Ugh.... — The Bump
Military Families

Ugh....

I don't normally post, much less on this board, but DH just got a promotion... Yay! With that comes a conveniently timed training period out of state in which he will miss the birth.... I am so bummed, we do not know that many people in the area, and I am thinking I will have to go stay with my mother  which means I will have to change doctors b/c she lives 4 hours away, I really do not want to go through this alone....anyone else in this boat? How are you preparing for it?
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TTC #2 since 8/2012
Me:28 H:34
Me: all tests normal!
H:  Azoospermia (Sperm count zero).
MFI Urologist all test normal.
Biopsy Feb. 14

****EVERYONE WELCOME****

Re: Ugh....

  • We aren't KU yet, but this is something that DH and I have gone around and around about! He is going to deploy in the spring and if we were to get pregnant in the coming months he would miss some of the pregnancy and birth. In a perfect world (haha, yeah I know) if we got pregnant a month or two before he left would be ideal because he could be home the last couple months and for the birth. But we both know that getting pregnant (and not to mention being in the military)is something we have no control over. I know this isn't much help or advice to you but it is comforting to know that we aren't the only ones going through this :) GL to you and your DH! 
    TTC our first Navy baby! Me:27 DH:30, together since 8/2003, Married on 7/2006
    9/26/10 stopped BCP and started TTC.
    9/2011 referred to RE. All blood work normal and DH's SA=normal results
    11/2011 HSG=both tubes clear
    One natural (monitored) cycle of Clomid, 50mg 2/2012= BFN
    Getting ready for first IUI, 3/2012 received orders to Japan! (postponed IUI)
    5/2012 Moved to Japan, fought Tricare for months over referral (no fertility treatment on our military base) for Japanese RE out in town!
    8/2012 Started seeing new RE
    9/2012, post coital test= hostile cervical fluid, (finally) moving on with first IUI!
    9/29/2012 IUI #1+trigger= BFN
    10/27/2012 IUI #2+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger= BFN
    11/28/2012 IUI #3+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger= BFN
    12/28/2012 IUI#4+100mg Clomid CD5-9+trigger=BFN
    2/1/2013 IUI#5+injectables+trigger=BFN
    3/2013 IUI#6+injectables+trigger=???
    image
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  • We had something similar happen to us. DH was supposed to go to this one school in Oct-Nov, however they decided for budget reasons to cancel that class section and DH would have to go to the one in Jan. It starts the week before my due date. DH spoke with his command and now he will either go to the class at a later date or attend a completely different school all together. Maybe your DH can speak with someone in his command about attending the training at a later date if possible. If not, do you think your Mom could come and stay with you so that you don't have to change Dr.'s by moving closer to her?
    Long time Waiting BFP 5/8/10 It's a Boy! 1/7/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Graphics
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  • My DH will be deploying a few months before I am due.  We are just acting like this is nothing out of the normal and I am trying my best not to think about it, because that usually starts the waterworks. We are going to try to set up skype in the room if DH will somehow be able to be notified and get to a computer. This is our first deployment so I really don't know how all of that works. I am lucky enough to live within 10 minutes of my mother, but there's no way all her love and support will make up for DH not being there for the birth of our first child. But I just try to remember that I am not the first wife to go through this and certainly won't be the last. And at least I have a husband who I am madly in love with. 

    And I'm sorry you'll have to deal with DH not being there, too. 

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  • NSLNSL member

    We found out DH was deploying just a few weeks after I got pregnant with our second.  We knew it was a possibility, but the reality was something I don't think either of us was fully prepared for.  He left when I was 5 months pregnant and will return when the baby is 6-7 months old. Those of us in this situation deal with it because we don't have any other choice. 

    Being honest, what keeps me positive when I'm tempted to feel down about the situation is knowing that the things he's missing will be outweighed 100 fold by all of the things he'll be here for after he gets home.  This baby will have no memory of him not being around, and when he gets old enough to put two and two together and realize that we don't have baby pictures of him with his daddy like we do of his brother, he'll also probably be old enough to understand the reason why DH wasn't around for the first few months of his life.  

    That said, in your situation I would see if your mom could come down to your current location instead of having you move closer to her.  If your husband's training isn't going to last long (less than a month) it would seem to make more sense for her to come to you rather than to force you to switch doctors and hospitals so late in the game.

  • DH will be off at training during the month I am due, and if I go late he will have already PCS'd to another state. He may or may not be able to jump on a plane and make it back for the birth. We are hiring a doula so that I will have someone with me the entire labor, in case my aunt cannot get here in time either.
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