Moms with 2U2 already.... I need help!

pawleygirl77

JD is currently in a mean phase. He loves his sister. He loves to see her in the mornings, kiss her goodnight and play with her throughout the day. But during that play time he's just so darn mean!

Yesterday, for example, was terrible! In the morning he tried to run over her with his bike (he could have easily gone around her but steered right for her instead), a little later the toilet was running so I left for about 10 seconds to jiggle the handle...when I returned he was standing on her back bouncing up and down, later he tried to smother her with his pillow and after that he was running by her in the kitchen and he grabbed her by the head (she was sitting on the kitchen floor) making her face smash into the floor. This was in addition to the normal kicking, pushing, hitting, etc.

Not all days are this bad but every single day he goes to time out multiple times for pushing Allie down or kicking her.

I'm able to prevent a lot of the abuse just because I can see it coming but when I'm not fast enough he gets put into time out and sometimes gets sent to his room. It doesn't really phase him. I talk and talk all day long about kindness and he definitely knows the difference between nice touches and mean touches.

Oh! And it's not just Allie. Yesterday he was sitting on my lap while Allie was napping. We were playing with a toy microphone and having a great time when he all of a sudden hit me in the face with the microphone...hard!

So, do any of you have any creative solutions? I'm about at my wits end. It makes me so mad when he does stuff like this!

 

outdoorsygirl123

We've been going through similar issues. Not quite as mean, but pretty close. DS is almost 2.5 and DD is almost 16 months. They generally play great together but they definitely have their moments.

I find myself repeating over and over and over again "be nice", "share", "take turns", etc. ::sigh:: it's getting pretty old.

It doesn't help either when DD giggles if he shoves her down. 

I don't have any solutions for you.I've tried time out, he thinks it's funny. DH swats him on his bottom if he is home and that usually cures it (no flames please....)

**Have you tried 1, 2, 3 Magic? I'm just starting to read it but I've heard great things about it. 

pawleygirl77

outdoorsygirl123:

We've been going through similar issues. Not quite as mean, but pretty close. DS is almost 2.5 and DD is almost 16 months. They generally play great together but they definitely have their moments.

I find myself repeating over and over and over again "be nice", "share", "take turns", etc. ::sigh:: it's getting pretty old.

It doesn't help either when DD giggles if he shoves her down. 

I don't have any solutions for you.I've tried time out, he thinks it's funny. DH swats him on his bottom if he is home and that usually cures it (no flames please....)

**Have you tried 1, 2, 3 Magic? I'm just starting to read it but I've heard great things about it. 

No flames from me. I'll swat him on the butt if he really hurts her and he doesn't really like that too much but it's not something I want to do regularly.

I haven't tried 1-2-3 Magic. Maybe I'll look into that....

outdoorsygirl123

pawleygirl77:

outdoorsygirl123:

We've been going through similar issues. Not quite as mean, but pretty close. DS is almost 2.5 and DD is almost 16 months. They generally play great together but they definitely have their moments.

I find myself repeating over and over and over again "be nice", "share", "take turns", etc. ::sigh:: it's getting pretty old.

It doesn't help either when DD giggles if he shoves her down. 

I don't have any solutions for you.I've tried time out, he thinks it's funny. DH swats him on his bottom if he is home and that usually cures it (no flames please....)

**Have you tried 1, 2, 3 Magic? I'm just starting to read it but I've heard great things about it. 

No flames from me. I'll swat him on the butt if he really hurts her and he doesn't really like that too much but it's not something I want to do regularly.

I haven't tried 1-2-3 Magic. Maybe I'll look into that....

Same here. It doesn't happen often but he recently tried pulling her out of his cruiser car by the head when she sat down in it =/

 

mlf625

We're going the time out route.  The SECOND I see any aggressiveness, I pick DS up and put him in his crib for a time out.  When he calms down, I bring him back and have him apologize to his sister (or me, or daddy, or the dog....)  I haven't seen much progress yet but I'm hoping eventually this will help.  He's very sweet to his sister 90% of the time but will take a whack/scratch/kick here and there.

LizK507

I'm a few weeks away from having 2u2 still, but I have been talking to our pediatrician a lot about this. She commented that each toddler responds differently to various forms of discipline, so some kiddos may just not respond well to time-outs. If time-outs don't work, perhaps other options (e.g. taking away privileges like toys) will work better with your little guy so he sees immediate consequences in a way that are more meaningful.

I know this is also common sense, but in my nanny days (and now with a young toddler), I can't stress positive feedback enough. If you point out every single tiny thing that he does well, it may encourage that behavior more and help discourage behavior that you're trying to avoid.

Best of luck, I'm sure I'll be needing plenty of advice in the very near future!