact that I left him?big blow to his inflated ego. He has wanted me to ?pay? ever since then. He actually told my boys that I cheated on him, which I didn?t do?he is a liar and a manipulator. He makes up his own reality and believes it. He believes rules don?t apply to him. These are are signs of a PAS parent. Bottom line?he has mental problems. Yes, he is remarried and has a child. She doesn?t help matters, that?s for sure.

     

    This is really hard. According to what I?ve been reading this is child abuse, but because you can?t outwardly see the signs it is very difficult to prove. Children who are subjected to this can have some serious emotional problems later in life. I really have to find some help on how to deal with this?

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  • No advice, but you have my support Shannon.

    As the only child of an ugly divorce and even uglier marriage, I thank my lucky stars that my parents never once tried to turn me against each other. 

    Fingers crossed that your ex pulls his head out and your kids get through all of this ok.

  • Thanks, Heather. I appreciate it.
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  • I am not familar with this either but I did a google search and found this website  https://www.parentalalienation.org/  It looks like a place to sell books but the books might be helpful. 

    Here are some other sites

    https://www.paawareness.org/

    https://www.keepingfamiliesconnected.org/

    https://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm

    https://www.stopparentalalienation.org/

    I have seen the results of this but I never knew it had a name.  Good luck with this. 

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  • imagevanverth:

    I am not familar with this either but I did a google search and found this website  https://www.parentalalienation.org/  It looks like a place to sell books but the books might be helpful. 

    Here are some other sites

    https://www.paawareness.org/

    https://www.keepingfamiliesconnected.org/

    https://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm

    https://www.stopparentalalienation.org/

    I have seen the results of this but I never knew it had a name.  Good luck with this. 

    What kind of results have you seen?

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  • I have seen that the kids often due figure out that what they have been told is a lie and then they are angry with the parent who did the lying. 

    What is the court ordered visitation?  You may have to take him back to court to get your visitation. 

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  • Court ordered visitation is for us to have them during the summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas and spring break.

    I received a text from my youngest son last night. He said that if his older brother isn't coming for Christmas then he isn't coming.

    So yes, it looks like I will be faced with going to court. We've been able to avoid that until now. I don't currently have an attorney. We were supposed to get them 1 month from today. Is there anything that can be done in this short of a time frame?

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  • I am not sure.  I am not an attorney, just your friendly neighborhood therapist.

    I think I missed what the drama your oldest son has with you.

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