Would this make you mad?

Mrs. Theobald

We went to a birthday party for a friend's two daughters who have really close birthdays and just turned 4 b/c she adopted them(I play softball with her husband).  It started at 4:30 which I thought was kind of late but whatever it is her party.  We get there and they have dinner and a face painter, etc.  The girls keep asking to open their presents but she keeps holding off.  There were two other couples there that we knew.  The first one sneaks out at about 6:15 the other leave at about 6:45.  We wanted to leave too but Ava was having fun and we were blocked in their driveway.  Finally around 7 pm (Ava's bedtime) I tell her we really need to get going.  She says we are about to open presents and eat cake can you stay for 20 more minutes.  My husband doesn't want to but we stay.  We eat cake and then they finally starts to open presents.  She didn't have people separate their presents as they came in so they were all mixed together and the girls were opening each other's presents, etc.  She is very high strung and yells a lot and it was an uncomfortable situation with her trying to make them stop opening presents so she could see who they were for.  We got them fur real dog thingys but DH suggested we didn't put their names on them and then which ever one they opened they could have since they were different.  I get a minute and tell her the striped bags are from us and that we didn't put their names on it so if you just want to let them pick a bag they can.  She acted slightly annoyed (not sure if it was my comment or her wild kids).  2 seconds later she goes over to our bags which should have been opened next and she moves them to the side.  I thought it was weird.  They open another present and then the next one they open is from one of her friends and it is the same thing we got them (but different types).  The lady was all excited saying pet their backs, etc.  I was beyond pissed.  Why did she move our presents to the side?  I felt like she knew what we got her and she wanted her friends present to be opened first.  So I looked at DH and said lets go!!  I get to work on Monday and tell one of my friends who left early what happened and she said that the Mom and her friend went through all of the presents while everyone was outside.  So she totally knew what was in our bags.  How rude!  Who does that?  And who waits 3 hours into a 4 year old's birthday party to open presents?  Seriously!!

 

andrea922

I don't think anyone should open gifts at a kids birthday party. It takes too much time and kids don't have the attention span or understanding that the toys are for the birthday kids and not them.

maykat

andrea922:

I don't think anyone should open gifts at a kids birthday party. It takes too much time and kids don't have the attention span or understanding that the toys are for the birthday kids and not them.

Ditto this!!  Plus I like to be able to write down what everyone gave so I can properly thank them.

Mrs. Theobald

maykat:

andrea922:

I don't think anyone should open gifts at a kids birthday party. It takes too much time and kids don't have the attention span or understanding that the toys are for the birthday kids and not them.

Ditto this!!  Plus I like to be able to write down what everyone gave so I can properly thank them.

I know there is some that think it is not proper etiquette to open presents but that is what kids want at their party.  They want to open presents.  People also like to see the joy on kids faces when they open their presents. 

My point is if you ask someone to stay for presents don't move their present to the side.  That is rude.  And don't wait 3 hours into a birthday party for a 4 year to open the presents they have been asking to open since the party started. 

 

AliBGood

As I read this, I didn't see a problem with it until you heard from your co-worker that the party kids' mom went through the present.  She obviously did exactly what you're guessing -- move your present out of the way so her friend's gift would be given first.  She sounds kind of like a b!tch. 

AugustaBride04

Umm, yeah. I would have been mad too!  I can't believe she asked you to stay for presents and then once she found out which present was from you, moved it to the side.Also, I think it's crazy that the mom and her friend went through all the gifts while everyone was outside too.  IMO, 3 hours is a long time for a kids party - especially waiting to open presents at the point.

andrea922

Sorry, I didn't realize which part you had a problem with. I really dislike kids opening presents in front of party guests, so that part would annoy me. I realize kids want to open the gifts right away, but that is part of parenting, teaching them to wait!

Yes, moving your gift aside was rude, but I wonder if she was totally stressed out about the whole thing since it sounds like it was a zoo.

andrea922

Oh, and none of my friends open gifts at their parties, I don't think it is that strange. Many of my friends request no gifts at all.

DzsGirl

Yes it would have annoyed me that she looked at the presents and put yours aside! As for opening the gifts, we do a joint party for our boys and the one time we tried to let them open gifts it was chaos...no we just let all the kids have fun and we open the presents later.

Daisygirl613

this post made me decide i should always put my gift in a box and not a bag.  then they won't know, right?  

i'd be mad about that too.  sounds very childish. 

ebearwife

DzsGirl:

Yes it would have annoyed me that she looked at the presents and put yours aside! As for opening the gifts, we do a joint party for our boys and the one time we tried to let them open gifts it was chaos...no we just let all the kids have fun and we open the presents later.

This is what we will be doing.  I refuse to have present opening time at P's party and I hate present time at Christmas!  P lost interest after 2 gifts last year and the entire family was waiting with baited breath.  I was pregnant and I wanted them to leave so I could crash and it took FOREVER.  I am so over the whole opening gifts thing period.  I guess its appropriate at a shower but even then, it is tedious.  Although, since it may be the case that my MIL is selling our house this year or next I may ask for no presents so I am not moving extra stuff to another house in the future.

slwprincess

Who the hell goes through the gifts while everyone is outside?!!!  And why on earth would you ever want a 3 hr birthday party for little kids?  2 hours is plenty IMO.  Yeah, I'd be ticked.

donna&ed

andrea922:

I don't think anyone should open gifts at a kids birthday party. It takes too much time and kids don't have the attention span or understanding that the toys are for the birthday kids and not them.

I couldn't agree more and my in laws were annoyed when we told them that we weren't opening gifts in front of everybody. But if they really want to they can come to our house later so they can watch William.

 

UGAbride

Sounds like she handled the whole thing poorly (I prefer not to open gifts in front of all the guests, too)...as far as how long she waited, going through them all ahead of time, and shoving yours aside - weird!

Janimal

This would not make me mad. 

If it's best for my kid to leave a party - we will leave the party.  When I give a gift I hope the recipient will like it, but I would give no thought whatsoever about the order the gifts are opened in and whether or not someone else was getting more credit than me. 

It sounds like this woman throwing the party was a bit clueless, and going through the presents was just childish and dumb --- but to be upset over her behavior would also be a bit childish to me.  I wouldn't give it any more thought at all.

Sounds like you were very polite and accomodating in a situation where someone else was rude.  That was the right reaction to me.