TTC After a Loss

cried before FWP last night

sigh... I didn't realize that being on clomid put so much pressure (on me) on this working for us right now.... Because we are taking it I feel like we have to get it all right and do everything we can to get that freaking BFP.... I want a sticky baby... I just didnt know it was going to feel so stressful... I feel like I am putting pressure on DH by saying oh by the way tonight we have to BD...

I was angry when I went to bed and then teary when DH came to bed... Thank God for him because he was willing to talk it all out with me and tell me it was all going to work no matter what and that I just had to relax and realize he wanted this baby too and he would do what needed done and it would all be ok...

I just don't get why this can't be easy... women have been birthing babies for ages why is it so hard for all of us????

BFP #1 04/05/10 EDD 12/11/10 Missed M/C 7w found out at 12w5d You're so missed LO BFP #2 11/27/10 EDD 08/07/11.. Diagnosed with IC 03/17/11 Cerclage put in place 03/21/11 Madilynn Mae born 7/26/11

Re: cried before FWP last night

  • I'm so sorry :(

    I am scared of this too. I'm afraid that from now on it will always be in the back of our minds, that this act led to us losing a baby. I'm sure we all wish that we could go back to the time when we had no idea what FWP or BD even meant. I wish I could be naive again...

    Sigh. Hang in there.

    Baby Blog
    BFP#1 5.27.10 DS became an angel at 21 weeks on 9.22.10
    BFP#2 4.16.11 Healthy baby girl born 12.14.11
    BFP#3 9.3.12 A healthy, bouncing baby SISTER on the way! EDD 5.12.13

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  • I think that TTCAL FWP is the most stressful kind of FWP.  I thought that I put pressure on myself before Bryce, but I have completely gone off the deep end subconsciously when it comes to timing sex correctly.  With time, that will go away.  Who knows, hopefully you'll get KU up this month and worrying about all of this will be a thing of the past!
    BFP #1 - Twin B lost at 5w
    Bryce Addison  I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
    Our baby boy was born sleeping on 9.17.10. He was 19w1d.
    BFP #2 - Twin B lost at 4w
    Twin A
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    BFP #3 - Lost at 5w
    BFP #4 - Lost at 4w
    BFP #5
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  • I'm sorry ((((hugs))))

    I feel the same way - I start my first round of Clomid as soon as AF shows (hopefully any day now) and I am so anxious about it, feeling like I need to prepare myself now so that we can do everything possible and right this cycle. It's a lot of pressure and I hate that *sigh*

    Best of luck to all of us!

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry.  I really wish we were all FHs and didn't need to be here. It is completely unfair. ((Hugs))
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    BFP 1: 3/19/10 Loss: 7/9/10
    BFP 2: 12/28/10
    My Blog: Losing Sylvia
  • I know exactly what you mean, ttcal is just so much pressure, its hard to believe that there was ever a time when it didn't seem difficult and its so unfair that some people have it easy and some have to go through so much to have a baby. I'm so glad your DH is so supportive. The only positive spin I can find in any of this is that after all the sh!t we've all been through just trying to get pg (and stay that way), that as a couple we'll be much more prepared emotionally to handle the ups and downs of being a new parent. I'm trying to keep that in mind but it seems like a shot in the dark, I keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel but some days it just feels neverending. *hugs*

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  • Wow...we once again are on the same page! Only I cried after FWP. I completely understand what you mean, and I hope you do not feel alone. I hate the stress this all causes, but it's something I want so badly. I can't even explain it. I'm glad your husband is so great with you. Just goes to show you two truly deserve a little take-home baby!
  • I'm so sorry that you cried.  It has got to be tons of pressure and it's no wonder the tears leaked out!  We're going to begin TTC this cycle (it's CD1) and I've been really looking forward to trying again, but I'm scared too.  I'm thinking that a nice glass or two of wine will be required before FWP to calm the nerves.  Best of luck - I hope you guys knocked it out of the park on your first try!

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