I know it's been asked, but babies at funerals?

C.Mo

Is this appropriate? I was thinking of maybe taking her to the wake only and skipping the funeral since we have no one to watch her. I feel like I should go to the funeral, as this was an aunt of my DH's that we were very close to, but I don't want to take anything away from the family.

Also, what would you dress them in if it is ok? I don't think she has anything black....

I know this has all been asked before, but it's one of those things that until you're in that situation, you don't really pay attention.  

coconutbug

We took DS to DH's grandfather's funeral and wake.  DS was a little loud during the ceremony, but no one really minded; rather, they were happy he was there.  DS just wore some nice gray pants and a white top.  I don't think anyone expects a baby to show up in all black.

Shayna0182

It's a different circumstance, but when dd passed away in May, ds attended the funeral.  Dh held him the whole time, and he was very good and played with a book the whole time.   We did have a relative on stand-by to take him out in case he started getting loud.

I would say, take your lo, but be prepared to keep her quiet with a toy or book, and take them out of the room if necessary.

He wore khackis and a orange polo.  We didn't have anything in black for him, and I thought as long as he looked nice, and was clean, he didn't need to wear black.

AfterAll

I brought Jackson to a graveside ceremony a few weeks ago for DH"s grandmother.  It was fine.  People were happy to see him, and when he started getting loud, I walked away.

I also brought him to each night of the Shiva (like a wake), and again, everyone was happy to see him, it gave them something else to think about.

SailorGray

coconutbug:

We took DS to DH's grandfather's funeral and wake.  DS was a little loud during the ceremony, but no one really minded; rather, they were happy he was there.  DS just wore some nice gray pants and a white top.  I don't think anyone expects a baby to show up in all black.

Ditto everything except it was my H's grandmother's funeral and DS wore a sweater vest. It would have been weird if he wasn't there. He was about 4 months old at the time.

I recently went to my good friend's Dad's funeral and I think it would have been inappropriate to take him to that one seeing as how he didn't even know my babe existed.

 

C.Mo

Thank you for the responses. I think I found a light blue dress that looks subdued enough, that's pretty much my only option.

runningirl83

I have brought DD to two funerals of family members and the memorial service for a close friend's mother since she was born.  At each, she has worn cute dresses.  We have been told at all 3 that it was great to have her there - and even as she started to get upset during one of the services, the rabbi reminded everyone that my DD represented the circle of life.  nice thing to be reminded of... 

kiarox2002

We took DD to both my grandmother's and DH's grandfather's funerals this summer.  Everyone, including my dad and his mom expressed how grateful they were that we brought her.  Everyone loves to see babies and it can give the grieving a bit of relief.  I would not have brought her to the funeral of someone who was not a relative though.

We sat in the back for my grandmother's funeral and plied her with yogurt melts.  (She thinks these are baby crack.  This is pretty much the only time she has ever gotten them.)  DH took her out when she started making noise.  I was very worried about DH's grandfather's funeral because we had to sit in the front as he was a pallbearer, but she was a trooper.  We brought out the yogurt melts again.

She wore a light blue dress to both.  I thought it would be too depressing for her to be in black, not to mention that it's pretty hard to find black baby dresses in the summer. 

aglenn

We took DD to DH's grandfather's funeral when she was 5 months old and she basically slept through the service.  The church had a nursery in the back with a glass wall so I could still see and hear the service and she slept on my lap. 

Earlier this week we had to take her to my uncle's funeral and she was way too mobile and crazy to sit through the service.  I took her outside and played with her on the lawn because there was no way she would be able to avoid disrupting everyone.  She was just in one of those moods.

Both times I was able to find dark-colored dresses for her, but not totally black.  Like others have said, whatever they wear is fine and people are really glad to have them there.  Good luck and sorry for your loss.

JenniferTX

When my grandma died we took DD but my BFF came in town for us and she jumped up the second DD started getting restless and ran around with her outside the funeral home.  DD fell asleep on the drive to the gravesite and my BFF stayed in the car the whole time with her.  It's one of the most appreciated things she has ever done for me.  Guess I should tell her that!

jamie.renee

My older girls went to my grandpa and my dad's funerals and wakes (they were 2 and 4 for my grandpa and almost 3 and 6 for my dad).  The younger one did get a little restless and she didn't really understand but I am happy I brought them.  

For my dad I could not find anything in darker colors so they (and my niece) wore cute, bright colored sun dresses.  People commented on how seeing them in their pretty dresses brightened up their day.  I you did want darker colors I think it was Children's Place (might be another place) that had some really cute things that are black and white.

Cat-in-Boston

My FIL is currently dying of cancer. I don't expect him to be around when my June Bug is born. I'll be bringing my DS who is currently 18 months to the funeral. I may also bring a sitter with me so if he starts to act up they can take him out of the service and I can stay, but I want to be there as a family unit at the funeral.

jesssy1204

My first thought is no, I wouldnt take LO. But if that meant you would have to skip it then I would just go after all LO is part of the family! Maybe bring a lot of snaks, and sit near the back so if you need to exit at any time it wont be a big deal. Im sure it will be fine.

And LO doesnt need to wear black, people where whatever to funerals-Id put LO in a cute outfit and call it a day..

Sorry for your loss, GL