Feeling like pouting just a little... — The Bump
Military Families

Feeling like pouting just a little...

I miss my hubby Sad and I just don't feel like pretending I'm super strong today.  His deployment doesn't start for a few months, but the 3 week out-of-state trainings are taking their toll on my hormones already.  I am fine with being alone for an extended period of time, we were engaged and living together when before he joined and was gone for 6months of basic training and AIT, but I just can't help but get a little down and pouty now and then. If you don't want to listen to me whine, stop reading now. (You've been warned.)

I am soooo happy for all the ladies that get to have their amazing husbands with them every morning and every night. But that doesn't make it any easier to read their posts about all the sweet things their DH is doing and saying on an hourly basis. I just want my tummy kissed and caressed. And I want to be able to call him when I absolutely MUST have a deli sub and know that only a sigh and a few minutes are standing between me, my man and that delicious treat! I am planning on soaking up every second of the 4 days he will be home for in a couple weeks, but I still want him here with me now. I know it will be much harder to have him away when I'm worrying about his safety, too, but I try not to focus on that time until I have to. I have a great family who lives close by and friends who I know are here for me, and I know I will need to be strong for my hubs, myself and our LO.  But none of that equals hugs and kisses and cuddle time. My pregnant self just wants to be pampered and doted on just for a little while.

Done pouting.  Thanks for listening.

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Re: Feeling like pouting just a little...

  • i completely understand. my husband and i conceived when he came home from leave and i noticed i missed him was more once i was pg. i just felt the need to be touched and held way more than usual. it helped me to look at the big picture this is now and i miss him but we will be home soon & we will have a life time together. i try and focus on my faith, and that it is only temporary. and i believe that while most women do have their husbands there, when they want them that fact that i dont will help me not to take him for granted when he his here. he will be home before you know it. you can vent all you want=)
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  • I am completely with you on the out and in training. The gone 3 weeks, home for 1 week was in some ways worse than the actual deployment. It must be even worse when PG, ours is a homecoming baby, so I have no similar experience on what it is like while PG. Just try and keep your spirits up and stay busy to help the time fly by.
    Long time Waiting BFP 5/8/10 It's a Boy! 1/7/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Graphics
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  • Thanks, ladies! I am really thankful for this board. It's so nice to be able to tell someone my feelings who actually knows what these times apart are like. My friends and family just say "it'll be okay" and then get quiet. I know they are trying to help, but sometimes I just want to be able to let it all out without feeling guilty myself for making them listen to me cry.  I had an emotional hormone moment over skype with my mom yesterday when she told me she didn't want to come over to visit because my dad would be home from work soon and she "missed her husband".  And I totally get that because my dad and husband work at the same place on the same schedule (hubby is reserves), so I know how much you can miss a man you still get to sleep in bed with every night if you don't see each other during the day, but like a third grader, I just want to scream "but I miss mine more!!" The tears would have lasted longer, but have you ever watched yourself cry on camera? Not pretty! lol

    I know there are tougher times ahead. I'm definately NOT looking forward to giving birth without the hubs by my side, but I know he will be thinking of me and wishing he could be there as much I will, so I try not to bring that up too often to him.  I am very happy to have this LO growing inside me, reminding me everyday of my wonderful husband. Does sort of change the plan I had for dancing my butt of at the bar with my friends when hubby was away, though! haha

    Now it's nursery making and major scrapbooking to pass the time! WooWoo! Wild times at the pregnant lady's house!

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  • Its okay to want to pout. . . Heck, it's even okay to actually pout (sometimes!). I understand how you feel. My DH left for three months of training before his 12 month deployment when I was about 20 weeks along. I never felt good (in retrospect, I now realize that I was actually quite sick and probably depressed, too). All I wanted was my DH. I wanted him to be there to hold my hand at appointments, to feel the baby kick, to run to Dairy Queen for blizzards and, most of all, to be there when our son came into the world. It is lonely when you are pregnant and your DH is not there, and won't be there for a while. IMO, being the family of a Reserve or Guard member can be even more difficult as you are not very close to the normal supports that Active duty families typically have available. Because of my DH's assignment, I was able to move to be near my family (on the Army's nickel). It was a God send for me, but it was also difficult because NOBODY around me had been through anything like this. There was a "virtual" FRG, but that meant nothing to me. So yah, I get it. But, you get through it and, from personal experience, it is much easier on the LO to have his daddy gone when s/he is itty-bitty. My DH was TDY last week, for four nights, and I thought to myself, on more than one occasion, that I was thankful that DH was deployed when he was. It was much easier, for me, as the mom, to care for a non-mobile baby by myself. Take good care of yourself and the LO. You can do it, but it does get hard to keep up the brave face.
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  • Let it all out, girl! It happens with all of us sometimes. My favorite time to pout it out is when my LO goes to sleep for the night and I am just sitting on the couch by myself, thinking of how when DH is home, that's OUR time.

    Try to keep your head up and thoughts positive and the best advice anyone ever gave me: Stay busy! :)

     

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