sorta s/o: "My dr said I couldn't get pregnant..."

jettagurl

Do you really believe this?  

Really? That someone's dr says all matter-of-factly, "you can't get pg"....

I don't believe it.   I just can't picture a credible Ob/Gyn making a statement like that.  Sure, maybe it would be hard, maybe there are a lot of factors playing into it.....but for someone to just totally throw all BC out the window because their dr said it wouldn't happen.  

My nieghbor's son & his GF have 1 yr old.  they apparently haven't used BC since (or before - the baby is a 'miracle') because she claims her dr said she couldn't get pregnant.  Guess what?  #2 is on the way.  

This may be my unpopular opinion, but I just kinda roll my eyes when I hear that someone's doctor told them that.  

 

 

 

Jen2124

I hear it all the time, so I don't know. I guess it depends on why. If someone has tried and had many losses or tried for years and years and years and the dr says it with a credible reason, I have no reason to doubt it.

It also depends on the person though...and how credible they are in general.

Cbidt's girl

As a rule Drs hardly ever say never. They give percentages or say "not likely to conceive without assistance". My sister has 2 blocked Fallopian tubes her doctors said "not likely". Turns out if wasn't likely for more IVF cycles than I can count.

summerbrideDC

Well, I have a friend who went through 5 years of infertility treatment, never once conceived, has since given up all treatment, but she and her husband don't use birth control.  She has never conceived.  I haven't used birth control in almost 4 years. I've had 4 IUIs. I have not conceived again. 

Are there miracles?  Sure.  But some people can't get pregnant.  I think a lot of doctors try not to say "you can't get pregnant" b/c it's an incredibly painful thing to hear and it means less $$ from you if you give up after hearing it.  But sadly, for some people it is true.   

jettagurl

Cbidt's girl:

As a rule Drs hardly ever say never. They give percentages or say "not likely to conceive without assistance". My sister has 2 blocked Fallopian tubes her doctors said "not likely". Turns out if wasn't likely for more IVF cycles than I can count.

This is what I'm saying - people take the "not likely" and just  forget about that little chance that they could.  Even if my dr told me "not likely" and I knew I didn't want kids, I think I'd still use some form of BC.  

For instance, DH had a V - so it's highly unlikely I'd get pg since he had 3 negative samples after that, but there's still a chance. I realize the risk and make decisions appropriately.  

I just don't understand people being so shocked when they wind up pg, I guess.  

goodheartedmommy

Kind of different--DH was told he'd never have kids because of looooong running problems. I was on BC for cysts/heavy periods, but went off because we wanted to at least give it a shot. We always planned on adoption, though. It took 8 months with E, but it was me that was the problem then. Anyway, yes, he was told he'd most likely (not absolutely) never be able to procreate. I would never have counted on it as birth control, though, especially if I wasn't wanting a kid, you know?

Temp108743750006959

I have PCOS and DS was born through IVF. I've only had doctors say to me, "you may have trouble getting pregnant" ...actually the first time a doctor said that to me when when I was 17-18 and had not had a period since I was 13...

I don't use bc but I am in a position that even though I think 'one-and-done' sounds good, another baby would be welcome and we'd be in a financial and emotional position to take care of a baby.

jettagurl

summerbrideDC:

Well, I have a friend who went through 5 years of infertility treatment, never once conceived, has since given up all treatment, but she and her husband don't use birth control.  She has never conceived.  I haven't used birth control in almost 4 years. I've had 4 IUIs. I have not conceived again. 

Are there miracles?  Sure.  But some people can't get pregnant.  I think a lot of doctors try not to say "you can't get pregnant" b/c it's an incredibly painful thing to hear and it means less $$ from you if you give up after hearing it.  But sadly, for some people it is true.   

 If you were told this, though, and absolutely did not want a baby, would you still not use any other BC?  I guess I'm referring to those couples that have heard this, don't want a child, but continue to not use BC, then are shocked/upset when it happens. ( and especially when the dr was proven wrong once already). 

 

JOEBunny

I have an IUD, my doctor told me people get pregnant on them all the time.  I can't imagine him saying that to a teenager/young girl.  People my age do have doctors tell them that all the time, but it is because they have tried and failed for many years. 

joy143dh

I was on depo-provera for 11 years.  When I told my OBGYN (it was April) that we were thinking of having a child in the next few years, she told me not to take the shot, because it would take "at least 3 months for the cycle to return and 3 more months to be fertile"    So I thought I "couldn't get pregnant" for at least 6 months.  

I got KTFU 3 weeks after that appointment (in May).  We were extremely happy, but I'll admit that we were both a little shocked at the timing.

summerbrideDC

jettagurl:

summerbrideDC:

Well, I have a friend who went through 5 years of infertility treatment, never once conceived, has since given up all treatment, but she and her husband don't use birth control.  She has never conceived.  I haven't used birth control in almost 4 years. I've had 4 IUIs. I have not conceived again. 

Are there miracles?  Sure.  But some people can't get pregnant.  I think a lot of doctors try not to say "you can't get pregnant" b/c it's an incredibly painful thing to hear and it means less $$ from you if you give up after hearing it.  But sadly, for some people it is true.   

 If you were told this, though, and absolutely did not want a baby, would you still not use any other BC?  I guess I'm referring to those couples that have heard this, don't want a child, but continue to not use BC, then are shocked/upset when it happens. ( and especially when the dr was proven wrong once already). 

 

If I absolutely did not want a child, I'd probably have my tubes tied and not have it be an issue at all. What you're describing seems to me like such a singular sort of experience, I have a hard time relating it to all women who are told that they have almost not chance of getting pregnant or all doctors who share that unhappy news w/ their patients.

