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Multiples
Reassurance Needed
Ok ladies-
I'm starting to really freak out about having to get a c-section. I have always wanted to give birth naturally and even when I found out I was having twins I still wanted to do a vaginal delivery. Since the babies haven't flipped (Baby A is breech, B is transverse), we have no option other than a section...and I'm so scared. I know there are more stories of success than horror, but it doesn't take away my fear. I think I'm more upset about not having the choice. I feel like I'm less of a woman because I won't be able to bring my children into the world naturally. I feel cheated. I'm so frustrated. Please offer me words of reassurance before I go in for my section on Tuesday. I feel kind of stupid asking for help with this, but I know you guys are amazing. 
If nothing else, thanks for listening.
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Re: Reassurance Needed
Don't feel stupid! EVERYONE has at least a *little* bit of worry when it comes toward C-sections.
I can't tell you what yours will be like, because mine was rushed and emergency, but from what others tell me about planned C-sections, they are calm and laid back. You don't have to rush to the hospital because of labor, and get to savor the last few times you feel the babies. Also, you won't have to go through the possibility of tears down there.
C/S don't make you less of a woman. You still carried them, and are still "giving birth" to them, just in a different way, with different methods.
Hope this helps. GL on Tuesday
I know what you are going through. All along, I wanted to go natural, mostly b/c I am scared of surgery (have never had one) and the longer recovery. However about a month ago, A decided to turn breech, and hasn't moved back (not that there is much room for him to move in there anyway), so we are scheduled for Nov 11. Since it has been a few wks OB has confirmed the section, I have had time to come to terms with it... but I'm still scared.
The way I look at it though is that millions of women around the world have delivered via section, and they all survived... why are we going to be any different. Besides, at the end of the day, it is what is safest for babies.
GL!
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
Mine have always been in the "wrong" position, so it shouldn't be a surprise to me...but allofasudden (hormones maybe?) i really seem to be taking it hard.
@MommyN~I suppose that the planned aspect will help a smidge...or I am hoping.
A scheduled c-section is honestly not bad. I had to have one because I had major uterine surgery to remove fibroids in order to even get pregnant. The surgery was pretty much like a c-section except they removed fibroids instead of a baby and I was completely asleep. It was a horrible recovery. I thought for sure the c/s would be similar and I dreaded it.
Turns out, my anxiety was FAR worse than the delivery. When it's planned, it is very relaxed and everyone involved is patient and comforting. Tell them what you need to help you stay relaxed and calm and they will do it for you. The delivery itself is incredibly quick and your mind will be on listening for your babies' cries and listening and looking for them. The high you feel from having your LOs safely in the world overshadows the time it takes them to stitch you back up. The recovery itself isn't awful. Stay on top of your pain meds for the first couple days and take a stool softener after you're released, and you'll be fine.
The whole thing about being less of a woman is silly. You carried TWO babies and brought TWO healthy babies into the world. There's nothing more womanly than that. The kind of medical assistance that was needed to make that happen is completely irrelevant.
Aw. Goldie has said repeatedly that her c/s and recovery was far better than her first vaginal delivery. The fear is natural. I fainted when I was pg. with the twins and I did a c/s momma tour of the OR just in case... I handled the lecture fine and the minute I stepped in the OR I passed right out. It's scary. It's not natural. It's not in your control. But it is what the entire world of medical community will say is best and safe.
Try and shift your focus to the outcome. This is the only safe way to bring your family together. As routine as a root canal. I prmise you, when they are two and chatting and wrestling and telling you that they love you and your shiny hair, or whatever it is they love about you, HOW they got there won't matter. What makes you a more of a woman is that you will do what's best for them.
my scheduled c-section was a breeze. It was half way over before I even knew it started. You still get to experience your babies coming into the world. I got to hold them as soon as they were quickly evaluated and wiped off and all. Within 5 minutes of them coming out. Some people say that they had their arms strapped down, but that wasn't the case for me. so make sure you request that if they want to use straps. They put DD right into my arms and left her there the whole time they were sewing me up and DH had DS the whole time as well. Then I got to carry them in my arms while they wheeled me to recovery and started breastfeeding them right away.
I have no regrets about not going through labor. I am just so happy to have two beautiful and healthy babies.
Just make sure to pay attention to every detail because it really goes by so fast! GL!
