May 2011 Moms

Is it possible (re. sex of baby)?

For my DH to find out the sex of the baby and not me? I really truly don't want to find out (I'm set in my mind) and my DH really wants to find out (he's set in his).

His reasoning is sweet in that he wants to visualize the baby and what he'll do with the 2nd child. It is his way of bonding with the baby.

With our first, we found out and I was happy we did for planning purposes but this time, I can't find any reason to find out early other than for my DH. 

So, as a compromise, I was thinking he could find out at the 20 week mark and keep it as a secret from me. The rules would be that he won't tell me, won't tell any friends or family and he'll alternate between "it", "he" and "she" when referring to the baby.

Is this crazy? Do you think it is possible? I really want that surprise on that day. By the way, I pulled out all the stops to get him to agree to not find out, including bribery, and he wouldn't budge.

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Re: Is it possible (re. sex of baby)?

  • I know my hubby wouldn't be able to do that! Best of luck! I'm curious to see how it works out - keep us posted!
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  • Ummm good luck with that!  There is no way my hubby would ever be able to keep that secret!
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  • I think that if you really want to try it, go for it. If it was my DH though, I know it would slip out eventually. 

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  • are you planning to register for the baby together?  cause if so...not sure that that'll work out too well with him knowing pink or blue!
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  • Its worth a shot.

    Be realistic in knowing that it likely wont work out though and he will slip up. 

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  • I don't think my husband would be able to keep it a secret from me! 
  • I think you guys are right, I think it will be hard for my DH to not slip up and I guess I have to understand that it means that it may not work and prepare myself for that disappointment.

    Thank goodness we don't have to do registry since this is #2 and with #1, besides clothing, we got everything neutral.

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  • I know if my husband found out it would be sealed up like a vault - his secret.  But not all people can keep a secret.  I though about having it written down for my Mom as a Christmas present, but she would blab it to everyone, eventually getting back to me.  I am being selfish this pregnancy, so no one will know.  With DD I was pressured by the whole family because of severe health issues with my Grandmother to find out, even though I didn't want to.
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  • My DH wanted to do this but he is the worst secret keeper ever.  He usually tells me my b-day presents before because he cannot keep it in.  He finally realized that he would find out when the baby was born and he could wait until then.  Thank goodness I really do not want to know.
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  • I wouldn't even attempt this with my DH.  He is horrible at keeping secrets, but you could definitely try it.  The worst case is that your DH will slip up and tell you. 

    As someone else pointed out, what happens when you register?  I think it's already hard to shop gender neutral anyway because so much stuff screams "boy" or "girl".

    Edit:  Sorry, didn't read the post about you not needing to register this time.

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  • My sister did this. EVERYONE knew her second baby was a girl, except her. I don't know how it didn't leak out, and her husband must be a total vault. But she said she didn't know!
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  • Whew, that would be tough!
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