Do you have to jump through hoops?

Daisy77

As I posted the other day, I want to upgrade our car for a SUV.  Something that isn't a huge beast but that will fit 2 carseats and a teenager (comfortably) in the back.  Bonus is fold down seats when I need more room and don't have the kids with.

Here's the problem: DH.  He is opposed to spending that kind of money on a newer car.  I want to go newer as I know for a fact that I won't get to upgrade again for a looooonnnnggg time. 

We don't take vacations or eat out.  We don't have any kind of tv channel package (cable, dish, etc).  We don't have fancy cell phones, super Ipods, e-readers, Ipads, and tons of other "toys".  When we got our laptop, I researched it like crazy, got the best deal I could and used all the gift cards I could find. Plus, I use it for our business bookwork.  It still took a LOT to convince DH but guess who uses it to search for more trucks, watch "Smallville" or to change his fantasy lineup?

With DH, he is always finding another truck to add to our snowplowing fleet.  Our trucks for hauling are decked out and look nice.  His reasoning is always: "It was too good a deal to pass up" or "It's for the business".  As for the SUV, he thinks we should get something older and fix it up.  Same goes for my car.  Last year he and a buddy busted the air dam while trying to load it onto a car dolly.  It looks awful and like I don't know how to pull into a parking space.  Last year I went for a whole month without blinkers.  I have to give a heads-up on an oil change a good month or so before it's due.

The appeal with a newer SUV is that I get what I want, now. No waiting for parts.  No installing a newer radio.  No repairs to get it running.  DH can do all of that but it takes him months if not a year or more.  What I drive just isn't high on his list of things to do and I try to respect that he wants to fix things, but waiting a year for something HE broke?  Ridiculous.  I take good care of my car and with the exception of that air dam, it looks really good both in and out.

When it comes to big decisions like this, how onboard is your DH with being fair?  I feel like he can chose something, claim it a "business" thing and call it good.  I, on the other hand, just have "It makes sense.  And hauling a kid in the trunk isn't legal." We both come to the final decision together and now I think I've been way too accommodating in the past. It's frustrating. 

 

 

jenifairies

My DH pretty much goes with what I want. I try to be reasonable, though. My DH keeps mentioning buying a fixer-upper house. I want absolutely nothing to do with that. I don't mind a little cosmetic work, but no, I'm not going to remodel a house I'm living in. Yeah, he can do all of those things, but how long would it take, you know? I just point out how little time he has and he agrees with me.

My best friend's husband sounds kind of like yours. He buys expensive stuff for his 'business' but doesn't want to cough up money for a new laptop for her, or to get her a better car. He has 2 laptops that he won't let her use, and even though his truck works great and is newer than her SUV, he's trading in for a new truck. It makes zero sense to me, and I think it's pretty selfish, but "it's for his business" so he does what he wants.

You need a safe place for your kids to ride. My DH wanted to get himself a fixer-upper truck and I said no, just go get a newer one so we can fit the kid in it. No point in driving a jalopy around for years while you wait on time/money for parts. It makes sense to me. I'm Team Daisy.

funchicken

We're in the process of car shopping right now, too.  DH wants to get a newer car because he would be stressed out all the time if I was driving DD (and soon a new baby) around in something older and possibly unreliable.  He's super-conscientious about car maintenance--it's just one of his things.

For other larger purchases, we're usually on the same page.

JOEBunny

DH and I are not on the same page about cars.  He loves nice, expensive cars and would have no problem spending $50K.  I am not so much into cars, and have a problem spending $25K.  His company is now paying for both our cars, so the money issue is minor for us at this point, but I still am getting a Mazda 5 for my next car, which is about 1/2 the cost of the car DH would like for me to get (Hybrid Toyota Highlander). 

That said, I like my cars new.  I might drive them for 10 years, but I prefer to have them new, and I don't like cars that don't work.  I went out and got a new job once because I could not afford a new car on my current salary at the time.  I could have bought a new used car, and DH has many times, but I just like to buy it and drive it myself and take care of it.  

funchicken

JOEBunny:

DH and I are not on the same page about cars.  He loves nice, expensive cars and would have no problem spending $50K.  I am not so much into cars, and have a problem spending $25K.  His company is now paying for both our cars, so the money issue is minor for us at this point, but I still am getting a Mazda 5 for my next car, which is about 1/2 the cost of the car DH would like for me to get (Hybrid Toyota Highlander). 

That said, I like my cars new.  I might drive them for 10 years, but I prefer to have them new, and I don't like cars that don't work.  I went out and got a new job once because I could not afford a new car on my current salary at the time.  I could have bought a new used car, and DH has many times, but I just like to buy it and drive it myself and take care of it.  

I was looking at Mazda 5's, too!  Have you test driven one yet?

Hope*Always

When it comes to cars, DH and I typically think the same. Neither of us will ever buy brand new but we always look at "newer" vehicles. But my brother also works with used cars and goes to auctions all the time so I know when we can afford it, we can get a nice SUV that's a couple of years old for a great price. I would keep talking to him and pointing out your reasoning. If you feel comfortable, have a real heart to heart and tell him your feelings on him justifying business expenses. He might come around.

Daisy77

jenifairies:

My DH pretty much goes with what I want. I try to be reasonable, though. My DH keeps mentioning buying a fixer-upper house. I want absolutely nothing to do with that. I don't mind a little cosmetic work, but no, I'm not going to remodel a house I'm living in. Yeah, he can do all of those things, but how long would it take, you know? I just point out how little time he has and he agrees with me.

My best friend's husband sounds kind of like yours. He buys expensive stuff for his 'business' but doesn't want to cough up money for a new laptop for her, or to get her a better car. He has 2 laptops that he won't let her use, and even though his truck works great and is newer than her SUV, he's trading in for a new truck. It makes zero sense to me, and I think it's pretty selfish, but "it's for his business" so he does what he wants.

You need a safe place for your kids to ride. My DH wanted to get himself a fixer-upper truck and I said no, just go get a newer one so we can fit the kid in it. No point in driving a jalopy around for years while you wait on time/money for parts. It makes sense to me. I'm Team Daisy.

I'm trying to be reasonable as well, trying to stick in a price range and not going for a ton of bells and whistles.  I think he is just afraid I want something he won't be able to fix and he won't admit it.  I think we're going to reach that point sooner or later and besides, he doesn't have the time the way it is.  This winter he is fixing up a semi truck to sell it again...so he may have ordered the air dam for my car but when do you think it will actually get ON the car?  I'm not holding my breath, lol.

He buys older trucks (late 90's to early 00's) for plowing but that works because it's all they do.  Hook up an expensive plow and send them into the snow, lol.  DH can do repairs and they get tended to right away.

In regards to safety, I think the exact same thing as you said: We need a safe place for our kids to ride.  I currently have a clean record, no tickets and my only accident was because some chick hit the side of my car (mall parking lot intersection @ about 10-15mph).  And that's where I have the problem, I'm not worried about my driving, I'm worried about others.  Texting, cell phones, inexperience, etc.  I was almost t-boned one day by an older guy who clearly had his phone up on the steering wheel. DH just thinks that stuff will never happen to us.  We have been very lucky but I don't care to take a chance on it, you know? 

Kflie83

Maybe you can compromise and get something a few years old. We got our 2005 Ford explorer XLT for $14k last year with only 45,000 miles and it looked brand new.