If i went into detail about the issues I still have from my vaginal birth 3.5 years ago ... you would be freaked out at the thought of a vaginal birth
Lets just say, it's something I deal with every day... multiple times a day... is painful, causes other issues that are painful... has attributed to my sex drive being dead.... and is somethign I will need surgery to fix- but can't do that until the twins are older and don't need to be lifted so much - so i will have time to heal.... i had a 4th degree tear and it was HORRIBLE to heal from --- 8+ weeks of pain, crying every night while soaking in the tub- praying to God to take away the pain.... and feeling so horrible b/c I couldn't bond as well with my baby b/c of all the pain i was in during that time.
I LOVED LOVED LOVED my c/s!!!! I felt fine right away- had no problems coming home, climbing stairs, going to the bathroom... bonding with my babies - I would do a c/s over 100x's before I'd ever attempt another vaginal birth.
Sure- my vag birth experience is not common - and neither is a horrible c/s.... so just realize that it can go bad either way - and all that matters is that you do what is best for your babies and you ---- it's silly to think you are less of a woman b/c of a c/s - ESP b/c you carried TWO babies. You are MORE of a woman b/c you created TWO babies at once!
I had a really hard time coming to terms with having had a c-section, which I did not expect to have. It was really hard for me when people told me to focus on having healthy babies because obviously that was my top priority. If I had time to plan for my c-section, like you do, I would have googled c-section birth plans. They are available and give you the ability to choose some things about your delivery that may make you feel empowered.
For example: I was really upset that I did not see my babies until they were bathed, but you can request it; my DH did not get to cut the cord, but if you ask in advance they will leave the cord long enough for him to make a second cut. I would have wanted to watch. There are other things on these plans and there are some good ones out there.
I am sorry. I know it is hard.
IMO - it doesn't matter how your babies get here, as long as they (and you) are healthy.
For some reason, I never had the desire to have a vaginal birth. The idea of pushing for a long time, having tears and stitches down there, etc., freaked me out! My c-section was actually really quick and easy. My water broke around 7:30am, it took me until about 8:30 to get to the hospital (I had moved and lived about 30-45 min away depending on traffic). I checked in, nurses took my vitals, had an u/s to be sure Baby A was still breech. Then they wheeled me into the OR, gave me a spinal (which to me was quick and not painful), then next thing I know they started and my babies were out at 10:43 and 10:44am.
I had a rough recovery with a lot of blood loss, but I don't think it was related to the fact that I had a c-section (my uterus just wasn't contracting normally afterwards). But my c-section scar healed really nicely and when I got home I was a little sore at first, but nothing that stopped me from getting around and taking care of my babies. Also, no issues going to the bathroom (which I heard can be a nightmare if you have a lot of stitches down there from a vaginal delivery).
If I ever had another baby and even were given the option, I'd choose a c-section again for sure.
I certainly would have preferred to deliver vaginally, mostly because I'm just NOT the biggest fan of operations, surgery, anything scary like that. I get pretty worked up about it...in fact, I was really geared up for my ER when we did IVF, and that so was not a big deal.
For me, the section went by so quickly, and because of the wonderfulness that was having my babies in the same room with me, being held by their Daddy next to me, etc., I was so NOT focused on the actual surgery. You are so overwhelmed and thrilled by your babies being there, that you can't even worry about anything else. So it's normal to feel what you're feeling, but when you're int he moment, you won't even think twice about it. And honestly, the recovery was much better than I expected it to be.
Good luck! Congrats!
When I had my DD I was induced 10 days past my due date and then after 20 hours of pitocin I never dilated past 3cm. Then we decided to do a c/s. Within 30 min I was on the table and having my daughter delivered. I didn't have a chance to freak out or worry too much. This time I am worrying a lot more. The recovery wasn't bad, but I hated the feeling the spinal gave me. I felt like I couldnt breathe and kinda freaked out. But apparently that was due to me already having an epidural and then given a spinal on top of it. Plus one cant help but worry because its major surgery! It's perfectly normal to be worried and freaking out. I really wanted to try a VBAC this time, but once I found out it was twins that went out the door, so I also feel like I have no choice. In the end its all about delivering the babies in the safest way possible. It's a scary experience, but I am sure everything will go great!!!
WHen is your c/s by the way???
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
**people who will be delivering vaginally, don't read this**
Did you see this week's House? A woman is giving birth and the baby comes out not breathing. "Get NICU in here right now!" "What's wrong with my baby?!"
I know it was just a tv show, but now that I'm a mom, anything with hurt babies really gets to me. I turned to DH with tears in my eyes and said that I was REALLY happy we did a c/s. No way I could have handled it if something went wrong. The full NICU staff was there when my boys were born, and everything was very calm and under control.
Also, my recovery was a breeze. I walked a mile with DH on day 2 and was running by 2 weeks. Good luck!!