DH's parents have always been a mess.. anyway his mom has been in and out of his life and 2.5 years ago they had a "final falling out". It was a culmination of her not approving of our wedding in Mexico (we had an AHR planned, but she didn't care), and then while she wasn't talking to us my mom passed away and she never even acknowledged that either. Not to get too into the story but she has been nasty to the entire family, people just don't like her, she is manipulative/nasty/etc.
But DH's aunt is my MIL's friend. She never stands up to her or anything, so she takes my MILs side, even though she "can't stand her". We used to visit my DH's aunt all the time, but now we don't, because the aunt invites the MIL over and so then we can't go (again, we haven't seen/spoken to MIL in 2+ years).
Now DH is really worried that we don't see the aunt enough. The thing is, we invite them to parties and invite them over and they can't come for whatever reason, and now the aunt is having a Halloween party tomorrow night, and DH wants to cancel our plans for some local Halloween events and drive an hour to his aunt's (I don't really want to drag the kids out).
I feel conflicted - I mean, his aunt excludes us from holidays/gtg's because she is always with my MIL (who she says she can't stand), so then we have to go the extra mile to see them. I don't know what a good solution is, but any thoughts? I just told DH we could have a dinner party here if he wants. I'm not digging the thought of dropping our plans last minute just to hang out, when it doesn't seem they make an effort at all.
BTW my only relatives are my aunt/uncle - they came here 3x last year and they drove 4 hours to get here each time. DH's aunt/uncle live 45m away and never even acknowledged my DD born last October, they don't even know how to spell her name (it is a super popular name).