FMLA causing a disagreement with DH (long)

shellyrn

So, I was cut back 2 hours a day at work. I found out that my hours for FMLA are starting to be deducted. I sure hope that for the next 7 weeks I can continue 6 hours a day at work. That would mean I would have 10 weeks left for FMLA after delivery. Well, I am going to be selfish and say that I am not going back to work until at least 12 weeks after delivery. Anyone else that has 2 babies ( not twins)  gets 12 weeks with each baby. We, with multiples, get to hope for 12 weeks after delivery if our high-risk pregnancies allow us to work up until our due dates...I talked with HR today and found out that they will give me the return to work date and if I do not come back then, it is considered a "voluntary terminaion." In talking to my husband (who has been stressed out since day 1 about finances), he says that I will go back when they tell me to. REALLY????? I doubt there will ever come a time in my life that I look back and say "Boy, I really wish I would've went back to work sooner." 

Anyone else in this same predicament? Any advice on how to discuss this with my husband???

twinsmom23

Yes, FMLA only holds your job for so long, and then you are terminated. 

amanda31H

You both need to be on the same page, that's the only "advice" I can give you. 

I know finances can put a big stress on your marriage, so if you have to work to pay the bills, I guess you have to go back when your job says so - they are within their rights according to FMLA.

 

shellyrn

That's just it...we will be fine financially. I know there are laws and if I get away with breaking the rules, everyone else will want to do it too. I just can't imagine having to go back to work so soon after having them!!! And who knows when it will be...That is my problem, I have no control or answers as to how the next 7 weeks will go!!!

clarku2000

I had to go back when the girls were 7 weeks old because I was on bedrest for 6 weeks prior to delivery.  It sucked going back to work and not being with them, but I need my job for the health care benefits.  If I didn't go back on the scheduled day I would've lost my job.

Temp159135562506975

sorry- but i side wiht your DH. Sure- it would be great to have a longer maternity leave - and i do suggest that everyone take all that they are allowed - ALLOWED being the key word... doesn't matter that you have twins- you get what you get - as  all of us here did.

i'd be pretty pissed if my DH said he'd risk losing his job for an extra 2 weeks off... that seems pretty assenine to me- sorry.

shellyrn

Don't be sorry, Goldie...That is what I need to hear to help us get through this...I have such mixed feelings on if I am being selfish or not. So your opinion is valable!!

Thanks!

JosiePosy

I guess it just depends on how much you value your job. If you gotta go back, well you gotta go back. It sucks, but you know what your options are.

Rangergal9

I have been out of work since Oct 14th, but my 12 weeks doesn't start until the day the twins are born.  Actually I am entitled to 16 weeks thanks to MA state maternity leave act, and once again it doesn't start until they are born.  Like others said, if you have to go back by a certain date, then you have to go back.  I know I wouldn't want to lose my job so I would go back.

gumiberg

if you dont go back, you need to expect not to have a job.  so, you and your DH need to agree that its OK for you to not be employed.  and there should be a plan intact and how and when you plan to re-enter the work force.

do you want to stay at home for awhile?

shellyrn

gumiberg:

do you want to stay at home for awhile?

Oh I would love to stay at home, short-term....but I do need to go back. I just know it is going to be sooo hard! 

schoolsoutbride

While I agree with him in theory on the leave, I don't like that he's basically ordering you to do it.  Not cool.  Things like this are to be discussed, not laid down.

shellyrn

schoolsoutbride:

While I agree with him in theory on the leave, I don't like that he's basically ordering you to do it.  Not cool.  Things like this are to be discussed, not laid down.

