Baby Showers

SO: Throwing your own shower

So my mother talked me into having my baby shower at my home rather than hers (her excuse was she is hosting all the Holiday get togethers for the family, and my shower is right after in January) She also pleaded that if it is at my house we will not have to haul gifts home after.

I reluctantly agreed since it was about the 5th time she asked me to have it at my house. But I worry that it will look tacky, or look like I am throwing my own shower. I am also a little aggrivated that I have to clean up my house and probably end up doing much of the prep work myself, DH said he is happy to do this so I dont have to, which is sweet, but when it comes down to it, I can't help but think, Isn't it my shower? and I should be able to just relax and enjoy it? Not worry if someone if going to spill punch on my sofa?

Thoughts? Experiences? TIA!

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Married 1/20/07
DD Born: 2/18/11
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Re: SO: Throwing your own shower

  •  Not tacky IMO as long as the invites say your mom is hosting the shower and she runs the show, I wouldn't give it a second thought.
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  • As long as your mom send to the invitations and handles the RSVP's it's not tacky. However I would be annoyed about having to do a lot of the prep too. The only reason I wanted a surprise is so that I could avoid all the drama and my mom freaking out before hand. 
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  • imageRach7170:
     Not tacky IMO as long as the invites say your mom is hosting the shower and she runs the show, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

    Okay, good. I was worried. Usually my mom is a but more of a take charge kind of person, but the older she gets the less motivated I see her get about doing things. She volunteered to host the whole family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But is grumbling that she only did it because she knows no one else will volunteer. I just think it is a little hypocritical of her to complain that no one is volunteering when she knows she doesnt want to either... And then complains about hosting when she offered (even if she didnt want to) Its like, look, if you dont want to host, then dont offer. AND don't offer to have my baby shower at your house and then take it back.

    I guess I am not really mad that the Shower has to be at my place, but that my mother is becoming more of a grumpy old lady these days who would rather be a hermit and hide from doing anything nice for anyone. But will also turn around and lecture me and my sisters about not visiting our grandparents or other family enough. (we all live in the same state and in decent proximity to eachother)

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Married 1/20/07
    DD Born: 2/18/11
    LO #2 EDD: 10/16/15
  • Sorry for the little rant there ladies. I think my feelings are a bit hurt by the situation.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Married 1/20/07
    DD Born: 2/18/11
    LO #2 EDD: 10/16/15
  • I don't think it's a problem as long as it's clear that your mom is the host. My friend's shower was at her house and her hosts came over the night before and cleaned up for her to save her the trouble.
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  • If you're concerned about having all the work get dumped on you (and your DH shouldn't be burdened with it either) than just make it clear what your expectations are.  Say something like, "Sure mom we can have it my house since it does make it more convenient.  So what time do you plan on coming over the day before to get the house and food ready?  If I'm not home I'll make sure to leave a key for you!  Oh, and just so all your hard work doesn't get ruined I'll go get a mani/pedi the morning of the shower and you can have the whole house to yourself!"  See how she reacts and then go from there.
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  • imageVazquezGal:
    Sorry for the little rant there ladies. I think my feelings are a bit hurt by the situation.

    I understand why your feelings are hurt. Maybe you should tell your mom this. Is anyone else willing to throw you a shower?

  • My sister's baby shower was at her own house. It was a little more centrally located/just off the interstate for guests. My mom just made sure to say who was hosting on the invites. My mom and other sisters helped with getting the house ready and we brought all the food etc to her, and cleaned up afterwards. I must say not having to load presents into vehicles at the end of the day was great. we just took everything up the nursery.

    Mine will probably be at my mom's since i live out of the area furthest from all of the family. It makes more sense for me to travel than to add an extra 2+ hours to everyone's travel times. And 3 kids later my sister's house is a little crowded. :)

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  • My baby shower was at my house b/c my mom and sisters who were the hosts all lived out of town. It really was not a big deal at all. Everyone knew they hosted it. They put their names on the invitations. They did all the cleaning, cooking, and everything else baby shower related. I got to sit back and enjoy the day. Many people today have the showers at their house.
  • We had an "open house" type shower for my sister in her home. She enjoyed showing off the nursery, since she did some hand painting for it herself.

    My mom, my sister's friend, and I did all the work. We cleaned her house beforehand, we set everything up, and we cleaned up after. I don't think it's tacky, especially if the hostesses' names are listed on the invitation.

  • Mine was at my house. My friend that hosted lives in MD and all the other guests (and me) live in VA. It just made more sense so they didn't all have to trek to MD.

    She came over beforehand and set up all the food/drinks/cake/etc.  Yes, I cleaned my house well before too, but I really needed to do that anyway. And I got to show off the nursery, which everyone wanted to see!

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    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

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