WDYD about people favoring one over the other

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DH said he's noticed a family member favoring one baby over the other.  Is there anyway we can even this out w/o actually saying, "hey, you're favoring ________, knock it off"?  Opinions? 

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we dealt with this when the twins first started daycare - i felt Gibby was getting more attention and love b/c he's an easier baby- and it broke my heart to think of Gray ever understanding that it was happening at some point in life.

We were going to talk to the teachers- but then it seemed to stop - or maybe it was all in our heads to begin with and we got over it.... either way - we never discussed it with them - but will if we feel a need again.

My family is very even with the kids - but if there was outright favoring going on I'd pull that person aside and say "I'm really glad you love ChildXYZ so much- but it sort of shows that he's your favorite and I just worry that ChildABC will notice and feel left out...  and maybe i'm just being a crazy mom about it- but could you make an effort to be more equal with them?".... and hope they do.  If not- you simply have to deal with it at the child level.

 

daisybride78

I'm always very open and blunt about it. At least to my family....but I am comfortable being blunt with them. I try to be silly about it and will say, "no playing favorites!" and then make them give the other baby lots of attention. I don't think people even realize they are doing it. I am just hyper sensitive about it. If I'm ever holding/snuggling one and catch the other one looking at me, I instantly feel guilty and make an effort to pick that one up next and give him just as many kisses and snuggles. I feel like I'm going to struggle with this forever. I want them both to feel equally loved!

cauli001

I agree with daisy - I am blunt about it.  My dad tends to favor DS because he never had a son, and the boy looks just like his grandpa! I always (in a nice way) tell my dad to make sure he pics up cam and loves her too! I am constantly switching between the two because I want things to be as equal as possible!~

sugardrive

I'm glad you posted this...I'd like to get some tips too.  My dad has openly said that DD2 is his favorite.  Kinda broke my heart when he said that.  I never want my littles to feel unequal with love.