CleoKitty

Jetta, if you found out you were pregnant tomorrow wouldn't you be shocked?

ETA: *I* would be shocked for you, LOL! 

jettagurl

summerbrideDC:

If I absolutely did not want a child, I'd probably have my tubes tied and not have it be an issue at all. What you're describing seems to me like such a singular sort of experience, I have a hard time relating it to all women who are told that they have almost not chance of getting pregnant or all doctors who share that unhappy news w/ their patients.

I totally get what you're saying... but like GHM and vccake said....even though  they were told they/their partner 'probably' or 'likely' couldn't have a child with assistance, they wouldn't rely on that alone if they didn't want/wouldn't welcome a child.  

I'm definitely NOT trying to minimize that harsh reality some women face...but those women most likely would welcome a surprise pregnancy (and therefore, not who I'm talking about).  Referring to those women that don't want a child but continue to have unprotected sex....and there have been more than a few instances like this in my life ....my BFF even - long before I was ever pg and more educated on cycles/ovulation/etc. 

A-baybride

I have a friend whose doctor said that, and I believe her.  They tried for years and years to get pregnant and finally did with IVF.  When she went in for her 6 week post partum check, when most doctors discuss birth control, he said she couldn't get pregnant again without IVF, so no need for birth control.  (They had frozen embryos that they planned to use, insurance that covered IVF and obviously had success with IVF, so this news was neither devastating nor unexpected.)  8 months later she was pregnant.  She was actually a few months along before she figured it out since it never occurred to her that her "flu-like symptoms" could be pregnancy symptoms.

When I was 20, I had an OB/GYN tell me I didn't ovulate and that I would probably need help to get pregnant.  Fortunately I stayed on the pill the next 15 years - I was knocked up the first cycle off of them.

jettagurl

CleoKitty:

Jetta, if you found out you were pregnant tomorrow wouldn't you be shocked?

ETA: *I* would be shocked for you, LOL! 

I'd be shocked, yes, but I know it could happen...I mean, unless I had a total hysterectomy and he had his vas deferens removed, there's always a chance.  And I would know were were taking the necessary precautions to avoid it (picking an effective form of BC) - so it wasn't about being careless.

(and I'd secretly love another pregnancy and more babies....it's the 2 yrs and up part that I can do without!) 

 

MrsCali_Bride

My parents have been married for almost 35 years and were never able to get pregnant, to my knowledge (I'm adopted).  I don't know if it had to do with my dad or with my mom or with a combination of the two but I know that for as long as I lived with them, they never used birth control.

AZ_Erica

My mom's doctor told her she couldn't get pregnant. After 8 years of trying...bam, pregnant with twins.  Doc told her it wouldn't happen again, 2.5 years later, then came my sister.

 I have known several people personally that have "supposedly" been told that by their doctor. They all have kids.

mamarazzi

I had a friend who said the same thing.  She claimed her doctor told her that her PCOS diagnosis would make it next to impossible for her to get pregnant without help.  She had never been trying to get pregnant -- was in her early 20s and not engaged or married yet. 

Two weeks after her now-H proposed, she got a BFP.  They had a shotgun wedding and ended up pregnant again...with a baby due less than 18 months after her first.

belle204

My sister had dysplasia and other reproductive problems and was told she wouldn't be able to have kids. Needless to say, he was wrong. My friend has her tubes tied and has a 3 yr old now. I always say unless it comes from God's lips don't believe that sh*t.

Bellisimo

As MH always says, "In medicine, nothing is ever 'always' or 'never'.  The same can be said for life in general."  No one really knows for certain what conversations these people have had with their physicians except for the patient and physician him/herself.  And it's highly unlikely that a physician would ever make a blanket statement but instead would give more of a diagnosis/prognosis based on statistics.  So, yeah, I'd take it with a grain of salt.  Miracles do happen though.  And stranger things have happened.

gdemars

A good friend of mine was told as a teen that she couldn't have kids (she had a number of issues and surgery to fix one of them).  Her and her SO have been together for 17 years, yes 17 years, and NEVER used birth control other than at the beginning of their relationship.

Fast forward and they have a 9 month old daughter.  ALL those years of not being cafeful and Ooppss!  She's had a baby.  Her daughter is beautiful too BTW.    They were in shock when they found out. 

Never say never, isn't that the saying???

EDIT: My friend was 35 when she found out she was pg.

emiliemadison

I see this two ways. There are women who actively try for a looong time to get pregnant and are unable to. They go through testing, procedures, and all kinds of interventions and still, nothing. So when their Drs say something along the lines of "Your chances of getting pregnant are slim to none," I'm more inclined to believe that they were told and believed that getting pregnant was not likely, if possible at all.

Then there are women who have NEVER tried to get pregnant and who have "unexpected" pregnancies. These women say "It was a shock! My dr told me that I couldnt get pregnant!" Sometimes they say they have PCOS or endo, but often they give no explanation as to why or how their Dr would ever have come to that conclusion in the first place. Maybe a Dr said they might have trouble getting pregnant, but I'm less likely to believe that a dr actually told them they couldnt get pg.

cnybride2be

i kind of feel does it matter if they say such stuff anyway? someone was wrong, them, the doctor, the fortune teller at the fair. oh well.

Purrrfect433

My mom was told this after she had 1/2 of one ovary and 3/4 of the other removed when she was 16. She had terrible endometriosis and they did this to try and help her. Anyway, the only two times she had sex without protection? My brother and me. So, yeah. Unless you have no ovaries, no uterus or have been hermetically sealed, I think that anyone of childbearing age has the potential to get pregnant. But, maybe with extremely low odds.