Natural Birth

DH doesn't want to do another method this time :(

We both really liked the Bradley classes we took, but also felt like the actual "method" wasn't super helpful for us.  I'm sure the suggestions work for some, but for me, I had to be moving the whole time.  The knowledge, and finding what worked for me, was really what got us through it.

I really want to try hypnobabies this time (the homestudy since there aren't classes close enough to us), but DH thinks it's a waste since we really didn't find most of the suggestions from Bradley to be helpful.

Anyone go through something similar?  How did you convince your DH that your new method was worth the money?

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Re: DH doesn't want to do another method this time :(

  • I frankly don't think it is up to your DH.  He's not going through it. His job is to support you.

    And does he ever buy anything that you think is not so important?

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  • It is not up to your DH, you are the one giving birth, you get to decide on what method you'd like to use. Also, Bradley and Hypbobabies are COMPLETELY different! If Bradley didn't work for you, that does not mean that Hypnobabies wouldn't be a better option this time around. If you really want DH on your side, you can show him the Hypnobabies website and let him read some of the birth stories they have on there www.hypnobabies.com, that may bring  him around. GL!
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  • If he hasn't read Birth Partner, he should. His job is to support YOU. We didn't really "do" a method last time. We took a hospital class and the Baby Steps Intuitive Birth class and we used a mixture of techniques that worked for us. I wanted to try something different this time, so we are doing hypnobabies. I like that it focuses on choosing what's right for you in your birthing time. You should come over and join the hypnobabies yahoo group and see if anyone over there has some thoughts for you.

    you have to do what is right for your baby and your birth. Like HB says - "this baby and this birth are unique unto themselves". This is my fave phrase because it keeps me from thinking about what happened last time.

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  • I totally agree w/the PPs.  But if he's still resistant, why don't you just buy the book and read it together (or each of you read it)?
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  • I'm not sure why he thinks adding another method into the mix wouldn't be helpful, in that hypnobabies just helps you relax and remain calm, or why he thinks he gets the final say.
  • imageduncanpowers:
    I'm not sure why he thinks adding another method into the mix wouldn't be helpful, in that hypnobabies just helps you relax and remain calm, or why he thinks he gets the final say.

    Sorry ladies, I should clarify.  He's not saying absolutely not or telling me I can't order it.  He just thinks it's going to be a waste of $.  We discuss all purchases greater than $50.  We don't tell each other "you can't buy that!" but we make our feelings known and try to take the other's feelings into account.  It helps us to keep our spending in check.  DH was awesome during my L&D with our son and I think he just thinks that since he did it once, he's got it down.

    Honestly, I don't have much to complain about as far as my birth experience.  I really did great until transition and my labor lasted 36 hours.  At that point I really felt like I lost control though and it was very painful.  I never asked for drugs, but I felt like my spine was going to snap in half and I'd like to avoid that this time if at all possible!  If not, well, I can take an hour and a half of pain.

    I ended up ordering a hypnobirthing book so that I can get a better feel for the whole hypnosis during birth method and he agreed that if after reading it I feel that hypnobabies is still something that I really want to try he's ok with it. 

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  • imagerobbie3982:

    imageduncanpowers:
    I'm not sure why he thinks adding another method into the mix wouldn't be helpful, in that hypnobabies just helps you relax and remain calm, or why he thinks he gets the final say.

    Sorry ladies, I should clarify.  He's not saying absolutely not or telling me I can't order it.  He just thinks it's going to be a waste of $.  We discuss all purchases greater than $50.  We don't tell each other "you can't buy that!" but we make our feelings known and try to take the other's feelings into account.  It helps us to keep our spending in check.  DH was awesome during my L&D with our son and I think he just thinks that since he did it once, he's got it down.

    Honestly, I don't have much to complain about as far as my birth experience.  I really did great until transition and my labor lasted 36 hours.  At that point I really felt like I lost control though and it was very painful.  I never asked for drugs, but I felt like my spine was going to snap in half and I'd like to avoid that this time if at all possible!  If not, well, I can take an hour and a half of pain.

    I ended up ordering a hypnobirthing book so that I can get a better feel for the whole hypnosis during birth method and he agreed that if after reading it I feel that hypnobabies is still something that I really want to try he's ok with it. 

    Then check out craigslist and ebay for used copies of the home study course. I got an older edition  (4th from 2005, instead of the newest, 6th) for $40 on ebay. My thinking was, the workbook may be edited since then, but the method/tracks are what is the most important, and I don't need extra tracks. (or, I could purchase them online later from the website.)

    And with the used copies on ebay, the sellers typically list the titles of tracks/CDs included so you can check for yourself that it is the sameb and everything you need.  

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  • imagerobbie3982:

    We both really liked the Bradley classes we took, but also felt like the actual "method" wasn't super helpful for us.  I'm sure the suggestions work for some, but for me, I had to be moving the whole time.  The knowledge, and finding what worked for me, was really what got us through it.

    I really want to try hypnobabies this time (the homestudy since there aren't classes close enough to us), but DH thinks it's a waste since we really didn't find most of the suggestions from Bradley to be helpful.

    Anyone go through something similar?  How did you convince your DH that your new method was worth the money?

    Yes And if he thinks its too much money. You can purchase the book "Hypnobirthing" and learn & use all the techniques.

  • My husband and I can't afford the "special" method classes so we just bought a few books off of Amazon. I've purchased 2 Bradley Method books, one for me and one for my husband as well as a book called Active Birth (I can't remember the author). I feel pretty prepared so far as my mom used the Bradley method for all three of her deliveries and still remembers a lot, she's been able to help me with my studying. I'm just worried that my husband won't be fully prepared, he has barely touched his Bradley book. But I trust that he will be there for me the best he knows how and my mom will be there every step of the way to give us both guidance.

    That's how we avoided spending hudreds of dollars on any birthing method, but to each his/her own. Do whatever makes you comfortable and I'm sure your husband will come around.

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