Birth Stories

One year post-Csection reflection

So I finally wrote my story and feel like I finally pinpointed WHY the Csection bothered me so much. I hope this in encouraging to other Csection mommies.

https://the31years.blogspot.com/2010/10/one-last-time-and-then-im-done.html

Re: One year post-Csection reflection

  • I so understand what you mean.  My son will be 1 in the end of December and all I really think about is how I really feel I for lack of better work jipped.  I had a plan to give birth to my baby, try the natural thing, and be all together.  Well that didn't happened. 

     

      First of all I felt the doctor I had was not the doctor I would have chosen for me, he was appointed by my clinic that I always would go to.  He was never around when I needed him during my entire pregnancy.  Not to say I was a needy person but this was my first baby and I was very healthy so when there were times when I felt something was off, you would think he would be around? Nope.  

     

      Second, during my labor I literally went through the entire staff.  My labor progress like a normal first timer would go but the nurses had their own agendas. Some were mean and some were nice.  Majority were just wanting things to speed up.  The entire pushing progress I was being put in some many positions when all I wanted to do was be more in a squatting position since it made since to be more down than up.  Nope they wanted me on the bed the entire time.  

     

      Then when my doctor finally decided to show his face, he looked at me and within 2 minutes he said, "better do a c-section".  That was it.  I am not going to go into the detail of how for some reason the nurses turned off my epideral for 20 minutes while waiting for blood work to be done or the fact that since my son was literally down the birth canal and to insert a catherer to cut both my son's head and a piece of me.  Oh the fact that during the stitching up part my doctor proceeded to tell me that look now when you have your next baby we can just open you up like a zipper.  I was just shocked and cried.  They are think it was because I just had a son but really it is because I didn't get to experience the birth I wanted.

     

      Though the nurses tried to comfort me by telling me that the doctor did a wonderful job and won't scar as much since he did it so 'beautifully'. 

     

      Whatever, changing doctors the next time my hubby and I want to have another baby and going to go and try for a VBAC.

     

      You are not alone!!!

  • I too had a c-section.  That doesn't bother me.  What bothers me is the treatment I received before/after the c-section.  Long story short, I was sent home to labor.  I was scared, bleeding, and in serious pain.  The midwife was so condescending ("Honey, this is labor.  It can last for days and it hurts.  You need to leave now.")  I was petrified to go back to the hospital because I thought she would send me home again.  I even told my husband to call 911.  I labored at home for 6 hours and went from 2 to 8 cm.  I got an epidural as soon as I arrived at the hospital.  At this point I hadn't eaten, drank, or slept for 30 hours and little one was "sunny side up."  The midwife had me push for 1.5 hours.  I spiked a 103 fever, LO's heart rate dropped and a c-section was performed.  They gave me too much epidural for the c-section.  My entire left side, including my eye and tongue where basically paralyzed.  They took little one to the intensive care nursery (b/c of my fever).  I delivered at 1:57 a.m. and didn't get to hold my child until 3:30 p.m. the next day.  Everyone was telling me how adorable he was, etc. and there I was stuck in a hospital bed.  I wasn't diagnosed but I am pretty sure I had post-traumatic stress syndrome and to this day I still get extremely upset when I think about my unfair birth experience.  You only get to have so many births in your lifetime (if you are lucky) and to have something so sacred ruined is painful.  So sorry for your story as well. 
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  • Jacqueline, I cannot believe your dr. made that zipper comment. That is awful. The only mean nurse that I had asked me how long I pushed, when I told her I never got to that point she said that I was so swollen down there that it looked like I had pushed for hours. Wow, thanks! I guess they forget that they are talking to women in a very fragile/impressionable state?! Msm, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how being paralyzed would make my memory so much worse. At least we aren't alone!
  • Thanks for sharing this.  I didn't get to hold my baby in recovery after my c-section and I'm still really upset about this.  I'm actually upset about everything, but I feel guilty for being upset over the process because I have a healthy, great baby. 
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  • Thanks for sharing your story. I didn't get to hold my LO in recover either and DH and LO left to go to the nursery to do all the washing up and tests. My family got to watch all of it through the window and I've asked them all about what they saw because I feel like I missed out her first moments. LO was born at 8:49am but I didn't see her until 10am.
    "Two individual minds, but with one thought. Two hearts that beat as one."- Uncle Mycroft, "Thursday Next: First Among Sequels" by Jasper Fforde
  • Thanks for sharing your story.  I had a CSection as well and am still upset almost 2 years later over how it all "went down".  I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.

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    Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
    In all your ways acknowledge Him,and He shall direct your paths.
    Proverbs 3:5-6

  • I can completely identify with your feelings about c-sections. My first child was born vaginally and was immediately placed on my chest. Those were the sweetest moments.

    It killed me when I didn't get that same time with my second daughter. I hated how they barely flashed her by me and then she was gone. My mo and husband had to tell what she looked like, how she acted, how sweet she was. I've struggled with this for a while now and no one understands why. I'm glad that I'm not alone in this feeling. Thank you for sharing your perspective!

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  • So glad you posted this, and that other mommies are posting their experiences as well. I knew I would likely have a c-section, but I never thought to ask about whether I'd be able to hold my son as soon as he was born. In the OR, my arms shook so hard the nurses tied them down, and realizing I was giving birth with my arms restrained is the most vivid memory of my son's birth.When the doctor pulled him out, I told my husband to go to the nursery with him and hold him to his chest because I was positive my kid would turn into a psychopath if he didn't receive skin-to-skin contact in the first ten minutes of his life, and there was no way I could hold him with my arms tied down. I've never told anyone that because I feel so much pressure to make his birth the happiest day of my life... but in reality, I feel like I failed him from the start.

     I guess I swallowed a lot of these feelings, but I really appreciate having a place to air them out, and knowing other moms have hurt this way too. Thanks.

     

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