Do you "compete" against a SIL? — The Bump
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Do you "compete" against a SIL?

I don't have any sisters, but I feel like my SIL is always competing with me.  Mostly it's materalistic.  I get a necklace from Vintage Pearl, she gets one.  I buy new boots from Nordstroms, she needs to know where I got them.  Luke gets a cute hat from Etsy, she wants the seller info.  I'm starting to lose my cool.  I know "imitation is the sincerest of flattery" but this is getting really frustrating.  I can't imagine talking to her would go well...

Re: Do you "compete" against a SIL?

  • Yes. That is why I don't tell her what I buy! Plus living 2000 miles away from her helps. I never mention where I get things especially when it comes to DS.
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  • Maybe she just likes your sense of style?
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  • imagejessicaclare:
    Maybe she just likes your sense of style?

    I get that.  And I've asked others before about cute things too, but doing it as often as she does...nope.

  • "Oh, this hat?  I have no idea where it's from.  Someone gave it to me."

    "These boots? Thanks. I love them too.  I can't even recall where I got them. I've had them for awhile.". 

    Just play dumb!

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • My SIL likes to try to control DH.  She is constantly nagging him about something, judging him, giving her opinions on our parenting, etc....So, in a way I feel like she over-steps her bounds into my territory.  Basically, she busts DH's [email protected] whenever she can get a chance.  DH's friends have even noticed what she does.

    With your SIL, I'd see it as a compliment that she copies you.  Like they always say: imitation is the best form of flattery.

  • imagejessicaclare:
    Maybe she just likes your sense of style?

    This!

    I was really jealous of SIL when my niece was born, but over time I realized that it was my own personal issues. I had/have a really great relationship with MIL and theirs had always been...polite and respectful, but less warm. After my niece was born and I was still childless, for a really long time it felt as though DH and I weren't part of the loop...MIL was SO focused on our niece that we would come to visit and feel like she hadn't said two words to us. I always worried that she would love our child less b/c he wasn't the first.

    Of course all of that was silly and she was just reveling in her first grandchild. SIL and I didn't always get along, but as the mothers of each of our children's favorite people, things are great now. We are still different people and would probably never pick each other to be friend, but that's what makes us family. Plus we can identify with husband issues, b/c the brothers have so many simlar traits.

    Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.
  • imageEastCoastBride:

    "Oh, this hat?  I have no idea where it's from.  Someone gave it to me."

    "These boots? Thanks. I love them too.  I can't even recall where I got them. I've had them for awhile.". 

    Just play dumb!

    Defintely going to try that!  Not sure how long she'll buy it, but it's worth a shot.

  • No. She is nice and we are so completely different style-wise and everything, we are too apples and oranges to compete. However, BIL competes with DH big time. They are having a baby this winter (so excited!) and I can totally see him making a competition out of the kids.
  • Nope.  I have 3 SILs.  2 of them suck, 1 of them is 2,000 miles away, and none of them are competition.  Wink

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  • Nah. My brother's wife and my husband's sister are both nice and very down-to-earth. If anything, my brother's wife and I compete to see who might get the better sale price on something. We're all about some bargain shopping.
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  • Nope my SIL and I never compete. We have kind of the same style. I get along really well with my SIL. We live one house from each other and work together in the say department.

    If you don't want you SIL knowing where you buy things just act like you forgot.

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  • Ohh honey, trust me, I feel your pain! I have someone who does this to me as well. I bought a pair of cute heels, she bought the same ones. I bought a pair of cute boots, she bought the same one. I put my house up for sale, she does too. I go buy a certain car, she went and bought the same one. My baby can stand alone, hers can too. It's so overwhelming. At first it was flattering, then it was annoying, then it down right pissed me off. Now I've learned to shrug it off and deal with it.

    If she (and your SIL as well), can't be original, that's pretty sad.

  • I had a friend that did this to me.  I got my hair cut, she called her hairdresser that day.  I bought a condo, she bought a condo.  I got engaged, she moved in with her bf. I got a cat, she got a dog.  ugh.  So annoying.

    There really isn't a whole lot you can do I guess, except limit the amount of time you spend together and don't tell her where you get stuff.  When she asks just say "I'm not sure, it was a gift" or something like that.

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  • I have a SIL who competes with me for random things as well as parenting things.  (DH's brother's wife).  She is insecure about the fact that I'm close with MIL (we worked together for 2  years before I even was introduced to DH). 

    She's just competitive in general, and she at least admits it.  She has a baby that is 4 months to the day younger than my DD.  She admits that she's only still BFing because I did it for a year, and even though she wants to quit, she doesn't want me to 'win'.  It's odd, really.  Their pedi gives them totally different advice than our pedi does, which is fine, since we both like our respective pedis.  However, since I've been doing the whole parenting thing for longer, she'll ask for advice, then negate it with whatever her pedi has told her.  It's frustrating. 

    Overall though, we get along.  She just competes with me, even when I don't know what it is she's competing with me over:)

  • Ugh. Yes. My SIL and BIL love to compete with us. They found out from MIL that we were TTC (we used Clomid & had some struggles so we werent telling a whole lot of family) so they started trying and got pregnant before us and announced it at Christmas while everyone was opening gifts. We got pregnant a couple months behind them and their son was born 3 months before DD.

    They are always seeing what they can get that we don't have. We got a new car, and they proceeded to tell us that it was the same exact car they were already planning to buy and that we took the idea from them!!! They cant even afford a new car so have never made mention of it. To set the record straight, we have had it almost a year and they still don't have one Surprise

    Lets just say birthday parties and holidays are always a joy at the ILs house Stick out tongue

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