Yes, I have an issue with that too.It makes me push back even harder. When he got home from work, we were able to sit down and calmly talk about it. We were both able to relax a little, knowing that we are both afraid of the unknown!!

susanc07

i went back to work 8 weeks after my section.  my twins were still in the NICU.  when they finally came home, i used 3 vacation days.  and then right back to work.

i would love to have had 10 weeks.  i agree with your DH.  2 extra weeks isn't worth the strain this is likely to put on your marriage.  and in this economy, i wouldn't want to be without a job.

hinghambride

Does time off for a high-risk pregnancy count against FMLA? If I have to go out early, my Short Term Disability insurance will cover me under a separate claim then the birth of the babies. I don't have FMLA coverage, but I am entitled to 8 weeks unpaid per baby as is the law where we live. Vacation and PTO do not have to be used up if I don't want to use them.

Maybe look into how the time off for the pregnancy affects FMLA? Not 100% positive that its right. And do your own research. HR can be wrong. Mine was. They knew nothing about the laws in our state. I had to show them...

I'm a big believer in asking for what you want.  Ask for the extra weeks of unpaid leave so you can get the full 12 weeks. The worst they can say is no.  I wasn't technically entitled to any form of leave when I had my daughter and got 16 weeks through my own negotiation. It's worth a shot.

And talk to your husband so you are on the same page and he isn't making mandates. Afterall, you are the one who has to go back to this job and do it every day.

 

sarahjane936

hinghambride:

Does time off for a high-risk pregnancy count against FMLA? If I have to go out early, my Short Term Disability insurance will cover me under a separate claim then the birth of the babies. I don't have FMLA coverage, but I am entitled to 8 weeks unpaid per baby as is the law where we live. Vacation and PTO do not have to be used up if I don't want to use them.

Maybe look into how the time off for the pregnancy affects FMLA? Not 100% positive that its right. And do your own research. HR can be wrong. Mine was. They knew nothing about the laws in our state. I had to show them...

I'm a big believer in asking for what you want.  Ask for the extra weeks of unpaid leave so you can get the full 12 weeks. The worst they can say is no.  I wasn't technically entitled to any form of leave when I had my daughter and got 16 weeks through my own negotiation. It's worth a shot.

And talk to your husband so you are on the same page and he isn't making mandates. Afterall, you are the one who has to go back to this job and do it every day.

 

FMLA allows you 12 weeks per year regardless of whether you have 1 qualifying medical issues or 3.  If you are put on bed rest for 6 weeks, you only have 6 weeks left of your FMLA.

Short Term disability is completely separate.  FLMA holds your job, STD replaces your paycheck.

You might see if your company offers a leave of absents program.  I can take up to 6 months of unpaid Medical Leave after the babies are born.  They won't necessarily hold my job that whole time, but will consider me for another position once I come back.

sarahjane936

hinghambride:

Does time off for a high-risk pregnancy count against FMLA? If I have to go out early, my Short Term Disability insurance will cover me under a separate claim then the birth of the babies. I don't have FMLA coverage, but I am entitled to 8 weeks unpaid per baby as is the law where we live. Vacation and PTO do not have to be used up if I don't want to use them.

Maybe look into how the time off for the pregnancy affects FMLA? Not 100% positive that its right. And do your own research. HR can be wrong. Mine was. They knew nothing about the laws in our state. I had to show them...

I'm a big believer in asking for what you want.  Ask for the extra weeks of unpaid leave so you can get the full 12 weeks. The worst they can say is no.  I wasn't technically entitled to any form of leave when I had my daughter and got 16 weeks through my own negotiation. It's worth a shot.

And talk to your husband so you are on the same page and he isn't making mandates. Afterall, you are the one who has to go back to this job and do it every day.

 

FMLA allows you 12 weeks per year regardless of whether you have 1 qualifying medical issues or 3.  If you are put on bed rest for 6 weeks, you only have 6 weeks left of your FMLA.

 

Short Term disability is completely separate.  FLMA holds your job, STD replaces your paycheck.  STD only pays as long as your doctors says you medically need to be out.

 

You might see if your company offers a leave of absents program.  I can take up to 6 months of unpaid Medical Leave after the babies are born.  They won't necessarily hold my job that whole time, but will consider me for another position once I come back.

sarahjane936

OOPS...I didn't mean to post twice.