if there is a trophy for mother of the year, I will hold the title forever — The Bump
Seattle Babies

if there is a trophy for mother of the year, I will hold the title forever

I cant even believe this happened to me and I will never forgive myself. I lost Kai this evening TOT. I turned my head for just a moment when going to the door of my mothers house and when I looked back there was only one child. 

Eli was ready to ring the doorbell and Kai was gone. My mom came to the door and I asked her if Kai was inside already and she said no. with in seconds my family was looking for him everywhere outside. My mom lives in a quldesac (sp?) in the back so there want a ton of places he could have went, but he wasn't in any of them. 

At this point I was absolutely hysterical and screaming like a crazy woman. This got all the neighbors out of their houses and they all started to look for him too. My mom was running around looking for Kai and calling the police at the same time. strangers TOT ing with their kids started looking for him. I was running and screaming looking in people backyards, I am soaked cause I jumped into my parents pond, the neighbors pond I looked everywhere. All I can remember now is that it was so dark outside and how I needed lights. 

what felt like eternity (was realistically anywhere from 5-10 minutes) and I wanted to die. I lost my child. I was going to be one of those parents who will never know what happened to their baby. or worse when daylight came we would find him and he would be gone and it was all my fault. Kai then casually walked around the corner of the neighbors house and said hi mommy and laughed and gave me a hug. 

You guys I am still just completely shaken. my throat hurts from screaming and I lost the entire contents of the last two days worth of food in the neighbors front yard. I cant believe this all happened and I feel like a complete and under failure as a parent. what kind of parent loses their 2 year old in the dark. 

I will never be able to thank all the neighbors and strangers and parents and teenagers who all took the time to help search. everyone was calling his name and it was like time stopped and TOTing was forgotten while everyone looked for Kai. 

I called Brian, remember he left for 3 weeks this morning, and just completely broke down telling him what happened.He was so kind and said all the right things I needed to hear but he will never understand the fear I was in and the helplessness that I felt. 

anyway thank you for letting me ramble, I don't think I will be myself again for days. and everyone hug your kids extra tight tonight cause it literally only took a second and I almost lost one.
Dawn - Wife of Brian 09/25/2005 - Mother of Eli Jace 03/12/2007 and Kai Evan 10/17/08

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Re: if there is a trophy for mother of the year, I will hold the title forever

  • oh my gosh, Dawn, how scary!  You are not a bad mom!  Kids wander off all the time, and you're right it only takes a second.   Thankfully Kai was unfazed!  Hope you can have a glass of wine after the kids are in bed! 
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  • HUGS! You are not a bad mom, things happen and I'm so glad he was found and okay! I'm so sorry that happened, I cant even imagine the feeling you must have had.
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  • Oh no!  That's all our worst nightmares I'm sure.  I'm so glad you got him back safe and sound!!  That was really nice of the neighborhood to pitch in like that, a lot of times people don't care enough to get involved. 

    Don't beat yourself up too much, it could happen to anyone.  So glad you're all together again!  :)

    -Deborah
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  • image greenmtbride:
    oh my gosh, Dawn, how scary!  You are not a bad mom!  Kids wander off all the time, and you're right it only takes a second.   Thankfully Kai was unfazed!  Hope you can have a glass of wine after the kids are in bed! 

    This. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Your post made me cry because I can imagine your terror, I really can! I am so glad Kai is safe and sound. I hope you can forgive yourself, and know that you are NOT a bad mom!!

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  • Oh Dawn, that brings tears to my eyes, I can't even imagine how terrifying that must have been.

    I'm so glad you found him and he's ok and nothing terrible happened.  And, you are a great mom, don't ever doubt that!!

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  • Thanks you Jesus he is okay! I am so sorry! Try not to beat yourself up to much.
  • Wow, what a rough night for you guys!  I'm really glad that everything is okay.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  I'm totally impressed that you waded through all the ponds.  Hugs.
  • Wow!  I am so sorry this happened to you!   I would be completely terrified!  Try not to be so hard on yourself, 2 year olds are like ninjas, it could have happened to any of us!
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  • Oh my gosh, that must have been the scariest minutes of your life.  So glad he is ok.  What was Eli's reaction to it all?  I hope you have a bottle of wine or beer to help you relax from all of it.
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  • Big hugs.  These crazy things happen, no matter how careful we are.  But this is a good reminder that 99.9999% of the time, everything turns out for the best.  I can't even imagine what you went through, but you are all safe and sound!
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  • That's so scary! I'm sure how you're describing your panic cannot even BEGIN to really explain. :-( You are not a terrible mother, kids run off all the time, you noticed right away and you are so lucky you had people to help! Try not to beat yourself up over this, you are a wonderful mother, Kai and Eli are lucky, lucky boys to have you for a mom!
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  • Oh Dawn that brings tears to my eyes just reading the fear you must have been going through! Huge hugs to you & I am so glad he is ok. Now time for Mom to rest up with a nice glass of wine and try to relax!
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  • You must have been scared out of your mind!!   But you are not a bad mommy and you know it!  He was safe.  It's all ok!  You are a good mommy.  I hope your boys are tucked in safe and sound and you are drinking a bottle of wine!
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  • I'm so glad that you are all safe and sound.  That must have been terrifying.  But everyone is right, you are a good mommy.  Hug them tight!
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  • I'm so glad to hear everything turned out just right.  Big hugs!

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  • image ~Lynchie~:
    Wow!  I am so sorry this happened to you!   I would be completely terrified!  Try not to be so hard on yourself, 2 year olds are like ninjas, it could have happened to any of us!

    This, I'm so glad everything is okay.

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  • How scary!!!  I'm so glad he's ok.  It could have happened to anyone.  You are definitely NOT a bad mom!
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  • HUGS Dawn!  What a rough start to Brian's departure!  Cruz disappeared at my mom's house outside once in the daylight and I remember thinking all those things you said!  I'm so glad he is safe and sound!

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  • OMG how scary!!  I'm so glad that he's okay!  And I hope you can forgive yourself!
  • That is every mom's worst nightmare.  It can happen to anyone.  It's like they disappear.  We lost Tillman for just a few seconds when he was 2.5 in Leavenworth at Christmas (when it's totally packed) and the dread that came over me in just that short amount of time was unreal. 

    I am so glad you found him and that he was fine.  

    I'm sorry you had to deal with it without Brian.  That would be so much harder, I'm sure.

    Try to forgive yourself and forget about it.  You weren't being negligent, they vanish!  

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  • Oh Dawn ((HUGS)) you are not a bad mom.  I'm sorry you had to go through all of that though.  Glad Kia is safe and with you now.  That's one of my biggest fears, so I can only imagine the stress, pain and worry you went through.
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  • Awwww, lady you are NOT  bad mom!!  It could happen to anyone!!  So glad it turned out okay!!
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